Connor Franta – Coming Out
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[Connor Franta – Coming Out]
[Connor Franta:] Source: LYBIO.net
I kid you not, as soon as I turned on the camera, my heart just like immediately started beating really hard, but..okay..
Hey, what’s up you guys! So today, I wanna talk to you guys about something. So 2014 has been by far the biggest year for me. I’ve done a lot of things and got a lot of places and you guys know all about that, but, you don’t know the biggest thing, that has happened to me this year. So I’m sitting here, in front of you, with no script, no plan, no fancy editing and I’m just gonna be really honest. 2014 is truly the year that I have accepted who I am and become happy with that person. So today I wanna talk with you guys about that and be open and honest and tell you that: I’m gay. And this may as a shock to a lot of you and it may be confusing, so I’m gonna backtrack a little bit.
Growing up, I always knew I was a little bit different than everyone else. I always just had the feeling that I wasn’t the same. But it wasn’t untill I was twelve years old, until I really had pin pointed what that was. For some reason my seventh grade year, I had this thought in the back of my head: what if I’m gay? And I immediately was so terrified. I’m from a small town in the mid-west. That’s not a normal thing there. I didn’t know what that word meant. I had only met a couple gay people in my entire life. It was terrifying to me, to have to think, that I was something, that I knew nothing about.
So I immediately pushed it away and tried to not think about it. But as anyone who has gone through this knows, you can’t not think about it. I was up all night, for I can’t tell you how many nights, just thinking. Like looking at the ceiling, just thinking about this. And I was so scared of it, that I never told anybody. So fast forward into high school, I tried to avoid it, by dating girls. All I wanted to do, was be like anyone else. So I would date girls, I would kiss girls, but I would feel nothing. I just wanted everything to be, like everyone else said it was. I just wanted to be normal, I just wanted to talk about, what I wanted to talk about, and be who I was, but I didn’t feel, like I could be that. I felt so isolated, because I had this secret, that I couldn’t even talk to myself about, let alone other people.
[Connor Franta:] Source: LYBIO.net
And it wasn’t until my sophomore year in college, that I really thought about it. I thought about it so much, that I became obsessed with it. And having that thought to myself for so long, started taking over my life and I started feeling depressed. I felt like there was no escape from my own thoughts. But I thought to myself: maybe I can continue to avoid this, if I just don’t act on it, it’ll never be a thing. And I don’t know what it was, but one year ago, I kept trying to get myself to look in the mirror and say it. I just, I was tired of running, I was tired of hiding, who I truly was, so… I just tried to say it. And I don’t think you’ll understand unless you’ve gone through it, but… I couldn’t say it. Like I was not capable of saying it. My mouth could not utter those words.
Until one time, I did. And I felt like a mixture of every emotion possible. I was really relieved that I finally said it, but I was also so terrified, that I finally admitted that to myself. And the next step was to tell a person. So in January of this year, after keeping one of my friends up till like 5 am on this couch, I told him. And I felt great. And from then on, I was just continuing to tell people. I started telling more friends. I told my parents. I told my siblings. And one by one, I started checking people of this list. And everyone was so great. I’m so fortuned, that everyone – they didn’t even like – they didn’t look at me different. They didn’t treated me different. They just said: okay. Like it was no big deal. This whole thing, that I had built up inside of me, to be this huge deal for 22 years, wasn’t. In just one year, I’ve honestly felt like, I am so happy with who I am.
And I am making this video because I was sick of having to think constantly about what I was doing, what I was saying, what I was wearing. Just, I don’t want to have to think about everything I do. I just want to be able to be me and not be afraid. I’m sick of censoring myself. This is just one little part of who I am. And I’m not gonna let my sexuality define or confine me. It’s part of me. It’s not all of me.
So today I making this video for a couple of reasons. One: I put a vast majority of my life on the Internet, and I want this to be one of those things. Two: The reason I accepted this information, was because of the Internet. I watched every coming out-video possible, four times. I’ve googled, I went in chatrooms, I found every way online to talk about this and to figure out. Because I never felt comfortable actually talking about it to anybody. So I’m making this video for anyone, who needs it. It’s okay. It may not seem like it right now, but you are gonna be fine. I know it’s scary, but don’t be afraid. You are, who you are. And you should love that person. And I don’t want anyone to have to go through 22 years of their life, afraid to accept that.
And three: I just wanna set a precedent. Race, gender, religion, sexuality, we are all people. And that’s it. We’re all people, we are all equal. I don’t want anyone to have to be afraid. I don’t want anyone to hold back who they are. It’s not okay. It’s not a good thing. And I don’t – I don’t know what else to say. My friends, my family and you guys have supported me through anything and everything and I can’t thank you for that enough. This has been easily the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I’m so happy that I’m doing it.
[Connor Franta:] Source: L Y B I O . N E T
And this video somehow turned into a sad serious moment and I’m not gonna let it end on that note. In true Connor Franta fashion I’m gonna end my videos like I always do, because this is just another video. It’s just another video where you found out a little more about me.
So until next Monday, make sure this video a big thumbs up, leave a comment below, check out my other videos, click subscribe, uuuuuuuiuuiuiup, bye!
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Connor Franta – Coming Out. So I’m making this video for anyone, who needs it. It’s okay. It may not seem like it right now, but you are gonna be fine. I know it’s scary, but don’t be afraid. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.