ShaneDawsonTV2 – Hot Emo Chick – Ask Shane #24
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[ShaneDawsonTV2 – Hot Emo Chick – Ask Shane #24]
[WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
[Shane Dawson (born Shane Yaw, July 19, 1988)]
Its ask Shane on Mondays!
[Shane Dawson Parody Spoof of “Complicated” is a song by Avril Lavigne and was her debut single, released in 2002 from her debut album, Let Go.]
Lifes’ like this
That’s the way it is!
La la la la
La la la la
That’s the way it is!
Chill lut, what you yellin boot
Lay back, look at my butt crack
And I like to wear a tie and I’m really cool with my raccoon eyes.
I look like a lesbian
Spikey belt and pants that’s made for men
And if you take them down, you will see a bonsai tree
I don’t wear a bra
I’m from Canada
I hate Britney Spears
I’m drunk off of beers
I have greasy hair
And I don’t care about hygiene
Why have to go and make things so complicated
I acted like a 12 year old b*** who just started menstruating
And now I’m changing
I wear weaves
And now I look just like Kesha
What happened to the old me?
Oh, no, no, no
Yes boys and girls, I am old school Avril Lavigne back when she was a p.m.s.-ing raccoon eyed bi***. And back when I was in love with her. And also back when I was in Middle School. Yes, middle school, what a horrible time, so I decided why not share my horrible time with the rest of the world. So this weeks Ask Shane is all about my experience in (air-guitar) Middle School. Source: LYBIO.net That sounded just like her, I should be be a pop star, no wait, I don’t s*ck enough. So the first question was from Beka, she wants to know, hey, Shane, what song do you remember most from middle school? Hum, that depends, does it count, if its a song if a bunch of jocks standing around singing: Fat piece of sh*t, Fat piece of sh*t, Fat piece of sh*t, cause if it was, that was definitely the number one hit at my school. Then if it doesn’t I would have to say Avril Lavigne: “Complicated”. Hence, the reason I am dressed up as this Canadian b***. Source: LYBIO.net
Angela wants to know: “Shane what was your stereotype?” I’d say my stereotype was a nerd but I didn’t really look like a nerd, I looked more like a fat lesbian. A fat lesbian that used to be metal detected before they walked into school. I mean, what did they think, I was carrying a gun? That is crazy! (hold a gun). Rohit wants to know: “Shane how was your first dance?” So, I’m going to try to be as politically correct as I can with this next story but its going to be tough. I was in a program called: “best buddies”. Best buddies was a program where a kid from the normal class would ah, go to the not normal class, ooo that sounds bad. Special class. The Magic Class. Okay, the retarded class. Alright, I’m just gonna say it, so they would go to that class and they would pick a buddy, my buddy was a seven foot tall 35 year old black man named Chanile, or the teacher liked to call him Mike Tyson. Why? You’ll figure that out in a minute. Now, I don’t know why, but I always felt this special connection with these kids, and that’s why I joined the club. Its probably because I was an outcast in school and they were like even bigger outcasts. Source: LYBIO.net So when I’d walk in, I’d be like, yah, I may look like a fat lesbian and people throw pizza at me, but, I’m cooler than you guys. When in reality most of them were cooler and better looking than me. But whatever, back to my story. So I didn’t know that part of the best buddy program is that you had to take your buddy to the school dance, yah, taking a black man, four times my size with a beard was definitely helping with all the gay rumors. So when we got there he decided to head straight to the dance floor, so we get to the center of the gym and a Backstreet Boys song starts to play, oddly enough, Chanile did not like Backstreet Boys and it caused him to become incredibly violent, that’s when he romantically throw me on the floor and straddled my back and bit my neck like a big black vampire. Three Tetanus shots and five therapy sessions later I was okay. No, best buddies was a great program, I actually stayed in after that and became like the President. And Chanile was my Dick Cheney. I called him my big black d***. He didn’t think that was very funny and decided to bit me again.
Which brings me to my next question which is from Zachary, who wants to know: “Shane, what advice would you give to somebody going into Middle School?” I think the one advice I’ll give is something somebody would of given me: “Don’t take anything seriously.” When I look back at Middle School, and I think about all these bad things I went through, half of them aren’t even that bad, I was completely over reacting, I mean, I would go home crying all the time, somebody called me fat.(cries) I laughed too hard and peed my pants in-front of everybody, I farted in class and everybody knew it was me because I had Doritos earlier and it totally smelt like them, because when you grow up and look back, its like nobody even cared, I mean, I really had a really bad bladder, like really bad, I would pee the bed at home, and then when I got to school, I would laugh really hard and pee my pants and I would spend the whole rest of the day trying cover it up and have anxiety freaking out! Source: LYBIO.net When in reality I could of went to the office and: “Yo, b*** pissed my pants, give me a new pair.” And nobody would of cared. So that’s my advice, don’t take it too seriously! Just remember every bad event or humiliating experience is just adding to a great collection of comedy. So, keep a journal and write down every funny thing that happens because believe me later you are gonna look back laugh. Unless the teacher tries to rape you. Cause that’s not that funny. Alright you guys, I’m gonna go, have a good week, leave me a question, maybe I’ll answer it, leave me a costume, maybe I’ll wear it, and I’ll see you guys (air-guitar) next Monday, I feel, like instead of kissing my hand and touching the camera, I should do something more Avril: “See you guys later” (fists up) Source: LYBIO.net
ShaneDawsonTV2 – Hot Emo Chick – Ask Shane #24. So that’s my advice, don’t take it too seriously! Just remember every bad event or humiliating experience is just adding to a great collection of comedy. So, keep a journal and write down every funny thing that happens because believe me later you are gonna look back laugh. Complete Full Text, Written Words, Reader, Full Script, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Song, Words And Text By ShaneDawsonTV2 – Hot Emo Chick – Ask Shane #24.