PJ & Thomas Gay Couple Gay Stereotypes
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[PJ & Thomas Gay Couple Gay Stereotypes]
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So in today’s video we’re going to be talking to you guys about stereotypical things that gay guys get asked.
I’m really excited about this *scream sound* because I feel like as a gay couple in the south, we get asked some abuse questions on a daily basis.
And then also being on social media, we get DM’s all the time and usually these questions are a lot of the questions in there. So I’m super excited to jump right into this video. So why don’t we get started.
Over on Instagram we asked you guys this right here…
[Text] Source: LYBIO.net
As gay men, what are some stereotypes you’re tired of hearing?
“Who’s the boy and who’s the girl?”
“Who’s the top and who’s the bottom?”
“All gay men are feminine and all lesbians are butch”
And basically we just wanted to know as a gay man what are some stereotypical things that you are tired of being asked.
We’re going to jump into a few of those ourselves right now.
So why don’t we discuss some things that we get quite a bit and then we’ll go into the responses for you guys.
I think the biggest one that we get at least once a week would be…
Are you guys brothers?
Yeah, are you brothers?
Are you brothers?
Yeah. That would be the one that we get most in face-to-face interaction. And then on DMs what would be the one that we get?
I would probably have to say who’s the top and who’s the bottom?
Who’s the bottom?
Yeah people are very curious about that for some reason as if as gay men we’re just supposed to be open books about our sex life, I think, that’s a huge misconception.
But on another note it’s 2019, isn’t everybody verse these days? I think so. Moving right along, I would say that those two are probably the ones that we get the most. In my early 20’s when I was first coming out to people, I got “oh you’re gay, what a shame”. Or…
Oh what a waste?
“What a waste?” Yes.
And I saw that a lot in the responses too. And a lot of times it would be like girls saying it like oh what a waste.
I think that they said it as like a compliment or they were meaning it as a compliment.
Like oh we’re cool you being gay, but what a waste it is like, that’s such a backhanded compliment – actually just keep it to yourself.
We don’t need it. But some of the most common ones that, I think, we’ve both gotten is, ‘oh my god you’re gay I had no idea’. As if it’s something to be ashamed of, or in the flipside people like ‘oh yeah I always knew you were gay’. Ever since this, and this and this. And it’s like okay you don’t know me, you may think that you do, but just because you think does not give you a one-up on me.
That’s a good one yeah. Everybody was like ‘oh I knew you were gay’.
Because you did x y z.
It’s like that just that doesn’t make someone gay, but anyways.
And then another time I remember probably a time when I was like 18 or 19 and a guy that I worked with came up to me he was like, ‘man when I first met you I thought you were gay, but now like I see that you’re not and you’re so cool’. Like – like when he first met me he thought I was gay so I wasn’t cool (right) and then when he got to know me and realize I wasn’t gay, then he became cool, then I was cool
Oh yeah then I was cool.
So messed up. Urgh… So those are some of the stereotypical questions that we’ve gotten growing up. Why don’t we jump into the answers that you guys gave us on Instagram. And we’re just going to read right from the phone.
And if we relate to those, we’ll share our experience.
This is a good one. ‘I would have never guessed by looking at you’.
As if the way you look represents…
Whether or not you’re gay.
Your sexual – yeah I mean like come on anyways.
I’ve gotten that one before.
Yeah, yeah I have too. We kind of touched on this one, but when people think asking about your sex life is a group discussion.
Um hm hm…
That is very relatable.
There’s another one that we’ve kind of discussed before but we get this one a lot too. If we’re monogamous or in an open relationship? That is something that everybody…
I think the first question now that people dart to it’s funny. So this is a good one, a stereotypical question is that they must be a fashion expert, or they must know how to cook, dress and do makeup and style things. It’s like, for some reason people think that all gay men are just like style experts and like…
Right and we’d all dress amazing and our homes look fabulous and like.
Oh it’s funny. So for us when we go to people’s houses and they’re renovating, or like deciding on paint colors that – that stereotypical question does fit. Like if they’re like, ‘oh what color should we do in here?’ We have enough expertise in that area too like hell.
But we have friends who are completely not in the interior design realm that are gay men.
And I would hate to see some of the choices that they make.
Agreed, yeah but would not ask them for advice.
A big stereotype is that all gay men are promiscuous.
That is very true. I mean it’s not true it’s true that it’s a stereotype. That’s what I meant to say. That is…
I think you know one of the things as like a younger, gay, adult before, probably before even coming out I had that stereotypical like idea in my mind that. And I’m not that type of person like I – I – I cherish – you know – relationships. And I don’t like to go around and – so for me that having that in the back of my mind, I was like you know I don’t know of being gay so for me it’s just because of the fact that I don’t fit that stereotype.
