Tanya Davis – How To Be Alone

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Tanya Davis – How To Be Alone

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[Tanya Davis]
If you are at first lonely, be patient.

If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books; you’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There is also the gym, if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.

Then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid being alone principles.

The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by chow-downers, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and Silverware. You’re no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo dessert and cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.

And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching because they’re probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back, like a book of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might have never happened had you not been there by yourself. SOURCE: LYBIO.net. Copyrights: Tanya Davis

Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after a while nobody is dating them.

But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.

You can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.

But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those “sappy slogans” from pre-school over to high school groaning, we’re tokens for holding the lonely at bay.

Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relieved, keeps things interesting, life’s magic things in reach, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.

Take silence and respect it.

If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn’t get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.

If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it.

There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

Tanya Davis – How To Be Alone. Go to the movies. Where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst fleeting community. And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no ones watching because they are probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely move to beats, after-all, is gorgeous and affecting. Complete Full Script, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Poem By Tanya Davis – How To Be Alone.

On LYBIO.net Transcripts, Speeches, Text, Words, Quotes and New Reading Content. http://www.lybio.net


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Comments on Tanya Davis – How To Be Alone Leave a Comment

August 1, 2010

mike @ 11:44 pm #

several small mistakes in this. e.g. “box” instead of “books”, “me” instead of “be”

LYBIO.NET THANK YOU. Did you mean books instead of box.

August 2, 2010

sara @ 11:04 pm #

“life’s magic brings much”

LYBIO.NET THANK YOU Sara!

August 4, 2010

emmo @ 5:16 pm #

There are several grammatical errors where “your” appears instead of “you’re”… It’s fairly distracting when trying to read and enjoy the piece…

Its completely accurate now. Thank you LYBIO.NET

Some_word_and_spelling_fixes @ 7:14 pm #

THANK YOU JON – we have included your accurate complete version above. LYBIO.NET

Kyrie Collins @ 8:48 pm #

Thank you – it is beautiful. My journey is true freedom. And being free is being alone without pain, regret, fear, loneliness, apathy or some version of me being “less than”. It is a place of peace and surrender. A place of love and completeness. A place where the light is strong with no tap tap of interruption. Thank you for sharing this. LOVE

August 8, 2010

tina @ 5:50 am #

I dont like being alone.
Being alone is frustrating sometimes.

cb @ 12:15 pm #

Should the last word be “testament,” rather than “testimate”?

THANK YOU LYBIO.NET WE CORRECTED THANKS

Kristin @ 12:51 pm #

Please continue to fix spelling mistakes,
“your not suppose to talk much anyway”: *you’re *supposed”
“There is heat in freezing, be a testimate.” *testament

LYBIO.NET THANK YOU

August 10, 2010

Laurie @ 12:10 am #

line 3 – you’ll find it’s fine
line 6 – I’d follow “books” with a semicolon.
line 7 – so it’s safe
line 8 – if you’re shy

THANK YOU LAURIE FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO LYBIO. WE ADDED YOUR CORRECTIONS

August 11, 2010

Charlie @ 8:29 pm #

“If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find its fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.”

Give an apostrophe the “its” in the second sentence.

THANK YOU CHARLIE AGAIN
LYBIO.NET For your contribution to LYBIO

Charlie @ 8:50 pm #

There is also the gym, if your shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.
And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.
“Your” to “You’re”.

THANK YOU CHARLIE LYBIO.NET For your contribution to LYBIO and for the corrections: We are not sure about this one!

There is also the gym, if your shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.
And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.
“Your” to “You’re”.

August 13, 2010

Joanne Manley @ 10:47 am #

This is just to thank you for “How To Be Alone”. I didn’t agree with the columnist in the Globe and Mail – he does not understand that being “alone”
does not have to mean “lonely” or “needy”.

Could I also thank you for your early album “make a list” – especially the
words to “this sadness”. I first heard it on CBC, not long after my husband died. It gave me much comfort and I am grateful to you.

Tracey @ 7:40 pm #

@sara:

I think it is actually “life’s magic things in reach”

LYBIO.NET We Added your correction. Sounds Like “life’s magic things in reach” THANK YOU

cathy @ 8:12 pm #

I am 53 and I am learning slowly that it is okay to be alone, because alone doesn’t necessarily mean lonely. The video was beautiful, the words were truly heart felt. Thank you so much for sharing, you have made me a believer.

August 18, 2010

Wendy @ 9:07 pm #

Great poem, thanks! I’m recently divorced and have been deaf for about 3 years, the animation on the video gave me enough tid-bits that I wanted more and found the full poem here – glad I did. I’ve found that traveling is a great use for alone time – talking to statues in cities I’ve never visited before is a perfect description of how I spend my travel time! I spent a month on a group tour in Australia and honestly most of the best times I had were when I went off on my own. The group tour made sure I got to see and do so many things, but being deaf I felt more alone in the group than I did wandering about with my camera, at my own pace, and interacting with the locals instead of a group of young travelers. Snorkeling is a FANTASTIC alone activity – not lonely at all when you’re gliding along with a giant sea turtle for 20 minutes during its breakfast run. Life is good and though we need interaction sometimes sitting back and watching, paying attention, learning are far more satisfying than the inane conversation that we often partake in. Thanks so much for the poem, the animation, and the video. Great job!

