Pete Holmes – Ex-Men – Rogue
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[Pete Holmes – Ex-Men – Rogue]
[Peter Benedict “Pete” Holmes (March 30, 1979]
Well, Rouge, um…this is never easy, but I’m shit-canning you.
And as a happy byproduct, have your termination, we do lose that annoying southern charm.
[Rouge:] Source: LYBIO.net
You’re firing me, because of my accent?
Oh! Yeah Uish, insurance is the through the roof, and having an unintentional energy vampire just going around touching shit. It’s not going to work for the next quarter.
Look, I’ve been a good friend of this team.
Yeah, too good on many occasions. How many times do I have to send someone to the infirmary, just because you couldn’t resist a kiss. I can’t have people dying, just because you are lonely, you can’t touch people. Stop it! If I couldn’t touch people, I’d wear oven mitts and a T-shirt that says “Death upon touching” you wear like sexy boots and strut around.
It’s not my fault.
Oh! There is something I can’t remember about what I’m supposed to do and not do. So why don’t you come over here under the willow tree and give me a big wet kiss on my honey, honey lips, whoops you are dead, right that’s it. How do I keep forgetting that?
I mean I wish I could control my powers.
[Pete Holmes:] Source: LYBIO.net
Yes, and I wish I could walk, is wish time, how long does this go? Are we done with the Aladdin just found Genie moment? Because wishes don’t come true, unless the wish was to get your ass out of here, in which case it’s Christmas. If you do see hair dye ma’am, go ahead take the glove off and touch him and let him die, because inside of the whole bride of Frankenstein thing high-five. JK, it would kill me. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure you can get work being a Bonnie Raitt look like at a shoe store opening in a mall. I can kill you with my mind.
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Pete Holmes – Ex-Men – Rogue. I mean I wish I could control my powers. Complete Comedy Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.