The Second City Network – Completely Honest Guy – Completely Honest OBGYN
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[The Second City Network – Completely Honest Guy – Completely Honest OBGYN]
Our appointment was 45 minutes ago. Source: LYBIO.net
Those times are for patients, not for doctors. Now, you look like you’re just about to pop. So when you want to schedule your C-section?
No, we are going to have a natural delivery.
Yeah, natural delivery.
Are you sure? Because the C-section will be WAY easier for me.
Yes, we’re sure. People have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years.
Right. And 200 years ago half of all births ended with a dead baby or mother. So C-section?
No. We’ve already discussed this and we want to experience a natural child birth. Source: LYBIO.net
Okay. Let me explain how this is going to go. Any day now your water is going to break and you are going to start having contractions and this is when active labor will start. Now when this happens the pain is going to be unbearable like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Imagine shitting a water melon. Speaking of shitting shortly after labor starts you are going to shit yourself. And then we are going to offer you an epidural to help with the pain, but because you are doing it naturally you are going to refuse. In a couple of hours later the pain will be so severe that you will ask us for an epidural, but we will refuse because you didn’t take it the first time. Now I am guessing you are going want to be in the room.
Yeah, it’s my baby. Source: LYBIO.net
At least as far as you know it is. Well then listen to this part very closely. Shortly after your wife shits herself the baby is going to start coming out and if it’s truly yours it’s going to be quite a load. Now, unless your wife is a real whore the baby is not going to fit out of her vagina. So we are going to have to give her an episiotomy where we cut her taint and turn two holes into one. Now after this the baby’s head is going to start to crown. This is probably around the time that I will show up and then you are going to get to watch me pull a bloody shit covered human child out of what’s left of your wife’s vagina butthole, followed by three or four pounds of blood called the afterbirth. This will ensure that you never ever again want to have sex with your wife. And after that I will slap the baby to make sure it’s alive and to take out any residual anger I have towards your wife. And then I will shove the baby under a heat lamp like it was a pork loin at a hotel buffet. So we could do all that or we could schedule you for a C-section today. I’ve got a three and a four available. I’m already scheduled at 3.30.
Great. Source: LYBIO.net
The Second City Network – Completely Honest Guy – Completely Honest OBGYN. Watch me pull a bloody shit covered human child out of what’s left of your wife’s vagina butthole. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.