Val Jayce The Gay Experience Culture
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[Val Jayce The Gay Experience Culture]
[Val Jayce] Source: LYBIO.net
It is Saturday and today we are all gonna get to be gay together because the topic is gay FTMs. You don’t have to be gay with me, but you can be. No, you can’t, I’m taken.
I’m really glad we’re doing this topic, I think it’s a great and important topic and in my video I’m going to target three main groups.
Group number one: Gay FTMs.
Group number two: Gay Cis-Men.
Group number three: Everyone who’s not an FTM.
So, by three main groups I mean anyone with a pulse.
So for people who are not trans, they have this interesting way of describing the FTM phenomenon. A lesbian who takes it one step too far, the most lesbian to ever lesbian, so lesbian that they’re turning into a man. And when I hear this kind of explanation of an FTM I just wonder, at what point will they realize that they could be explaining to a gay man that they’re actually a lesbian.
Do you realize how crazy that sounds?
Yeah, you’re not really a man who likes men, you’re actually probably just a woman who likes women, that’s a logic.
See, on one hand it does complicate the whole coming out process if you’re a gay FTM. Somehow that’s harder for people to process. They’re like, ahhh, why are turning into a man if you still like men mehrhhemem. That’s probably what all of your relatives sound like.
But at the same time, I think being a gay FTM or just the existence of gay FTMs kind of helps cis people understand that trans is an actual thing. It’s not just like a hyper sexuality, it’s something separate because if anyone raises their eyebrow at the existence of a gay trans person, then they haven’t fully grasped the idea behind sexuality and gender being two separate entities.
Are they entities?
What’s an entity?
Regardless, they have more learning to do if they don’t understand how a gay FTM exists or works or whatever. It’s true that gay FTMs could have made the decision in their life to live entirely as a straight woman. That would have been super easy, I could have saved tens of thousands of dollars, a lot of weird looks and a lot of explanation but it’s not worth that. And if I’m willing to spend all of that money that I spent to get to where I am now, what makes people think that just the mere fact that I could have been heterosexual in society is enough to sway me into not being a man which is what I am.
So and if you really think about it, you’re never doing yourself any favors if you choose to live as a straight woman when you actually feel like a gay man. That doesn’t make your life easier, that doesn’t make you happier, that will not help you as a person if that’s not what you really are.
[Val Jayce] Source: LYBIO.net
People need community, they need a space where they feel like they belong. And if you don’t even feel like you belong in you’re own body, as your own person, you’re not going to feel like you belong in that culture or in that community. And gay male culture is such a powerful culture. And if you embrace gay as part of your identity that could be an incredible vital community to be a part of, you are denying yourself community, you are denying yourself culture by living as someone who you’re not.
That being said, gay male culture is extremely scary. You might feel like you don’t have the same experience in that, you won’t fit in that, and they won’t like you because you’re different but if you’re a gay man, you’re a gay man, you fit in. All gay men are different. There’s millions of different kinds of gay men and they all fit into this same culture and that includes gay FTMs even if FTM is a huge part of your identity, you still fit in with gay male culture somehow.
You know how many names there are for all the different kinds of gay men?
Twink, bear, otter. There’s like, one million animals in the gay male community. If you’re a man who likes men, there’s a place for you in that community if you want that community. It can be so good for you.
But the scariest thing for me trying to break into that culture, not in an illegal way, just like opening the doors to gay male culture way. The scariest part is thinking that I might not belong because I don’t have as much experience being a gay man as them. And that somehow that was going to make me an obvious outlier and I would not know what’s going on, all of them would just have all of the knowledge about gay men.
And then it dawned on me, and this is really important thing for any other gay FTMs out there, that not a single gay man has grown up with the experience of being gay man their entire life.
You might have more experience with that culture than most gay men, there are gay men who don’t come out until they’re like, 90. For every gay dude who will say that you don’t know what it’s like to be a gay man because blah-blah-blah-blah-blah trans, there is somebody just coming out, just learning about gay culture and you’re ahead of them and does that bother you?
It shouldn’t because experience is not what makes you part of a community, it’s just your existence.
The last thing that I wanted to talk about in this video, which I think is probably, hands down, the most terrifying thing about being a gay FTM in a predominantly cis world, is how a gay man is going to take a trans man as, you know, a possible partner. Especially with gay men, a lot of importance is placed on, you know, a
penis in a relationship. Gay dudes talk about dicks a lot. And another thing they talk about a lot is vaginas, surprisingly enough. They talk about how scary they are to them.
For a gay FTM that is terrifying because what if you can’t find someone who will accept your body. I know a lot of them might push that aside instantly and say they’re not willing to try that, they’re not willing to explore that, they’d rather just have, a gay dude with a
dick. I would just like to let all other gay FTMs or FTMs who like men out there know that a huge percentage of gay men are actually very, very open to that. Either they know a lot about it, or they have no idea what’s going on but they’re willing to try because they like you or they like the way you look depending on what you’re looking for.
[Val Jayce] Source: LYBIO.net
My boyfriend, who is completely new to the whole trans thing, told me a story the other day and I asked him to repeat it for this video so I could put it in it so maybe it will make you feel less nervous about the big bad cis gay man. You’re going to have to turn CC on because I did not physically caption it, I captioned it inside YouTube so you have to turn CC on to know what he’s saying unless you know sign language.
And on that note, here you go:
“When I started dating Val, I asked Val if it was okay for me to tell my close friends that he’s a trans man because I still did not feel fully comfortable with the idea that I was dating a trans man dating Val, I asked, Val, if it was okay for me to tell my close friends that he’s a trans man because I still did not feel fully comfortable with the idea that I was dating a trans man so I threw the idea around with my close friends to see how they felt and to confirm my feelings for Val and to feel more comfortable with the whole idea. I also told my sister about Val.
That was two months ago. During Thanksgiving break I met with my sister and I explained to her about what it means to be a trans man, how the whole dating thing works. Suddenly, at that point, I realized that if never told my sister in the beginning of my and Val’s relationship two months ago, I probably would never tell her at this point because in the beginning I just felt like I was dating a trans man but now I realize I’m dating a man that I like. That’s it. So the word “trans man” is not even in my mind. It’s just something that he is. That’s it. It’s not like if you were dating a guy, you’d feel like you’d need to tell all you’re friends, “Oh, wait, he’s black”. So “trans”, that word, it’s not really that important. I’m dating Val and it should be that simple.”
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Val Jayce The Gay Experience Culture. If you’re a man who likes men, there’s a place for you in that community if you want that community. It can be so good for you. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.