August 23, 2010

Jim @ 7:36 am #

Thank You Tanya for putting into words the feeling I have had since becoming “ALONE”. I thought of it as a challenge to go out into public by oneself, but after a while, it became apparent that many of the “NOT ALONE” people are not happy. The feelings of freedom and not to have to compromise is wonderful. And all these ALONE lessons learned will not be forgotten when I do meet the special person. Thanks Much!

August 26, 2010

Brian T @ 8:44 pm #

Tanya Davis is such a treasure. I love her music, I love her prose, and her poetry, I love her messages and stories and I love her style!

February 15, 2011

stacey @ 10:37 am #

I used to enjoy so many things alone but i am now without a car and at 38 still stuck living at home.i spent 11 years with somebody and we lived here together.i wanted to live, laugh and desperately wanted to love again.it will be two years in june that i have been overwhelmed with trying to make a life.i spend day and night alone. I have no friends anymore. I wanted to get out and live and i tried and tried and got nowhere. I enjoyed reading your piece on being alone and wish it stopped my heart from breaking. I cant be in solitude any more. I am the type that

February 18, 2011

Maddylane @ 7:12 am #

Catherine MacLellan, Chris Gauthier and Tanya Davis…It was an outstanding show last night at the Hudson Village Theatre. Bravo!
Each song by the performers where story shares from the heart. For me what stood out the most was not a song but a poem, a poem by Tanya Davis, titled “How to be Alone”. Tanya Davis was brilliant and most captivating; everyone fell in love with her in four minutes because she is so endearing. That’s how long she says it takes to fall in love with someone. I love being alone, and I never feel lonely, it’s when I get most inspired. I just didn’t think other felt like this. She has mastered putting it all into words with the true meaning of being alone and loved every word of it. This should be shared with the whole world. If more people embraced their aloneness, people would demand less of each other, therefore everyone would get along more. My favorite quote from her moving poem was” loneliness is a freedom, loneliness is healing” .
Tanya, Thank you for coming to Hudson, Quebec :)

November 3, 2011

sharonlee @ 10:21 pm #

Hard to believe people would pick minor grammatical errors……when the overall creation is so moving and inspirational…..
I find the intent and substance of all your work speaks to me on many levels… your spoken word is stunning…

You moved this old poet deeply.

Sharonlee

January 7, 2012

Wendy Klope @ 9:32 pm #

It should read “all experience is unique” and “for this be relieved” Makes sense that way, doesn’t it? :-)

LYBIO.net . Thank you. We have added your corrections. Thank you Wendy Klope. Ya, your right it does make sense now.

April 28, 2012

MozartsMom @ 8:37 am #

When I was a member of a “singles” group being “alone” and being “lonely” were two different things. I have no problem with being “alone”. “lonely” I can take care of.

July 7, 2012

Ella @ 8:30 pm #

@cathy: Hey cathy. I’m 46 and just getting used to being alone. I feel a bit like a slow learner. I think it takes practice.

October 2, 2012

cat @ 5:22 pm #

Shouldn’t it be “might have never happened” instead of “might of never happened” ?

THANK YOU cat – we have included your contribution to online accuracy for reading, please see above for your review. LYBIO.NET

March 31, 2013

Anamericannotinparis @ 12:13 pm #

I found more spelling/grammar errors :

line 15 : “chow downers” should have a hyphen = chow-downers

line 21 : while being alone can sometimes feel like being in a hot “desert”, we should all enjoy our “dessert” after dinner.

line 21 : “whip cream” needs the past participle = whipped cream (because that is literally how it’s made, one must whip the cream so that it becomes “whipped cream”)

line 30 : “after-all” shouldn’t have a hypen, they are two separate words

lines 31+32 : “And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things. Down your back, like a book of blessings.” There should be a comma between “things” and “down” because it is continuing the idea of “beads of perspiration going down your back”

line 45 : “awhile” – separate a + while – “awhile” is an adverb which is not the case here – it is article + noun = a + while
line 47 : “maybe” is not correct in the context – it is the verb + infinitive, so it should be written = “may be”

I love this poem – I grew up being alone a lot and I learned how to revel in the loneliness of the world – wish I’d had thought of this first! 😉 Thank you for posting the text. :)

Anamericannotinparis @ 3:42 pm #

@sharonlee: I love this poem as well and in my comment I am thankful to be able to read the text online. However, no grammatical/spelling error is EVER minor. Especially since LYBIO is meant to help “improve reading skills”. The English language has been brutalized long enough by “minor” grammatical errors. Correcting grammar is nothing personal nor is it meant to harm anyone’s ego – it is simply to keep the beauty of the language. For example, it is like fingernails on a chalkboard when I hear everyone using “lay” and “lie” incorrectly (we tell the dog to “lie down” not “lay down”, however we “lay” a piece of paper on the table)…. No one seems to know the difference between “it’s” and “its”, “your” and “you’re”, “their” and “there”. For once, we can openly correct grammatical errors here so let’s not criticize it, please. Please, let’s keep the beauty of the English language and let’s stop butchering it by thinking that correct spelling and grammar are not important. Thank you :)

December 7, 2014

Jesus @ 4:28 pm #

@tina:

If you are at first lonely, be patient.If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

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