Stephen Merchant Presents – If We Won – Newcastle Brown Ale
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[Stephen Merchant Presents – If We Won – Newcastle Brown Ale]
[Stephen James Merchant (November 24, 1974):] Source: LYBIO.net
Oh! Happy 4th of July America. Ready to fire up the grill and celebrate our victory over the Brits? Well, I’m not, because despite that incredibly convincing American accent, I’m one of those Brits. Now, I’ve acted in film and TV for years. But my greatest performance is acting like I don’t care that every summer you gobbled down – chew sausages and celebrate kicking our asses or butts as you say incorrectly.
Do you really still have to celebrate your emancipation from us? I mean that’s like your girlfriend breaking up with you and then celebrating with fireworks, every year for three hundred years. It gets my goat, but what really gets my goat is imagining how great America would be if we were still in-charge. Oh! America, if we won the war, you would have better comedy, news, TV programs, and way better rude words. Oh! I’m talking fanny, trollop, minger, tar, minch bag, bleeding, soldering, blooming, cock top, get stuffed, and of course wanker.
Imagine how sophisticate you would say when you are insulting someone. Oye Brad, your wife’s a slag now piss off you wanker. See how classy that sounded. With our accents and your American self confidence, you would be unstoppable. Yeah, you would have to pay a few more taxes, but you can’t put a price on that. Great Britain II would be the greatest country on earth. Your lawyers would all wear powdered wigs, so criminals really respect them. And you would have all the mushy peas you can stuff down your bloody great gobs.
[Stephen Merchant:] Source: LYBIO.net
Oh! And if you get sick, you don’t need to worry about medical insurance, because with the National Health Service a doctor will see you for free in about two years.
Plus, your taxes would be spent on things you really need. Like a royal family, who do the tough jobs no one else wants to do like being driven around in a really nice car, while, waving. You all want to eat some apple pie then shoot some hoops and have a hoedown [fuckin] bollocks.
This July 3rd, grab a Newcastle Brown Ale and toast to how great it could have been, if we won.
Stephen Merchant Presents – If We Won – Newcastle Brown Ale. This July 3rd, grab a Newcastle Brown Ale and toast to how great it could have been, if we won. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.