Olivia Penpraze’s Video
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[Olivia Penpraze’s Video]
[Olivia Penpraze] Source: LYBIO.net
I suck at introduction, and I don’t even know where to start! I guess my name is Liv, and I guess I look like your normal happy teenager 🙂 I wish I was… but I’m far from happy… and normal. I’m great at hiding all my problems, and I wear the best fake smile 24/7 so no one knows how much I’m suffering inside. None of my friends know anything about me – They fall for my fake smiles and laughs. They believe i’m FINE. I want people to know the truth because I can’t hide it anymore. So here goes nothing… I have been severely depressed since 2007. I started to self-harm by 2008 and also made my first suicide attempt. I was in year 10 and no one noticed. I had stopped eating and was diagnosed with anorexia weighing around 39 kgs. no on had noticed.
During the start of 2008 I began to see a ghost like figure, who eventually turned into a person, my best friend, Bree 🙂 But she is not really real. In 2009 I had dropped out of school, and spent every day crying, wishing and praying to die. I don’t remember 2009, I don’t remember why. By 2010 I tried to go back to school, but my depression was too much for me to handle. And from then, that’s when the serious suicide attempts began. I have attempted suicide more times than I can count. Here’s a handful of my hospital bracelets from last year. Just because I’ve failed to kill myself doesn’t make me weak, it doesn’t make me pathetic or an attention seeker. And if you’ve failed too, it doesn’t make you any of these things either. You are strong, you are brave and you will get through this. I promise â™¥ I had started to suffer from paranoia, delusions and hallucinations, I was terrified for my life, I couldn’t stop worrying, I couldn’t make the voices stop. They’re the evil people. And they have been trying to kill me since, and they’ve only been getting worse.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. 🙁 No one understands psychosis… What it’s like to live in constant fear of things that aren’t even real, to hear all these voices that I can’t make shut up. What it’s like for me to experience all these things that aren’t real for anyone else, to see all these evil things, that closing my eyes, or even sleep won’t make go away… to feel their evil presence, feel them touch me, hold me, hurt me… I feel them try to kill me. But no one can see this invisible killer, so it’s like I’m living in a nightmare, but I can’t wake up. I think that’s the best way to describe psychosis, it’s a LIVING, BREATHING, NIGHTMARE.
I just want everything to be over. I’ve been in therapy and been hospitalized many times since this started, I’ve been trying so hard to be happy.. but I can’t anymore. I can’t hide behind a fake smile, I can’t pretend that I’m okay. I’m going to go away and no one will notice. LYBIO.net Every year since 2008 I have attempted suicide on the 1st of May. But I think i’m not going to fail this year. I’m sorry. Please talk to your friends when they show signs of a mental illness, because YOU CAN SAVE THEIR LIFE! That’s all I ask of everyone, because no one saved me. Where did all my problems come from? How did it come to this? What did I do to deserve this? I asked myself questions like this for years until my psychiatrist asked me about my childhood.
[Olivia Penpraze] Source: LYBIO.net
And then it hit me… BULLYING! All my pain is caused by heaps of tiny comments built up over the years. “You’re so ugly, stupid, lame, pathetic, useless, idiotic, just go away, no one even likes you, you’re a waste of space, just go kill yourself already, you’re better off dead.” Comments like those are why I’m depressed, why I cut myself, why I believe I’m not important, why I can’t accept compliments, or ever believe I’m beautiful. So, if you’re ever thinking about bullying someone.. DON’T! because you could ruin their life. Your words hurt and could make someone take their life. Bullying needs to stop. No one deserves to be bullied, ever! Please just put a stop to bullying. Thank you so much for taking your time to watch this 🙂 and please remember that i love you, and so do many others! your life is worth living! 🙂 â™¥
[blows a kiss]
Olivia Penpraze’s Video. So, if you’re ever thinking about bullying someone.. DON’T! because you could ruin their life. Your words hurt and could make someone take their life. Bullying needs to stop. No one deserves to be bullied, ever! Please just put a stop to bullying. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.