Rob Cantor – Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf
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[Rob Cantor – Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf]
You’re walking in the woods
There’s no one around and your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him…
He’s following you about 30 feet back
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
He’s gaining on you!
You’re looking for your car but you’re all turned around
He’s almost upon you now
And you can see there’s blood on his face..
My God, there’s blood EVERYWHERE!
Running for your live.
From Shia LaBeouf
He’s brandishing a knife.
It’s Shia LaBeouf
Lurking in the Shadows
Living in the woods..
Killing for sport
Eating all the bodies..
Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him..
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded With a murderer.
You creep silently through the underbrush
In the distance.
A small cottage with a light on HOPE
You move stealthily toward it
BUT YOUR LEG
It’s caught in a bear trap!
Gnawing off your leg
Limping to the cottage
Now you’re on the doorstep
Sharpening an axe
But he doesn’t hear you enter..
You’re sneaking up behind him..
Fighting for your life with
Wrestling a knife
Stab it in his kidney
Safe at last
You limp into the dark woods..
Blood oozing from your stump leg
But you’ve won
You have beaten..
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