Patrice O’Neal – Elephant In The Room – How To Tell How Pretty A White Woman Is
The Accurate Source To Find Transcript To Patrice O’Neal – Elephant In The Room – How To Tell How Pretty A White Woman Is.”
[Patrice O’Neal – Elephant In The Room – How To Tell How Pretty A White Woman Is]
[Patrice Lumumba Malcolm O’Neal (December 7, 1969 – November 29, 2011)]
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m thanking one in particular– pair of titties in the front row. Thank you so much. Thank you, audience coordinator, for putting those titties up in the front row. God bless you. Ha ha ha! Those are distracting me. I was supposed to come out, Henh. Meh. Meh, meh. Meh, yeah. Oh, y’all here? Yeh, huh, meh. [growls] You look lovely, though, by the way. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Congratulations, my friend. I’m glad y’all here. It’s very good. Yo, congratulations to you, my friend. Look at that white woman you’re with. God damn! THAT [bleep] BEHIND YOU Going, “yeah, son, I’m with my girl, ” that white woman’s amazing, isn’t she? Tell the truth! He’s with his black girlfriend, like, “naw, I don’t– ” but that, she’s high level. That’s a high-level white woman right there. That white woman is– that is– man, oh, man, oh, man! Black woman get mad at that. But that is top-shelf white woman right there.
[Patrice O’Neal] Source: LYBIO.net
You know how you can tell how pretty a white woman is, the value? You look at her and then you wonder how long they would look for her if she was missing. C’mon, take a look, take a look. Look. Look. Look. Whoohoo! I saw you look at your man sweetie! How long you think they will? Exactly! She don’t even! You know the deal! I ain’t saying nothing wrong! White woman’s life is valuable. What’s his name? Joran van der Sloot? we find out he’s a serial killer! Man he kills women. That’s what he do! He do it well! Y’all know what I mean. We know the girl that he you know, supposedly had what’s the girl in Arruba? Natalee Holloway! right? But the one he just killed in Peru? What’s her name? [finger snap] Exactly! ha ha! [laughter]
Look how fast you said, you said [singing] Natalie Holloway, that angel! Y’all said that like Family Feud! Alright name that white girl that’s been missing for 5 years! Natalie Holloway! Survey said! Name a Peruvian girl that was killed yesterday!
What is that big head, third world, Peruvian bitch’s name? Has to be Yodis or something goofy!
Don’t get mad at yourself. I gave it to you. You saw how fast she said Natalee Holloway. Diana Ross right here said Nat– she knew her name! Ha! [hoarse feminine voice] “That white girl ” remember football players in Miami went missing? They went sailing. They looked for them .. Maybe. They just sent somebody at the edge of the beach. “I don’t– “I don’t see ’em. “We have to call off the search “’cause there’s too much sun. “Uh, this sun, “the conditions .. “If I go sailing, I’m taking a white baby on a key chain with me. Ha ha! If my boat go down, they gon’ find me. I’ma have it hooked right to the side of my belt. And I’ma dress the baby real white too. I’ma, uh, put sweatpants on it and a pair of ugg boots, and I’ma take a picture. Look at this white baby. You don’t come get me, this white baby goin’ down with me.
[Patrice O’Neal] Source: LYBIO.net
I hate how much fun black people can have racially, man.
It’s just– I can say anything I goddamn want, racially.
And white people have to sit there and take it.
I am evil yes, come on, man.
Let’s be fair.
I mean– [sighs] I’d like to talk to the white people about being honest about, uh, Obama.
You gave it a shot.
You gave it a two-year shot.
Like, “oh, yeah, I tried.
I tried to– we tried to–” I’m mad at him ’cause I thought I would have a white slave by now.
I thought– I thought it was vengeance day.
Thought I’d have me a white family.
Big ol’ fat white girl gon’ warm my bed up.
Get upstairs, Susan.
Warm my bed up.