I know that’s hard. So they said not really a stereotype, but I hate the statement this is my gay best friend. That is so true.
I always say I hope that whenever people introduce me they’re not like this is my gay friend, Thomas. They’re just like oh this is my friend Thomas.
Or like if you’re talking to someone who is straight and they find out that you’re gay, the first thing that they will usually say is ‘oh my cousin is gay’, or ‘oh I have a gay best friend’.
It’s always like very fun.
We all know – it’s like ‘oh yeah I know’, so-and-so. Like – or they’ll be like oh you’re gay do you know Bob? We got that a lot. So as gay man we all must know each other. We’re all connected. That’s what it is.
But aren’t we?
This is a good one. I like this one. A big stereotype is that gay men have to either be masculine or feminine. Why can’t we be both?
That’s so true. I feel like I identify with that. I mean, I think that maybe I’m more feminine but I kind of identify with that like I don’t lean too heavy on one or the other.
Yeah. And then going along with that when a lot of people when you come out to them or if they find out that you’re gay, they’ll be like ‘oh so’ or if you’re in a relationship, ‘are you the boy or you the girl?’ Like that is the craziest question to think that it’s such a normal. I’ve been asked that a hundred times.
Yeah, it is bizarre.
It’s so bizarre to think that that’s even…
A thought in their heads.
Well okay to even asked.
Oh yeah or that too. And like what do they expect to say, oh I’m the girl and like it’s just such a –but all-around such a weird question.
So this is a good one. How can you be sure if you’ve never tried with a girl? That’s a good question.
Yeah, so for me I feel like in high school and then early in college, I dated a girl. And I’ve always said if I was straight, she would be the perfect girl for me. Crystal you know who you are. But when you know you know but…
Crystal is the epitome of if I was a straight male…
Like what you would want.
She – she would be – yeah.
And if things don’t work out with me and Thomas you know maybe me and her will be like golden…
Oh my gosh! Oh what? That’s weird.
No, no, no. Okay, moving on, uh…. here’s – here’s the one that we kind of talked about – I couldn’t tell you act straight. Again as if there’s a way to act straight, act gay, act whatever.
I don’t know if I’ve ever – I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten that one.
You got it straight. Yeah I don’t know. Probably not.
So this is a good one and I feel like we perpetuate this stereotype. You must find sports boring.
That one is true.
That one is very true for me too. It’s just not something that we relate to.
But I know so many gay guys who you love football, and basketball and sports in general.
Yeah. But just like there’s so many straight people that don’t like sports. So it’s neither here nor there. Whose surname do you take if you get married? You know it’s 2019 I feel like a lot of even straight people are not taking the other ones names. And it’s just a decision it’s a relationship by relationship basis. I took his last name that’s just what worked for us, it’s what we wanted to do. Yeah I think that’s a very common question among homosexual marriages.
Oh yeah. How do you decide whose name to take?
Yeah, whatever you want to do. I feel like this is a big stereotype. They said so do you like to wear women’s clothing?
You know I think that maybe back in like the old days people thought that that was…
But that – it does have relevance. As a kid I always liked wearing my mom’s clothes.
Well I did too growing up. Yes.
And I haven’t worn women’s clothing in my adulthood. But you know who knows maybe it’s fun.
Yeah, so but yeah that is a question that (um hm) a lot of people – I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that.
This is a good one. And we get this a lot, especially here in the South. You and your partner… (dot dot dot) and then they said I prefer you and your husband and I’m quick to correct people on it. So whenever people call my husband, my partner because they themselves are uncomfortable labeling us husbands, I usually say no my husband PJ or something like that.
I think it – I think it does bother you more than it bothers me. Sometimes I catch myself saying partner usually I say husband.
But I do sometimes catch myself saying partner.
And it’s – and I feel like we’ve had this discussion before on our Instagram and sometimes on our Instagram live and we’ve had even somebody either email us, or message us about why they use the word partner and why they like talk about it.
Yeah we had a whole blog post about it actually got a lot of good comments.
Yeah. But I typically use husband but sometimes I do use partner.
So another stereotypical question that I know we both got and growing up is, ‘when did you realize you liked boys?’
That’s different for everybody though.
I mean it is but…
Because I know we know people who are gay who didn’t realize it until they were like early 20’s.
So I guess it just depends on when you realized it. I think you know for both of us we’ve always known. So I’m in the mentality of like wanting to ask the straight people, well when did you know that you liked girls. Like it’s just something that, for some you’ve always just known and then for others I guess it does happen at a certain time in life.
So this is kind of a good one. It says you can’t be conservative and gay – usually from within the gate community.
I would, yeah I don’t – I don’t think we’ve ever gotten that one.
