Key & Peele – Office Homophobe
The Accurate Source To Find Transcript To Key & Peele – Office Homophobe.”
[Key & Peele - Office Homophobe]
[rhythmic bass beat, sensual moans]
[keegan-michael key (latrel)]
What’s up, baby girl?
[jordan peele] Source: LYBIO.net
Can you please turn that off?
Why, you don’t like my music?
Is it music? Because it sounds like a bunch of sex noises over a bass line.
Oh. I get it. You don’t like my music ’cause i’m gay. You can’t handle a gay man’s music.
No, no, no. It’s–i’m trying to work here, and that music is weirdly sexual.
Oh, i see. So my sexuality is weird. You just can’t fathom a man being attracted to another man.
I can fathom it. It’s– can you just please listen to some other gay music, like Barbra Streisand or something–
Oh, i see, i see. Okay. So listening to Barbra Streisand is gay. Stereotype much?
So you seeing anybody lately?
Yeah, i-i mean, kind of. I think–
’cause i got it good last night. Oh, it was like, damn! I mean, my man was like, blop! Like, he had a baby arm holding on to a apple.
Aw, don’t call it a baby arm.
Aw. I see. So you can’t handle hearing about how i’m gay. I’m sorry.
You just referred to your boyfriend’s penis as a baby’s arm holding an apple.
[keegan-michael key] Source: LYBIO.net
Well, that’s what it looked like. And it’s not my boyfriend, by the way. And “anywhats,” you’re homophobic.
No, no, no. That’s not homophobic, okay? You’re explicitly talking about sexual things in the workplace.
Fine. There’s plenty of stuff that we can talk about. You know, uh, my penis cup, my scrotum cozies that i have been knitting recently– oh, with these knitting needles that i have just noticed look like little, skinny, purple penises, et cetera and et cetera.
Oh, my god.
Can I show you a picture, and then you tell me if it’s good for facebook?
Okay, i’m fairly certain you’re going to show me something overtly sexual.
Don’t you prejudge me! Here it is.
Agh! [bleep]! That’s a close-up of an anus.
Oh, no, that’s not an anus. That’s my anus, baby girl.
- oh, i see. So you don’t want to see a close-up picture of my anus ’cause you hate guy men.
No. I don’t want to look at a close-up picture of anyone’s anus.
Homophobe. Homophobe. There’s a homophobe right here. Ho– [blows whistle] homophobe alert! [high-pitched voice] homophobe!
[imitating siren wailing]
Hey, baby. How’s it going?
[gavin] Source: LYBIO.net
Ready to go to lunch?
Yeah. Uh, Latrell, this is Gavin. Gavin, this is Latrell. This is my boyfriend.
How you doing?
I’m–i’m– i’m doing very well. How–how are you doing, Gavin–Gavin?
Great. Want to go?
Nice to meet you.
No, trust me. It’s not.
No? – that’s the guy.
[keegan-michael key] Source: LYBIO.net
Oh… I get it. I’m not persecuted. I’m just a asshole. Ah.
Key & Peele – Office Homophobe. Can I show you a picture, and then you tell me if it’s good for Facebook? Complete Comedy Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.
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