Dylan Moran On Americans
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[Dylan Moran On Americans]
[Dylan Moran (November 3, 1971):] Source: LYBIO.net
A bit, I think the reason that happened all that bad feeling about America is apart from everything that they’ve done. It’s because American stupid people sound stupider than every other kind of stupid person. Some people are just thick, but you put up with them, but Americans are annoying when they’re thick, because they say, well, you know, if they’re talking about one of those terrible incidents that happen every other day in America, they say, well, you know, I was there and the guy came in and he had like a gun, you know, and he was like shooting, and everybody else was totally dead. And you just – and it sounds a little divorced from reality somehow.
So I think that’s why there’s ill feeling about the place sometimes, because of everything the administration has done, you know, it’s like the really bad flatmate of the world. “Oh, sorry. Did I break all your shit? I didn’t know it was yours.”
[Dylan Moran:] Source: LYBIO.net
Yeah, I’ll replace it some time um with my stuff.” And, because it’s the only remaining empire, of course, you’ve had an empire once, Britain had a great empire and impressively commandeered and sequestered from the rest of the world with great style. You just marched in and said: You, you and you, fuck off, we’re having Tiffin.
And everybody sort of went: “Oh, right, I’ll gonna be off now. That’s fine. And it took centuries for people to go: “Hang on a minute, we live here.” The American style is totally different, far more insidious. This empire is run on a totally different basis. What America does is it has a nosy in some place, some war-torn, and fucked up place and it looks for oil or chocolate or whatever it wants.
And all the indigenous people obviously get pissed off, and they begin to meet, they begin to foment. They ring each other up and say: “You, Habuwa, let’s meet and foment at six o’clock.” In the local bombed-out cafe, they gather round and they say: “What are we go” I’m doing a pan global accent, okay? It saves time, because the America gets around a lot of places.
What’re we – and this represents poverty. “Hey listen, Hey Haguga, listen “What are we gonna do about the fucking imperialistic Yankee big dog? What are we gonna do? They come in here they fucking they look around, they take our stuff. What’re we gonna – I’m talking to you, put down the beans. Listen, what’re we gonna do?
It’s kind of Al Pacino from China via Brooklyn. But the um– and what the America does while these people are talking they very, very gradually builds a Starbucks around them. And then, they all become addicted to latte and they lose the will to rebel.
[Dylan Moran:] Source: LYBIO.net
And then they turn into Americans, after a couple of weeks the kind of people who come up to me and say: “Hi, I’m Irish.” “My grandmother was O’Flaherty. Did you know her?” I always say: “Yes, yes, I did” “But then again everybody did.”
Dylan Moran On Americans. It’s because American stupid people sound stupider than every other kind of stupid person. Comedy Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.