Street Interview With Cocaine Addict – Vancouver’s East Side
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[Street Interview With Cocaine Addict – Vancouver’s East Side]
[Cocaine Addict – Vancouver’s East Side] Source: LYBIO.net
Started back into my addiction, I know that I’m throwing away everything that’s important to me. And I know that it makes me feel sad, right? So I think everybody when they have a stressful moment, they have what’s called a nervous tick, a nervous twitch, they’ll do something, and nervous habit like they’ll play with their Twiddly – Twiddly Thumbs or they will play with their hair. And then a little while late, I’ll start doing it again, it’s bad, and this is what happens.
Impetigo, you know, surface infections, and this is only seven days of being on the street. Seven days of being out here. I was cleaning silver for four months, no alcohol, no drugs, not even tylenols, you know, working a good program, having a good relationship with God, spirituality.
My addiction is based on my shame and all my sorrow from my past experience from my childhood and stuff – the stuff I haven’t dealt with, and I just really kind of stuffed back in the back of my mind. It comes out, and it manifests as a shame embarrassment, low self-esteem, low self worth, and I’m always feeling like people are judging me, so I need to get high. When I get high, I feel the power, and I feel strong. Nobody can touch me, and it alters my mind, and I don’t worry about the past, my brain is so fuzzy, all I could really do is focus on the moment rather than the past or the future.
Running from your responsibilities and what you need to do and be as a man, that really, really, it’s – so that makes me just want to get high again, forget how I am creating this dilemma; like it’s a paradox eh? Using the dope is ruining my life to make me want to do the dope, so it’s a catch 22, eh. I want to pay off now, I want the satisfaction now and that’s what drugs does for me.
[Cocaine Addict] Source: LYBIO.net
If I had some kind patience, and you know like a, perseverance for any amount of time, I would start seeing the change in my life, staying clean and sober, but I’m just get so – the overwhelming of the emotions when I come into the early recovery is too much for me to handle. I start to cry all the time. I’m angry, I’ve hard time communicating, I get frustrated, I don’t feel like I’m liked. I feel isolated and be apart from everyone else and then end up just leaving, given up, coming back down here where I’m comfortable, eh.
Then my step-dad gave me cocaine like the first time, shot me up with cocaine when I was 17; on my birthday. He said, here I heard you talking, your friends do coke, I don’t want you get any bad shit, so if you do, you do it, do it the right way the first time, and he stuck a needle in my arm. He couldn’t handle his reality as well, that’s why he was using all these years, because he didn’t like how he felt when he was sober, he carried a lot of guilt over his past.
But it’s no way to live man, what I’m saying – if there’s a message I could pass on; think about; if you feel like doing something wrong; tell yourself; you know, ask yourself if Jesus would do what you are considering you are about to do? Will Jesus do that? And if the answer is no, you don’t think Jesus would do that? Well, then it’s probably not a good idea you do it.
And you know, strive – strive to be what the best you could be everyday, man, you know what I mean; it’s kind of a hypocrite thing to say cause I don’t. I sure wish I could muster up, you know, the self worth to carry myself through. Tom has asked me to just reiterate some of the statistics for Vancouver’s East Side, and from what I know, like the bit that I’ve heard is, it’s the number one, it has a number one crime rate per capita in all of North America, it has the highest murder suicide rate per capita in all of North America. It has the number one car theft; Surrey; I think alone, which is part of Vancouver, has the highest car theft in all of Canada.
[Cocaine Addict] Source: LYBIO.net
Heroin cocaine, crack cocaine, then I don’t think there’s anywhere in the world; you hear about the Bronx and Detroit, in inter-cities, well it’s nothing like this is, it’s four blocks of Vancouver — man . I’ve seen people die, I’ve seen people shot. I’ve had guns to my head, I’ve been stabbed five times, I have had chains, bars, table legs hit over my head, my face. I had a bar over my eye there yesterday. You know; this here was a knife went right through my arm, cut my whole bicep out, ya, many, many, many things that’s the drug world right, that’s the life I choose, the path I chose down here, right. And there is always consequences, like, I can’t remember who said, but there is – for every action there is equal and opposite reaction Murphy’s law, I think it is. Ya.
There’s no way to live down here, man. If you look at for a quick way to meet your maker, this is it. If you are looking for life, and you’re happiness follow your heart, and help someone out, give back, you know, return what God has so freely given to you.
Street Interview With Cocaine Addict – Vancouver’s East Side. My step-dad gave me cocaine like the first time, shot me up with cocaine when I was 17; on my birthday. He said, here I heard you talking, your friends do coke, I don’t want you get any bad shit. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.