Zefrank1 True Facts The Lemur
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[Zefrank1 True Facts The Lemur]
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Jerome we’re live – amateur.
Here are true facts about the Lemur, the ring-tailed lemur seen here basking it’s schnitzels in the sun is one of roughly 100 species of lemur. The endangered primitive primate that lives on the island of Madagascar.
Jerome you have to take this seriously. I’m not gonna ask again, ringtails are highly social, living in troops of up to 30 individuals.
Females are dominant and they are the same size as the submissive males. The hormones regulating increased female aggression also lead to enlarged genitals and it can be hard to tell them apart.
This for example is a female while this one could be either oh no, no that’s a male.
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In order to stay connected lemurs participate in social grooming. Trust me if you did this with your roommates you’d be closer too. It’s like picking a piece of lint off your roommates sweater, except you’re both naked and you’re using your tongue. With all this grooming going on lemurs have evolved a kind of Swiss Army vanity kit, they have a comb made out of their frigging teeth. They also have an elongated nail referred to as a toilet claw which sounds like something Wolverine would be admitted to the hospital for.
In fairness the word toilet used to mean washing up or getting dressed not to hold his [beep] in. The word toilet is not happy about that, he gets teased at cocktail parties. Words like taffeta and bouillabaisse make jokes like have you seen what toilet is wearing, was it a steaming pile of shit and they both laugh, which isn’t nice.
I digress.
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One of the greatest benefits of being a wild animal is of course free pooping. Some Lemurs though are not true free poopers, instead choosing a very unhappy tree as a communal latrine.
Lemurs are among the most vocal of the primates. The Indri lemur for example can’t seem to shut up and sounds a bit like when you squeak fart by pulling apart the butthole of a birthday balloon. Told you.
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Lemurs also communicate through colognes that they make themselves in scent producing glands.
For example, Brenda is saying that she really likes this little tree. This is Brenda’s little tree now.
When female ringtails are receptive to mating males compete in something called a stink fight. They rub their tails over a variety of scent glands on their genital regions, their wrists and their chests. This arms the tail with an odor, which like a fraternity brother cup wafting a fart they send in their competitors general direction.
Listen this works, if you’re at a bar take your hand and mix the smells from your rear butt as your front stank and your two [pitzeles] and wave it at someone. Ten bucks says they leave.
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Ring-tails spend a lot of time on the ground and from a young age learn to walk and run fairly gracefully.
The Sifaka on the other hand, do we have a better angle?
This is like a post on a private Instagram account called Brown-Eyed Earl.
Well that’s not much better.
Sifakas spend most of their lives in trees and are very impressive jumpers. They are even comfortable on the octopus tree. A tree covered in spiky thorns, which is evolutions way of saying don’t [fucking] climb on me – Sifaka don’t give a [shit].
On the ground though the Sifaka is not so elegant sort of an airline passenger with urgent diarrhea trying to squeeze past the drink cart kind of walking.
The Indri also spends most of its time in the trees. It has even figured out how to build nests like beards. The Indri predominantly eats leaves, like this one who looks like he just realized that the little piggy who went to the market wasn’t going on a shopping trip. Thank You Reddit.
The ring-tail will also eat the occasional insect like a cicada or locusts when they swarm – imagine that food just flying around like if a tornado hit a flaming hot Cheeto factory.
Some lemurs will eat poisonous millipedes biting them and then rubbing the anti-parasitic poison on their genitals whoever figured that out was a genius or an idiot.
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Many lemurs eat fruits and are primary seed dispersers in Madagascar, which means that for many plants the circle of life includes a section inside the lemurs butthole.
The bamboo lemur eats bamboo not named by the most creative person probably named his cat, cat food cat.
The mouse lemur which is amazing gently sips the nectar from the flowers of the bottle baobab tree, they may be cute but they are extremely dangerous to the dumbest and slowest of the insects.
Seriously bugs are embarrassed when their friends are eaten by a mouse lemur.
Let’s face it lemurs are cute especially the babies and I’m not blowing smoke up their [ass] – I don’t even know why I would. Someone must have done it at some point for the phrase to exist.
Let’s pretend we’re dragons, I have an idea –
Lemurs are adorable but they are going extinct. Don’t let these lemur babies wind up in a empty white room clutching a facsimile of another endangered animal.
The Duke Lemur Center allows you to symbolically adopt a lemur towards their conservation efforts.
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You never know we might be endangered someday and then we’ll want the lemurs giving to the Duke Human Center. We’re not nearly as cute and we’re gonna need all the help we can get.
This looks like it’s from an Instagram account named Butt circus. Big bird snuffle up your butts. Turds Eye View. Total eclipse of the bum.
Friday makeup tips and buttholes. God this is so stupid.
TO FIND ABOUT ADOPTING A LEMUR
PLEASE VISIT
https://lemur.duke.edu/adopt
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[Connect and Follow The Duke Lemur Center:]
Lemur.duke.edu/donate/adopt/
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[Connect and Follow Lemur Love:]
Lemurlove.org
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Zefrank1 True Facts The Lemur. You never know we might be endangered someday and then we’ll want the lemurs giving to the Duke Human Center. We’re not nearly as cute and we’re gonna need all the help we can get. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.