Ed Byrne Slates Alanis Morissette

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[Ed Byrne Slates Alanis Morissette]

[Alanis Morissette - Ironic]

[Ed Byrne (born 16 April 1972)] Source: LYBIO.net
Does anyone wanna talk about music? Does anyone here like Alanis Morissette? Oh oooo, there’s a definite about there, yes indeed. I’m trying to get laid oh ooooooo. Don’t slag Alanis she speaks for the voice of dis-effective woman! Ummm, she’s a moaning cow! She is, even people who like Alanis Morissette have to admit she is a Wingin binde. Honestly! It’s not fair. Oh, you moaning cow, Jesus! No wonder he left you, god sake! Who ___ on Ironic, remember that one, isn’t it Ironic? No! It’s not! Ask me another. She naming all these things in the song that were supposed to Ironic and none of them were. They were all just unfortunate. The song should of been called unfortunate, how’s that. The only Ironic thing about that song is that its called Ironic and it’s written by a woman who doesn’t know what Irony is! That’s Ironic, if you think about it. She should of called the song pwwwahhh – that would of been a good name. Now I wouldn’t know how you’d spell it. But it would of been a good name. Here’s Alanis Morissette with her new single “pwwwahhh”, taken from her album “nuuuuuww”. Source: LYBIO.net

[Ed Byrne] Source: LYBIO.net
Could you look at some of the lyrics, like, a traffic jam when you’re already late. That’s not Ironic, that’s a pain in the hole, is it? When was the last time you were late for something and got stuck in a traffic jam and thought, look at the irony on this eh, there’s irony for you. I tell you, I was in a fierce ironic traffic jam the other day, oh my… oh the irony was ninety. No! Isn’t it ironic that I’ve been stuck in traffic jam when you’re late for something? Oh, unless you are a town planner. If you were a town planner and you were late for a seminar of town planners as which you are giving a talk on how you solve the problem of traffic congestion in your area, couldn’t get to it, cause you got stuck in a traffic jam – that would be well ironic, wouldn’t that – Lads, I’m sorry I missed it ________, maybe that’s what you meant. It’s like rain rain on your wedding day. Oh, only if you are getting married to a weather man and he set the date. He set it. No smoking sign on your cigarette break. That’s inconsiderate office management (inaudible) A no smoking sign in a cigarette factory is irony, that’s not a difficult concept, Alanis. It’s very rare that you see an ironic no smoking sign. Although have you ever seen one of those that says: “Thank you for not smoking”. And you are. Very ironic when that happens, I suppose.

[Ed Byrne] Source: LYBIO.net
But the best line in that song, the best line ever written ever, has got to be the line: “It’s like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife.” That’s not ironic, that’s just stupid. How big is your sink, Alanis? Really? We haven’t got 10,000 spoons between us, have we folks? What do you need this knife for? To stab the bastard that keeps leaving spoons all over your house. Which we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. We’ll give her the benefit cause you like her. We will. Imagine if you needed a knife of something, and couldn’t find one cause all you found was 10,000 spoons. (audience laughs) Source: LYBIO.net Could happen! And therefore, you couldn’t do whatever it was you needed the knife for. And the next day it turned out that the spoon would of done. (audience laughs) You’re only taking the led of a ten a page, could of used a spoon for that, you d^ck! 10,000 of the bastards!? That’s ironic, hey! Don’t you think! A little too ironic, don’t you think! I’m glad you’s are laughing at that, I did a gig a while back in High Wingham which is a lovely place, if anybody’s watching, but nonsense, there’s nobody (audience laughs)

[Ed Byrne] Source: LYBIO.net
Well-I-don’t- I was talking about Alanis Morisette and I’ve done these jokes before, ah, no, it’s not all on top of me head, no, no! (audience laughs) This women got really arsy with me, cause she was a big Alanis Morissette fan and really got the hump, and I got that bit about 10,000 spoons and she decided I was being a little bit too picky. So she decides to have a “Go”. And goes: “Well, its a metaphor”. EEEuuuww, which is great, cause I was able to say to her: “No”. Because she says: “It’s like 10,000 spoons”. Which means it’s a simile. (audience laughs) Ah, ah, ah! Can you feel that, oh!~~~ I was wearing the clever trousers that night, let me tell you. Who would of thought knowing the difference between a metaphor and a simile come in handy one day! Next thing you know I’m gonna find use for log tables in me act. I’m not joking! Anyways, listen, you have been absolutely lovely I’m Ed Byrne, thank you very much.

Ed Byrne Slates Alanis Morissette. The best line ever written ever, has got to be the line: “It’s like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife.” That’s not ironic, that’s just stupid. How big is your sink, Alanis? Really? Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.