The Onion – Using Social Media To Cover For Lack Of Original Thought – Onion Talks – Ep. 6
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[The Onion – Using Social Media To Cover For Lack Of Original Thought – Onion Talks – Ep. 6]
[Cameron Hughes – The Onion] Source: LYBIO.net
Social media is the driving force behind the new economy. What does that mean? Nobody knows.
I’m a successful social media consultant, even though I’ve never had a thought or original idea in my life. But, because my firm charges lots of money, we’ve put social media on the tongues of some of the biggest companies in the world, without providing an actual service.
To survive in the new Internet economy, you need to come up with a new service or product that people will want. Not likely, right? But social media eliminates the need to provide value to anyone. Let me give you an example. My firm is contracted by Cheetos. So we went around the room, talked about ways to leverage their brand online and it turned out none of us had any original ideas, so instead, we gave them a Facebook page, eventually, people liked it, these people liked Cheetos, even though they had no reason to, as we gave them no incentive. And remember, any teenager could have done, what we did for no money and much faster. Using your brains to think of an idea and your skills to implement it, that’s the old model, like anything that’s old and requires effort it’s inefficient. Facebook is already invented, we simply need to know what exists and we can pay ourselves richly as a middleman to leach off of their work.
Let me show you one other example, our firm was hired to expand Speed Stick Deodorants Twitter Footprint, they already had a Twitter Feed, we of course had no original ideas, so we hired a separate company to create 1,000 of fake Twitter accounts designed only to follow Speed Stick. We were able to increase the number of accounts following Speed Stick from 300,000 to 900, 000 in less than a week, and the best part is, all these accounts were robots, so we didn’t have to Tweet anything, because nobody was reading it, companies don’t care if their followers are real or not; they’ll pay you either way.
[Cameron Hughes] Source: LYBIO.net
Ideally, real human users will leave social networking all together. And, all that will be left will be thousands of robots talking to each other, who we can then advertise to. Now robots don’t yet buy products. That’s not our concern. In the new social media economy, you just have to keep looking like you’re doing work, and people will pay you for it. Thank you.
The Onion – Using Social Media To Cover For Lack Of Original Thought – Onion Talks – Ep. 6. But social media eliminates the need to provide value to anyone. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.