Matthew Hussey Who Pays On A First Date
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[Matthew Hussey Who Pays On A First Date]
[Matthew Hussey:] Source: LYBIO.net
Let us have one more question we had this person at the back in the stripes. Yeah let us hear from you.
During the dating period after like four or five months of dating, I was just wondering at what point does it get; do you have to pay – do the woman have to pay when they go out. The guy is asking that there should be half and half at that point when you are already…
At what point?
When you’ve already been dating for four or five months.
Look okay to give you a quick answer on firstly I think we should just deal with who should pay thing to begin with. Who — When you are on a date who should pay?
I know, I mean that’s what I told them, you know, I am sorry I am dating, we are dating, you are the gentleman here and you’re supposed to pay.
Okay he is supposed to pay.
Yeah that is what I told.
But you are supposed to have sex with him whenever he says.
No. Whenever [inaudible]
But where does this double standard come from. I am sorry it’s the reality you guys can – you can moan at it, if you want. But the moment you say to a guy you have to fucking pay for my time, you are saying this relationship isn’t equal. This relationship isn’t equal mine time is worth more than yours so you should pay for it. I wonder what paradigm that sets up.
Here is my view. If you are going to date with a guy and you don’t offer to pay your share you weren’t taught right. If you go on a date and he doesn’t pay he wasn’t taught right.
[Matthew Hussey:] Source: LYBIO.net
I can tell you right now if I was dating someone and they never offered to pay I wouldn’t be dating them. I can tell you that now. If they never offered to pay I would not be dating them because I’d say this is the most polite they are ever going to be. And then they are not even trying to pay now. Um… what does that say about my future. But I — look – let me come at this from a different angle. I would – I would be treating I will always treat my partner how I would treat my best friend.
And I wouldn’t apply a different standard to my partner than my best friend. I wouldn’t go – I wouldn’t say to my best friend lets always go out to dinner and you always pay. I’d say lets be team mates here in whatever way we can. And maybe by the way proportionately what you can do is less than what he can do. That is a different thing, if he says to you; I want to go stay at the top hotel in Big Sur this weekend and its $1,500 bucks a night and you say I can’t – I don’t have the money.
It is his job to say it doesn’t matter I didn’t do it so you could pay I did it because I want to go and I want to take you. Great that’s what that is. Right?
Or if you both agree to go on holiday and you have a fifth of his earning potential you say I want to contribute to a fifth of this holiday. It is overly simplistic but you get what I am saying, right?
I will contribute on the level I can contribute. Let me tell you what means something to a guy, trying. That means something to a guy.
When he feels that you are not even trying to contribute that is when he feels used. Because any guy who is really confident and self respecting, if the woman never is even trying to contribute, he feels like he is being taken advantage of and has nothing to do with money.
[Matthew Hussey:] Source: L Y B I O . N E T
It has to do with the lack of gesture so I would be looking. If you like this guy maybe if you are in different positions figure out what you want to contribute proportionately or what you can contribute proportionately and treat him as you would your best friend.
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