Bill Maher Vs. The Pope

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[Bill Maher Vs. The Pope]

[William Maher, Jr] Source: LYBIO.net
It doesn’t feel better.

All right. New Rule: Stop doing this.

If you want to show me that you love me with your hands, I can think of a better way.

And that’s my truth again. And finally, New Rule: The news media has to stop all those ridiculous over the top coverage of The Virgin Bachelor. No, not that one. this one. [Pope]

[Bill Maher] Source: LYBIO.net
You know, I got to tell you, I’ve just about had it with the press squealing in the light at every mundane thing the New Pope does. Oh, look, he walked across the street. He picked the name, Francis. He shook hands. Oh, fuck. He is a 76 year old executive, who got a promotion. they act like he’s a baby who just made a boom-boom.

In his first tweet, the New Pope asked everybody to pray for him, and the media was blown away. “wow, prayer, I never saw that coming.” So out of the box, he is amazing. And did you hear, he used to ride the bus? It’s like we’re all suddenly living in a papal tabloid.

POPES, THEY’RE JUST LIKE US! They Like Riding With the Top Down!

They Enjoy Gossip!

They Put Up With Joe Biden!

Look, there are over a billion Catholics; just on the back of my gardener’s truck.

[Bill Maher] Source: LYBIO.net
So I get it, that this is a legitimate news story. But can we at least stop saying that the job of Pope is so hard, such a burden. no one would even want it. What? Okay. first of all, you’re selling an invisible product. It doesn’t get any easier than that.

No one is ever going to come back from the dead, and say, “Ah, it’s bullshit up there, there’s no heaven, it’s just an empty a lot”. Hard job? All the Pope does is talk, and everything you say is right by definition. And you’re there for life, talk about tenure. And what other business, could you be in where your company gets caught running a child sex ring since forever, and you still keep your customers.

[Bill Maher] Source: LYBIO.net
And that is the advantage of being around for 2000 years. You know people think, all the churches, rules and traditions come right from Jesus, but almost none of them do. The Catholic Church has basically always done what we do here at Real Time. It’s a bunch of guys, sitting around, making up new rules.

For example, new rule, confession, Jesus never said anything about confession, even thought of it. They pulled that out of their ass in the 12th century, just like they did with new rule. Women can’t be priests. That’s also not in the Bible. Neither is celibacy for priests. We didn’t have that until the fourth century. And even then, priests could still get married. They just couldn’t have sex like regular marriage.

Jesus also never said anything about a Pope, let alone that he should live in a palace and get carried around in a chair like Liz Taylor and Cleopatra.

[Bill Maher] Source: LYBIO.net
Or papal infallibility, another rectum-derived edict that came in the year 1870. It’s an eternal truth that’s 11 years younger than the escalator. I remember the new rule they made up when I was a little Catholic boy. Okay. First, we had, New Rule: “No meat on Fridays”. And then one day, and I do mean one day, the Pope went, “Uh, this just in. Hold on, I’m getting something. New Rule: Meat okay on Fridays!”

I mean, the whole thing is just so shamelessly made up as they go along. Oh, how about this whopper? New Rule: Not only does God have a son who is really him, but there’s also a Holy Ghost in there, and they’re all one person called the Trinity. A Catholic monk named Tertullian made up the Holy Ghost in the third century, and after that, it is true, I’d tell your religion, it’s like Wikipedia. Anyone can write something in.

All right, that’s our show. Thank you very much.

Bill Maher Vs. The Pope. I remember the new rule they made up when I was a little Catholic boy. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.