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Bill Cosby – Dentists
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[Bill Cosby - Dentists]
[William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr. (July 12, 1937)] Source: LYBIO.net
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp, metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook. And they start to pick in an area that you came to get fixed!
And I found out something about myself while the dentist was doing that. I found out that if I was ever paralyzed from the knee down, Iâ€™d be able to walk with my behind! Because the whole time he kept doing that, I just kept â€¦
â€œCan you sit up?â€
â€œIâ€™m sorry. I beg your pardon.â€
â€œIâ€”Iâ€™m sorry, I â€¦â€
Now the dentist pulls out a needle. This is to deaden the pain. You open up. Now, a regular doctor giving you a shot would go and thatâ€™s it. Dentists donâ€™t do that.
They go â€¦ and youâ€™re there —.
Then they want to talk to you!
â€œDo you ever do any fishing?â€
â€œWhere do you usually go?â€
â€œYes, Iâ€™ve been there many times myself.â€
Now he pulls the needle out. Puts this thing in your mouth. This will suck up your face. The dentist goes outside to laugh at you. Now you sit, grown-up, intelligent human being, arguing with this thing. You also notice that the right side of your face feels like itâ€™s sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap.
So the dentist comes back; you want to talk to him. So you, you say, â€œIâ€™be b-been wunderbingâ€¦â€
â€œI beg your pardon?
â€œ I saibded, â€˜Iâ€™be b-b-been wubderbing abbowdt myb face.â€
â€œI donâ€™t understand.â€
â€œMyb face. Myb face! Do you see mybe face?â€
â€œEfbb-abe-ceeb-ee â€“ Myb faceb! Canb you seeb myb face?â€
â€œWhatâ€™s the matter with it?â€
â€œBwhabâ€™s theb matterb wid it? Myb face, myb face isb hanging down â€¦ Do you seeb dis? Dissb, dissb is myb bottomb lip. It wasbnâ€™t like thisb when Ib came inb here.â€
â€œWell, Iâ€™ll fix it.â€
â€œI hobe so. Becauseb see, you put ab needle in my moutâ€™ , myb face ran down like dis, myb bottom blip is on dee floâ€™. So I canâ€™t lib wib it libe this now.â€
â€œIâ€™ll fix it.â€
Now he starts to drill. And you see and smell â€“ smoke! — coming out of your mouth!. So you say, â€œWaib a minute!â€
â€œWhatâ€™s the matter?â€
â€œSmoke! Smoke, smoke, smoke! Therbeâ€™s is somb smok coming out ob myb mouth!â€
â€œI donâ€™t understand.â€
Looks exasperated, â€œFi-re! Do youb understand â€˜Fire!â€™? Thereâ€™s ab fire in myb mouth and theb smoke is com-bing out because the fire. And myb faceb is hanging on the floâ€™!â€ â€œThe fire?â€
Rolling eyes, â€œNebber minâ€™, nebber minâ€™!â€
Now he drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing, â€œOkay, rinse!â€ Looking incredulous, â€œRib-binse? You asked me to rib-binse? I donâ€™t habâ€™ a bottom lip, how canb I rib-binse?â€
â€œGive it a try.â€
â€œGib it a try. Oooh-kayb!â€
Grab the cup, pour the water, and it runs all downâ€¦ â€œI hobe that youb are satisfibed! I hobe that youb are sat-is-fibed!!! I put the wabber in my mouth, I told you I coubbent rib-binse becausb I hab no bottom-b lip. The wabber is all dowb in myb lap! I hobe that youb are satisfibed!â€
â€œYoube got toob be kiddingb me!â€
So you pick it up, put it in.
Now, youâ€™re going to spit it into this miniature toilet bowl. You have no bottom lip, so you let it all fall out and say, thank God for gravity. Now you want to sit back, but you canâ€™t, because â€¦ hanging from your bottom lip â€¦ is a long line â€¦ and you canâ€™t get it off your bottom lip. Oh, if you want to be gross, you can grab it and throw it over thereâ€¦ But you try to be smooth about it you know – and itâ€™s breaking over here, and itâ€™s breaking over there. You try to blow it off brrrhhh brrrrvvvh. Itâ€™s just vibrating. So you figure, maybe if you just sit back, itâ€™ll snap in half. So you sit back, now you have a line from the bowl to your bottom lip. The dentist looks at it and says, â€œOh, look! A rainbow!â€ See, you have to pay him for that. I didn’t come here to tell you that. Source: LYBIO.net
Bill Cosby – Dentists. I didn’t come here to tell you that. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.
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