Joe Rogan – Full Frontal Comedy
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[Joe Rogan – Full Frontal Comedy]
Here’s Joe Rogan.
[Joseph James Rogan] Source: LYBIO.net
I’m not homophobic in anyway, let’s get that out of the way immediately. You know, if you’re a consenting adult, whatever here makes you happy, you know, I’m fine with that. But I am afraid of other guys’ dicks. And that’s the difference, ladies and gentlemen, I’m not homophobic, but I am cock-conscious, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
All right, that is just being honest, all right? What heterosexual man is not afraid of another guy’s dick? More than anything in life, nothing scares you more, be honest with me, that a fucking cold blue steel hard on, nothing. What scares you more? Horror movies? Did you get scared when you saw any of the vampire, I’ll kick Tom Cruise right in the ball, the little 5 foot 6 midget, I’m not scared of him. You want to scare me? Show me a movie of something that could really happen, all right?
Show me a movie, like a big guy with a big dick chasing a little guy in a locked room, alright? I’ll never see it again. I may have seen that video for an hour-and-a-half, it’s gone run, run, run, some big guy with a Swedish accent, where you going? I fuck you big, come on, stand still, don’t go between my leg. Some little guy from a high school, his glasses taped up.
My girlfriend thinks, oh my god. We talked like, she found me once with these big stack of porno movies in my apartment, I know you are looking at me, you’re going Joe, no way. But really I got them. And she thinks it like, that like jerking off is like optional, you know what I’m talking about? Like she goes like, you don’t need that, you don’t need all that, next time you’re getting really excited, just like, let it go, just don’t think about it and it’ll go away.
You really don’t know how the apparatus works. Let me just explain something, guys are built, we build sperm 24 hours a day, no matter what, you know that, no matter every waking hour, every minute I am talking to you, my balls are growing, all right? Every guy in this is room is a ticking time bomb, every guy, it’s just like Pacman, ba ba ba ba ba ba …it’s the biting cone you can’t stop that, that’s not something you just leave alone.
You know, just leave it alone, let me climb on to your fucking window at 4 in the morning with a roll of duct tape and a hunting knife, all right? Very necessary, those tapes are for your benefit. All these misunderstanding is about jerking off like, even the expression jerking off, like this is like, that is way too casual an expression for what you’re doing, all right?
[Joe Rogan] Source: LYBIO.net
You know, like masturbation that’s too clinical, too textbook, you know but jerking off just sounds like there’s no commitment. You know it’s very casual, you know jerking off, like no big deal, like you just quit it any minute and go do something else. You know? Hey man, what are you doing? Jerking off, you want to go to a movie? Zip up, jerking off. You know it’s nothing, like nothing, like some expressions are much more commitment, all right? Like blow job, that’s a job. Blow job, but every guy knows that a guy is much more committed to jerking off than a girl is giving a blow job, all right?
Girls, be honest. I mean how much of your boyfriend, your husband, there reaches a time when you will quit. There is a point while you are doing it, when you are like enough is enough, I can’t do it anymore, I can’t. No, my mouth hurts. It hurts me in the ahhh… Oh, I’m going to get lockjaw, it fucking hurts. Ahhh…
You don’t even care that it hurts, that’s not even bothering you, no no no, you don’t even know. You don’t even fucking care that it hurts me, you are so fucked up, you’re not even thinking about me, oh, asshole, I quit. But they’ll just quit, they’ll reach the point, no guy ever reaches that point, ever.
No guy ever quits while jerking off, ever. That’s a project you start, you always finish, no matter what, your dick could be bleeding, you could be standing in a puddle and sweat up to your ankles, going I am almost there, almost there, and your phone rings. Hi Joe, it’s your mom, I haven’t talked to you in a 100 years, whatever lady, I am very busy, I’ll call you back, happy birthday, fuck you; leave me alone, come on, I am almost there, keep going.
[Joe Rogan] Source: LYBIO.net
And like 6 hours later, you lost 20% of your body where you’re just like, come on, you are like what’s the matter with me. And it’s one of those things that when you’re done you totally don’t understand it, right? That’s the weirdest thing. When you are done it’s like 3 o’clock in the morning, the Fall Guy is on TV, you’re lying on the couch, well like this dime-sized puddle of Elmer’s glue in your stomach going, what the fuck is the matter with me?
Joe Rogan – Full Frontal Comedy. You really don’t know how the apparatus works. Let me just explain something, guys are built, we build sperm 24 hours a day, no matter what. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.