Jeff Dunham – Achmed The Dead Terrorist – Christmas Special

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[Jeff Dunham - Achmed The Dead Terrorist - Christmas Special]

[Jeff Dunham (April 18, 1962)] Source: LYBIO.net

Achmed The Dead Terrorist Source: LYBIO.net
Ive got a favor to ask of you, infidel.

Jeff Dunham
What?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
When were finished here, will you come caroling with me?

[laughter]

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
What?

Jeff Dunham
You go Christmas caroling?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Oh, yes. I love to Christmas carol.

Jeff Dunham
Like, what do you sing?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Umm… “Bin Laden is Coming to Town.”

[laughter]

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
“O Holy Crap.”

[laughter]

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
[To The tune Of "O Holy Night"] Oh, holy crap. I think I blew my foot off. [laughter]

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
And then my favorite: “SILENCE! Night.” [laughter]

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Thank you. And then Ive got another one: “Jingle Bombs.” Would you like me to sing “Jingle Bombs”?

Jeff Dunham
You can sing?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Oh, yes.

Jeff Dunham Source: LYBIO.net
All right. What the heck?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Like I need some music.

Jeff Dunham Source: LYBIO.net
Music?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
I have guitar guy. Guitar guy, guitar guy come out on (stage)

Guitar Guy Source: LYBIO.net
(strums the electric guitar)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Oh listen to that!

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Back stage he was doing drugs, I know he was.

Guitar Guy Source: LYBIO.net
(strums the electric guitar again)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Ah ha ha ha ha! Hello guitar guy.

Guitar Guy
(strums the electric guitar (E Minor) again)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
I love you rock n’ roll and by the way thanks for dressing like crap for my show. So sad! Hahahaaa. He don’t know he does drugs. Okay let’s see what you got guitar guy

Guitar Guy
(plays)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist Source: LYBIO.net
You racist bastard!
Is that what you think I like?
Hey you know the Xbox game “Guitar Hero”?
Haha I kick your ass

Guitar Guy
(plays)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Ok maybe a “Halo”…

Jeff Dunham
Alright Achmed so you have the song?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Yes, “Jingle bombs” okay. Hey guitar guy give me my note

Guitar Guy
(plays)

It sounds like a car wreck. Do that again!

Guitar Guy
(plays)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Be quiet! Do it again!

Guitar Guy
(plays)

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
You got it?

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Yeah!

Ooooh dashing through the sand
With a bomb stuck to my bag
I have a nasty plan
For Christmas in Iraq
I got through checkpoint A
But not through checkpoint B
That’s when I got shot in the ass
By the US military
Source: LYBIO.net

[laughing / screams]

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
It’s not funny

Oooh Jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see
Where are all the virgins
That Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh Jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Your soldiers shot me dead
The only thing that I had left
Is this towel upon my head

I used to be a man
But everytime I cough
Thanks to Uncle Sam
My nuts keep fallin’ off

My bombing days are done
I need to find some work
Perhaps it would be much safer
As a convenience store night clerk

Oooh jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed
Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead
Or I KIIIILLLL YOUUUUUU

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
I KILL YOUUUU

Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Thank you guitar guy. Go backstage and do your drugs now! Merry Christmas

Jeff Dunham Source: LYBIO.net
And that’s Achmed the dead terrorist. There we go!

Jeff Dunham – Achmed The Dead Terrorist – Christmas Special. “Jingle bombs” okay. Hey guitar guy give me my note. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.