We haven’t. I do feel like there’s kind of like an unspoken rule that if you’re gay, then you automatically have to be liberal.
But we’ve done a lot of messages from y’all who are saying you know they’re conservative, but they’re still gay, they have conservative values. So again, there’s no like right or wrong way to be gay, we’re all just humans and it’s all part of it. This is a funny one, they say that you have to like drag into all the gay lingo. To be honest I don’t know anything about any of it.
That when we relate to because we don’t watch Drag Race. And I’m sure it’s a great show, we just – before this year we didn’t have that channel.
Available because we didn’t have the cable package that had it. So we just didn’t – we never watched it. And then now – people will really give us a hard time when they find out that we don’t watch Drag Race, or know all the slang that goes along with it.
The lingo – we’re still learning it though.
Yeah. I think I mean, I think, one day we’ll probably get caught up on it. It’s just we’ve been so busy and we have so many shows that we do like binge watch all the time that adding another show to the mix right now seems crazy.
We’ll get there though.
We get to you though. We get this question, yeah.
Alright, this is a funny one. A stereotypical question is, ‘what’s your wife do for a living?’ Always said by the 40 to 65-year-old co-workers?
Oh my gosh I can’t – that does happen to me a lot. They’ll see that I’m wearing a ring and it’s usually like an older woman. And she’ll be like, ‘oh what’s your last name?’ And know who scares the shit out of him whenever I’m like, ‘oh his name is Thomas.’
They’re probably like wait what their mind is just blown. They have no idea how to react.
Yeah. I’ve gotten that one several times.
I do too.
Okay, and next question, that we all like to party. I have never been asked that or like told that. But as a young gay adult I did feel like that was a big part of like the gay community, which I didn’t really relate to. So that was hard for me when I was younger to be like ‘oh I don’t want that’. But I mean we all like to go to a good party every once in a while.
The next question is that we all drink iced coffee.
I didn’t realize that that was like a huge part of the gay community until like this year, I think.
Yes. Did you?
I mean I don’t know I like coffee but I don’t I don’t ever drink my coffee iced.
I don’t either but it’s like all over Instagram like I see all these people holding ice coffee drinks and making puns about it. Who know?
Yeah. And then another question is that you have to be muscular to be popular to other gays. I feel like that is something that definitely with social media it’s kind of pushed in that direction.
Yeah I do too, because you see someone with like the perfect body, and you’re like oh like their life is somehow better than mine because their body is better than mine or something you get you all start to get all these horrible, internal feelings that are just not good.
So another response that someone said was who pays for the dates?
I think we may have gotten that in the beginning of our relationship. And at the time we did split the bill.
Or did we? Did we split right on the middle or did we take turns? I think we split right in the middle.
I think we split it down the middle.
And then we went through a phase where maybe we took turns and now our bank account is joined. So it doesn’t really matter.
So another one that’s kind of funny is, ‘so is the locker room the best place ever for you?’
Oh my gosh!
That may have truth. So not all of us are stuck up Ariana Grande’s ass.
That’s funny. That’s actually we got that question like three or four times in here. Apparently a bunch of gay men love Ariana Grande.
Which I don’t blame you.
I love her. She’s my favorite right now.
PJ is in love with her.
But that’s a stereotype.
There must be some truth behind it then. And then he sounds gay when he talks. That…
Yeah, yeah that’s a big stereotype as if I mean we talked about it you know our voices growing up but that is definitely a big, big stereotype.
Okay so we went through a lot of the responses. We have so many more. So maybe we’ll do a part two to the video. But I just thought of one when you come out to your best girlfriends, they’re always like oh my god I want to have you be my bridesmaid. So you’ll stand on their side. I’ve had like multiple people say that. Didn’t actually go through with it.
Really? I was in two of my girlfriend’s weddings but I was always a groomsman.
On the groom’s side?
On the groom’s side, yeah. They’re like made their husbands make room for me.
I love it though. I think it’s so sweet.
It is funny.
Oh my gosh this was such a fun video to shot. And we have so many more responses so we probably, most likely will be doing a part two to this. But thank you so much for watching. Like always you can find us on Instagram at PJ and Thomas.
You can find us on Twitter as PJ and Thomas.
On Facebook as The Property Lovers.
And you can go to our website pjthomas.com to read our blogs and shop our payroll.
Until next time…
[Outtakes:] Source: LYBIO.NET
So on today’s video, we’re super excited we actually asked you that – oh my god about it. On Instagram we asked you – we asked you – *screams* so I don’t like that. Maybe I’m going to skip that all together.
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PJ & Thomas Gay Couple Gay Stereotypes. So again, there’s no like, right or wrong way to be gay, we’re all just humans and it’s all part of it. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.