Upright Citizen’s Brigade Fatties
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[Upright Citizen’s Brigade Fatties]
[Door Bell]
[Gayle Harte:] Source: LYBIO.net
Hello Mr. Simmons, my name is Gayle Harte, and I’m with Glendale Fitness Gated Community and we’d like to welcome you to the community.
[Simmons (Father):]
Thank you but I’ve lived in this house for over 20 years and this part of town has always been known as River Heights.
[Gayle Harte:]
Um huh – well Glendale Fitness just bought River Heights, so we’re just coming by to let people know about some of our new policies.
[Simmons:]
That’s against my rights.
[Gayle Harte:]
Oh, well let me check. No, it isn’t. Rule number one, no fatties, this is a fitness community and what makes our community so special and happy is that it’s filled with normal size humans.
[Simmons:]
Yes, but I’m not fat so why are you telling me this?
[Gayle Harte:]
Okay. You’re right, you are not. Have a good one.
[Son:]
That was close dad.
[Son 2:]
That made me hungry.
[Simmons:]
Me too boys, we’ll have flan and tiramisu.
[Simmons:]
Quick Michelle – hide.
[Hitler (Against Fat People Regime:]
Glendale Fitness Community. I know you are hiding fatties in there, open up. Hello, something smells like meatball sub.
[Simmons:]
I was just burning some meatball sub incense.
[Hitler:] Source: LYBIO.net
Yes, I see, I see, incense. Ah… I see you like to read Mr. Simmons. I hope that these are not cook books, um… a diary of some sort. October 2nd that is the today. Today is a most beautiful day, because today daddy promised us meatball subs and I also like corn dogs, apple fritters, butterscotch chewys, little soup sausage calzones and the list goes on and on. Mr. Simmons, we have banned this type of literature in the new community. You realize that we have certain methods for identifying the overeaters? Mr. Simmons, did you know that the fatties have an extra bone in their stomach?
[Simmons:]
No I didn’t know that.
[Hitler:]
Yes, yes, but of course the most distinctive feature of the fatties is the shape of their feet, why are you wearing shoes inside the house Mr. Simmons? Do you have something to hide?
[Simmons:]
We have hardwood floors its cold.
[Son:]
Pass the ketchup, please.
[Hitler:]
What was that?
[Simmons:]
It’s an old house, it creeks.
[Mother:]
Now, children please, try not to say anything fat.
[Son 2:] Source: LYBIO.net
But mom, I want a butter for my cheesy ham hots.
[Son:]
And I want some sour cream for my fried salad.
[Hitler:]
Okay, Mr. Simmons I will be leaving now, but before I go, I would just like to say free chocolate.
[Son & Son 2:]
Free chocolate!
[Hitler:]
Free chocolate.
[Son & Son 2:]
Free chocolate.
[Son:]
Mommy!
[Mother:] Source: LYBIO.net
No!
[Son:]
Get off me!
[Mother:]
No!
[Simmons:] Source: L Y B I O . N E T
Please, no it’s not their fault, our family has glandular problems, please, we’ve not really fat, we just retain water. Please.
Upright Citizen’s Brigade Fatties. I would just like to say free chocolate. Free chocolate! Comedy Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.