David Mitchell – Dear America
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[David Mitchell - Dear America]
[David James Stuart Mitchell (July 14, 1974)] Source: LYBIO.net
Dear, Americans as you know everyone in Britain who knows The Queen and she’s asked me to have a quick word with you on her behalf about English. Don’t worry this isn’t the standard tedious British sneering about lieutenants and aluminum, essentially her message is use it how you like.
She doesn’t mind she doesn’t mind, she doesn’t mind about the sensible ones like spelling plow the way quite obviously should be spelled.
But, nor does she mind about the silly ones like saying tidbit because you think the syllable tit is intrinsically root. By all means leave the ‘U’ out of color if it bothers you.
I can quite see the bit of a car you put stuff in, looks more like a trunk than a boot.
And that sidewalks are a bit at the side you walk on. Fine says The Queen help yourself. She couldn’t care less she couldn’t care less though, not she could care less. That’s the one thing she’d really like you to stop saying because that as an expression for not all hardly caring just makes no sense.
If you could care less about something then all your telling us is that you do care at least a little bit
because you could care less. But if you couldn’t care less – look observe this graph.
[David Mitchell] Source: LYBIO.net
Here is me on the scale of caring. I’m at zero therefore since negative caring is impossible or rather simply caring of another sort – love and hate being different sides of the same coin et cetera. et cetera. – I couldn’t care less.
I could care more but I couldn’t care less.
If I could care less, I would have to care at least the smallest possible unit of caring in order to get myself room to care less.
I can’t care nothing if I could care less. But I might care much more than nothing. I could care anything from here; (30) to here (higher). And I can truthfully claims to be able to can less.
I could care less is absolutely useless as an indicator of how much you care because the only thing it rules out is that you don’t care at all which is exactly what you’re trying to convey.
So that’s the one thing I really want The Queen – really wants you to stop saying.
Although, while I’ve got you; The expression is: “Can you hold the fort?” Not hold down the fort.
If I ask you to hold the fort; the metaphor I’m employing is perfectly clear. You and I are in the fort together; holding out against the enemies of the
fort who were besieging the fort.
I now have to pop out of the fort a bit, to get some printed toner or take the cat to the vet.
While I do this, don’t worry about how I’ll get past the besieging enemy. I have a secret tunnel and a false beard.
While I do these I want you to hold the fort, so that when I come back, we’ll both still have the fort.
A perfectly reasonable metaphor embodying a sound military strategy.
If I ask you to hold down the fort. What the hell my talking about?
Hold down the fort while I go out, because as you know it’s inflatable hoover fort and once relieved of my weight it might float off into the sky.
Hold down the fort and when I get back; the two of us can tickle the fort. No. Meaningless.
Stop it, but those are the only two things.
[David Mitchell] Source: LYBIO.net
Stop doing those and you can say Research and Bernard to your hearts content. Although, herbs, really – you’re French now, are you? With your herbal tea and your herbal remedies. Well, fine whatever makes you [appy]. (ph) I could care less.
David Mitchell – Dear America. I could care less is absolutely useless as an indicator of how much you care. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.
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