Feed my baby with your giant white titties.
And I’m gonna go outside “and stare your husband in the face and decide whether to sell him or not, you know your wife’s upstairs, “warmin’ up my bed. You know that, right? Philip. “that’s uncomfortable, ain’t it? That’s uncom– that’s uncomfortable. I apologize. That’s uncomfortable.
And neither is Dr Pepper TEN.
23 Flavors from 10 Manly Calories.
It’s what guys want. Like this!
[cheers and applause] – I’M OLD AS A [bleep]. I’m old. Like, I can’t type. But I didn’t realize how important typing was till right now.
I [bleep] UP All my good typing years calling people gay who was going to typing class. It was, like, me and six other dudes, like, “what you doing, typ– “you wanna be a secretary? What the–? “What kinda pussy–? “Man, man, come on, man. We used to go steal bread and lunch meat from the supermarket and make sandwiches and sell ’em during typing class. Ha ha haha – And now I can’t type. If you can’t type and you try to be in a world with people who can, you–you– you feel irrelevant. You stop, you know? You say hello to some woman on the internet. And she come back with the seven-page memo. Like, “hello,” whap! You be like, really? For real? All those words? You saw me type and I yelled it, evidently. I–in big letters, it was saying hello. Really? seriously? You think I said, “hello! hiiii, bitch! HIIIII! “Is that what you think I did, for real? Yeah, really? Can’t spell.
Like, I can’t spell– if I had to spell “restaurant,” to this day, right, to save my mama’s life, .. Like if somebody held my mama hostage and had a gun to her head, right? And says, “[bleep], SPELL RESTAURANT. “Man, I will– I’ma shoot your mother ” I’d be like–I would look at my mother like, “uh, I love you. You better look at me mom, she crying – understand that I– I love you with all my heart” “STOP STALLIN’, [bleep]!” “Okay, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right. R.E.S.T. – Oh, my god. Here’s where it gets– oh, Jesus Christ.
There’s a ooh– it’s a ooh–uh– rest-ooh.
“A’ight, gimme another– “gimme another word, man.
“Gimme another word, one more word.
“Just give my mother a chance to live.
God da– “banana”?
A’ight, banana, banana.
B-a-n– b-a-n-n– a-n-n-n– is it–ain’t there, like, SEVEN “N”s IN “BANANA”?
Video Ends Here.
I’m, uh, irrelevant, you know.
You a football fan?
All your– your whole life?
You notice how football’s wack now?
Things are changing.
It seems like– look, this–this may be old thinking, okay?
Now, when I came up– you a football fan?
That’s a–like– he’s not.
Like, what dude, like– that shocked me.
Like, dudes are football fans.
[effeminate voice] “Oh, I don’t.
“like– like– ..
It’s not like the game it– when I came up, dude, football was a gla– it was gladiators.
It was angry.
It was angry.
It was just– like, when we hit somebody, when I played, if you hit somebody and he didn’t get up, like, we didn’t hold hands with the– with the other team and pray.
Like, hold hands and all– everyone prays for him to get up.
We used to do a Indian, like, sell a hump dance circle around him, like, “man, look at you.
“[barking] I be like– and our crowd’s like, ♪ he’s para-lyzed ♪
[barking] We be lookin’ for his mother crying, be like, “that’s right, lady.
“That’s what you get for lettin’ him out here “with killers.
“He can’t even wiggle his toes.
“Take his socks.
“and we would tie his socks around our helmet for the next week’s– like, the next team.
They knew, “awww, that’s the team “that be tyin’ PARALYZED [bleep] SOCKS Around they helmets ” and then– ..
we were thinking about harming somebo– it’s just, that’s what we did.
Patrice O’Neal – Elephant In The Room – How To Tell How Pretty A White Woman Is. If I go sailing, I’m taking a white baby on a key chain with me. Ha ha! If my boat go down, they gon’ find me. Complete Comedy Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.