Jon Lajoie’s Kickstarter
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[Jon Lajoie’s Kickstarter]
[Jonathan “Jon” Lajoie (August 21, 1980)] Source: LYBIO.net
Hi I’m Jon Lajoie, you may recognize me from my popular YouTube videos, televisions of the league or simply as someone you admire and envy, because I’m awesome and famous. My fans come up to me all the time and ask me “Jon when are you going to make a movie” and my answer is always the same, its bodyguards beat the shit out of this gross poor person, who is not addressing me as Sir Lajoie. The second most common question I get from my fans is “Sir Lajoie, you are the most amazing person I know, why are you not super-rich yet” the answer to that question can be complicated, but in its simplest form – financing. I’m by most standards rich or even very rich for example, on an income scale at the very bottom you’d have homeless people, decorated war veterans, school teachers, doctors, lawyers then all the way up here you have me, because what I do is way more important than all those other things.
[Jon Lajoie – Show Me Your Genitals]
Show me your genitals, your genitals.
So yes I’m rich, but for the past few years now I’ve been wanting to be super-rich like Jay-Z rich, unfortunately that’s proven to be a little complicated and that’s where Kickstarter comes in. After I saw how Veronica Mars and Zach Braff fans responded to their projects in a mind-blowing way, I couldn’t help but think, what if instead of relying on traditional methods of wealth acquisition, I tried something different. What if I turn to you my fans for the money, by you simply handing over your hard-earned money to me, I could become super rich without all the added pressure of actually doing something. Lets face it, most of your life suck, the majority of you can barely afford basic necessity such as food and shelter, let alone luxuries like healthcare, education or happiness, but me, my life is already awesome, seriously I’ve been jet skiing twice today and its only 11 A.M. and now through Kickstarter you have the unique opportunity to make my life even more awesome.
Here is the plan, I’m trying to raise $500 million in 90 days and for everyone who contributes I have some exciting rewards for you guys. If you pledge $20 to the Make Jon Super Rich Kickstarter, you will get absolutely nothing because $20 don’t mean shit to rich people like me. If you pledge $50 or more I will send you a photograph of me, burning a $50 bill while riding a jet ski, if you pledge $500 or more I will personally plug your business in one of my videos. Speaking of which (here we go) “do you want a great rake at a great rate, Wayne Spielberg makes the rakes that never break Wayne Spielberg rakes, yes you can have your rake and eat it too.
[Jon Lajoie] Source: LYBIO.net
If you pledge $1,000 dollars or more I will send you a video of me looking at your Facebook profile and being disgusted by your pathetic life “oh my god, you live in an apartment, well got to puke” and finally if you pledge $10,000 dollars or more I will let you tell your friends that you met me, you won’t actually get to meet me gross, but you could tell your friends that you did. Please help me accomplish my dream of becoming super rich without having to compromise my sense of entitlement, I promise I will not share this money with anyone and once I’m super rich I will never lower myself to talking to you gross poor people ever again, you have my word. Thank you for listening.
Jon Lajoie’s Kickstarter. I’ve been jet skiing twice today and its only 11 A.M. and now through Kickstarter you have the unique opportunity to make my life even more awesome. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.