Lisa Lampanelli – Take It Like A Man

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[Lisa Lampanelli - Take It Like A Man]

[Lisa Lampanelli (born Lisa Lampugnale, July 19, 1961)] Source: LYBIO.net
You know, oh my god, look at this, Hector and then a black guyand a bald headed bastard, oh, my god, looking at the head reminds me to go home and clean my dildo. That’s not true, mine’s black. Anyway. Oh, that’s right bitches, you know me, I bang a lot of black guys that’s my thing, that’s right son, son, and it ain’t by choice but I haven’t lost enough weight to get a white guy to fuck me that’s the problem. White devils with your skinny bitches I gotta put up with that. Cause black guys enjoy the badonkadonk son. Isn’t that right? Even though you are kind of a white black guy like Bill Cosby black, you know a black guy with white features, like a job and a cell phone, you never see that, that must be some PRE_PAID_SHIT_MUTHERFUCKER! Pre-paid. Pre-paid. Pre-paid. But black guys are cool they do like the big ass, my black boyfriend says the bigger the cushion the sweeter of a pushin, bull, he just wants something to hide behind when the cops starts shooting. Cause once you go black the cops will attack. How you doing Hector puppy? Conio. Love that spik, I always wanted to bang one of you bastards but my parents were old fashioned racists Italians and you know the old saying, once you go Hispanic ohhh hoooo mom and dad start to panic. Well because you steal. Anyways, but you guys are a good crowd, this is a ten o’clock crowd, even if it’s 8 o’clock people, this is cool, even you with your queer looking head, and you a nice older bitch like this enjoys me. See, but, you know I mean that in a good way, cause let me tell you something, women like her, usually hate me, cause I’m dirty, I’m loud, I’m rude, they’re always those soccer mom types who come to see me, hoping I’ll be a female comic, you know what I mean, who talks about PMS and dating, shut up, you dirty Tuat, lick it. Source: LYBIO.net So women sometimes come out, you know that type of bitch soccer mom, between the ages of 35 and cunt arrrrgh! They have to stare at me and be all mean, right? Like, oh my god? She is the reason we have school shootings. Which is not true, it’s the blacks, now, that’s obviously a joke based on a stereotype blacks do not go to school. Screw you Hector, like you’ve seen the inside of a Escuela, well that time you were sweeping it. I’m joking he doesn’t work. Come on, vampires do more during the day then a friggin Hispanic. Once you go Rican in a job you will be go seeking. He’s so cute, man, I’m glad you’re here, man, you’re cool, what’s your name Pedro – Nick, Nick is a Spik, I like that. It rhymes, I frigging love that man. And you’re cool, I love guys who can take a joke.

[Lisa Lampanelli] Source: LYBIO.net
My feeling is, this is a comedy club, if you can’t take a joke leave. So how are you two faggits, what’s up? Oh, my god, look how gay they look, isn’t that adorable, and you see, that is what comedy is about, two secure guys corn-holing on stage right. And see how they can take a joke. An insecure guy can not take a joke am I right please, oh my god, if I called this guy a fag he’d like screw you bitch. Which means, you secretly want his tea-bags on your nose. But who doesn’t ladies and gentleman – and that’s why you are gonna get laid you two, and the rest of these bastards won’t, when you go home and you’re beating your d^ck like an Iraqi prisoner, no offense to any Middle Eastern here, no Middle Eastern here, cause I don’t smell anything. Are you here you stinky bastards, they stink, when are those cab drivers learn that curry ain’t deodorant, strong enough for a man and made for a Hindu Princess, but you two will be getting laid, cause some beautiful women, probably the whores you’re with will come up to you and they’ll be like, you know that was so nice – when that bitch was calling you gay, you didn’t get mad, I love you ahhhh!!!~~ (throats the microphone) A black guy, liked that joke, let’s be honest that’s why they date us white bitches, right? Shinika! Black women will not suck a D^ck unless they hit the lottery, ain’t that right? Am I right, girl? I don’t blame you honey, cause when I date a black guy they won’t go down there for shit. I had to grow a chicken wing down there. Source: LYBIO.net Don’t you laugh Hector, I dated one of you, all they did was rummage around looking for spare change. Never let a Chinese go down on you, they just leave a menu between your legs, how they get the bicycle down there I have no friggin idea – oh oh, any Chinese here? Screw it, lets’ talk about them.

Lisa Lampanelli – Take It Like A Man. My feeling is, this is a comedy club, if you can’t take a joke leave. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.