Dylan Moran – Like Totally – On Arnold Scwarzenegger
The Accurate Source To Find Quotes To Dylan Moran – Like Totally – On Arnold Scwarzenegger.”
[Dylan Moran – Like Totally – On Arnold Scwarzenegger]
[WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
[Intro] Source: LYBIO.net
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Dylan Moran!
[Dylan Moran (born 3 November 1971)] Source: LYBIO.net
Hello! Hello! Yes, yes hello. Hello, it’s very nice to be…and… You may as well be in London while you`re being. Fantastic place. Cosmopolis. People from every corner of the Earth,… every creed, every religion, every culture come here to vomit in minicabs. Sometimes, you know, you might take it for granted, you see, you might get this notion that there’s a better life for you elsewhere. Because that’s what happens to people they get stressed out somewhere like this. They think: “you know we should I don’t know… go to the country… somewhere…’Somewhere Shire'”. It’s a very bad idea. I I I grew up in the country. You don’t you don’t wanna go there. You’ve got everything here. You’re not gonna realize your dreams somewhere else. You can do it all here. You could be trapped in traffic in Tufnell Park for twenty years And you’ll never have that experience anywhere else. You don’t wanna go to the country, anyway. Most of you know nothing about it. You talk about it all the time you read about it in the Sunday supplements. You’re never going to go. Why would you go? It’s a disgusting place. It’s always wet even when it`s dry… There’s nothing there. Farmers aren’t really people. You know this. They’re just necessary. We need somebody to kill cows. Cows are supposed to be killed. En masse as well. I have this certain very well limited sympathy with vegetarians You know I don’t I don’t mind if you’re vegetarian cause you had an accident or something years ago. You fell down some steps and now you can’t chew properly. I don’t mind that but all this vegetarian-on-principle stuff is wrong! You’re supposed to eat the cows. They’re big lumbering stupid things…they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them. In the library and everything… Nobody actually wanted them originally. You know, they were just mid- conversation that kept getting bumped into by these cretins… Couldn’t take it anymore. “Give me a fuckin’ fork I’m gonna deal with this.” What people really want are squirrels but they’re too quick. Don’t go to the country. When is the last time you spoke to somebody from the country? Have you ever had a conversation with these people? “What did you do today?” “I had some soup.” “Oh for *!%*’s sake…get me outa here. “Please gimme a cappuccino before I pass out. I need a mugger.” “I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now.” And of course these people are friendly. …course they are. They talk to you. They haven’t spoken to a real person in years. And they bring you into the house and they dry all your clothes… even though you’ve not been in the rain or anything. And offer you the local thing. “You must try the local stuff.” Don’t eat it! You know why it’s local? It’s #%@@! That’s why it’s local. If you eat it, you’ll turn into one of them. You go red, you start spouting bigotry… and eating tweed with lamb fat dribbling down your chin. Don’t go near of any of that stuff. People say: “I’m gonna go. It’ll be great.” “We’ll have a solar panel toilet . we’ll get the whole family thatched.” Rubbish! And then you get these articles about how unhealthy modern life is in a city. You know you get mobile phone tumours… far more likely in the city. Well you know what? So is everything else. Including sex, coffee and conversation. And the conversations are totally different as well there.
[Dylan Moran (born 3 November 1971)] Source: LYBIO.net
I always say: “Yes, yes, I did…” “But then again everybody did.” But that’s a particular kind of American obviously. The kind of Americans you see in Europe… who often, for some reason, seem to be very generously proportioned. And the…you see them in museums blocking up the exhibits going: “What is this? Can we eat it? Where are we? Can we ..” And yet when you go to America you see that it’s a very, very because it’s so competitive and everything. People are ultrafashionable and very thin, really. I think the Americans you see in Europe are all the ones who stay in their apartments, get food piped in and then they’re just shipped out to Europe. But the ones over there… You see these a amazing looking people. They don’t look real at all. These incredibly exiguous women. You know, those people who look like they can’t support the weight of their own teeth and their head. Stalking in and out of fashionable restaurants. I don’t know what they do in there. Maybe they just rub pesto on their legs or something and… You know, they look like they weigh as much as a photograph of themselves and and… Very fashion conscious. But people have this idea that it’s that it’s still the promised land. You know, somewhere like California where everything is fruitful and abundant. But… Arnold Schwarzenegger… is – is the Governor of California. There’s a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen!? Do you know how that happened? ’cause I’ll tell you. You know how he got into that position? He got there… by lifting things. Now you and me, we avoid lifting things. It’s unpleasant. Especially heavy things. Even a five-year-old child knows this. They go: “Huh? No hahaha fuckit no. I gonna put a Lego up my arse. I’m not doing that. No no.” He took a different approach. He lifted the heavy…and you know, you lift something when you have to. Piano falls on granny… you lift the piano. ’cause granny has mixed feelings about the whole situation. Sunday lunch continues. He didn’t do any of that! He went right over to the heavy thing and lifted it… and put it back down and didn’t move it anywhere. And then he lifted it again hundreds of times. And said to the people who had stopped to observe this aberrant behaviour. “Look how good I am… ” “at lifting the heavy thing…” “in my underpants.” Now that sounds a little dim. But it was they who said: “You’re the man.” “You’re the one we want to deal with immigration and water rates and taxes and all that kind of shit.” Now, wait… what we need to know is how bad was his predecessor at that job? You know, this must have been someone who came to work covered in children’s blood every morning.
Dylan Moran – Like Totally – On Arnold Scwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger… is the Governor of California. There’s a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen!? Do you know how that happened? ’cause I’ll tell you. You know how he got into that position? He got there… by lifting things. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.