Louis CK Honors George Carlin
The Accurate Source To Find Transcript To Louis CK Honors George Carlin.”
[Louis CK Honors George Carlin]
[Kelly Carlin (born June 15, 1963), Kelly Carlin-McCall:] Source: LYBIO.net
Our last guest, like others, our last guest is an all-rounder. Actor, comedian, Emmy Award-winning writer, filmmaker. He is ranked number 98 on Comedy Central’s 100 Greatest Standups of All Time, (laughter) but what the fuck do they know? For us, he’s number one tonight. Louis C.K.
[Louis Szekely (born September 12, 1967):]
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m really honored to be here. I’m happy just to be here as a ticket holder, just to watch everything that’s happened. The Stiller family, and uh… that was crazy, and Kevin, and the guy that looks like Dick Cheney, at the end there, (laughter) a very – a very nice version of Dick Cheney, he’s not a lizard, I don’t think. But uh… uh… I think I can just tell you what George’s—I’m a comedian, and I do what he did, and he was the first person I knew that I knew what comedy was. Children love to laugh, but most people that make children laugh for a living suck at it.
Clowns aren’t funny. That doesn’t exist, a funny clown. If a person was funny, they’d do comedy, because you make money doing it. There’s no HBO Clown Specials for you if you make a bunch of money. (laughter) So clowns suck, and kids just look at them and just go, Just please stop trying to make me laugh. There’s nothing worse than a person who’s not funny trying to be funny, and that’s what a clown is. A guy waiting for a bus is funnier than a shit clown at a kids’ party, so, (laughter) but kids need to laugh, so the first time you really laugh means a lot to you, and I remember my first grown-up feeling laugh and I saw George Carlin on Saturday Night Live and he said, “What do dogs do on their day off? They can’t lay around. That’s their job.” And I just, something went off, and I just couldn’t stop laughing. And the idea was born in my head at that moment, “I want to be funny, I want to be a comedian.” I didn’t know that a grown person could be a comedian, that’s an incredible thing to me and I had other heroes, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, Bill Cosby, but George was like me, he was an East Coast Catholic, you know, I had something to identify with him. And the first time I remember getting a laugh I was in fourth grade and they asked the class um… the teacher said, “There are three bones in the skull. Name one.” And I said, “the noggin,” (laughter)and I got a big laugh, and I thought, “Hey, you know, I could do this, I could be like George,” so – so I started doing, right out of high school, started doing standup, didn’t go to college, didn’t pursue anything else professionally, really, started doing standup.
The first time I went onstage I did a minute and a half, and I bombed, it was terrible, but I wanted it so badly that I kept trying, and I learned how to write jokes, and I just had jokes, kind of funny thoughts, and I don’t know, and – about fifteen years later, I had been going in a circle that didn’t take me anywhere. Nobody gave a shit who I was and I didn’t either. I honestly didn’t. I used to hear my act and go, this is shit and I hate it, but I’ve been doing this for fifteen years, and stopping now is like getting out of prison, like what do you do after fifteen years of standup comedy, how do you reenter the workforce? (laughter) So I was in a really bad place.
I hated my act. I had been doing the same hour of comedy for fifteen years, and it was shit. I promise you. And I was working places like Chinese restaurants. (laughter) I was, I’d do a show at a Chinese restaurant, they don’t even know there’s a show gonna happen, they’re there to eat, and all of a sudden, you’d go “hey, everybody,” and they’d go, “I’m eating, I don’t want to be forced to sit and uh……” So I was doing it at a Chinese restaurant called Kowloon in Boston, it’s August, Massachusetts, and I was sitting in my car after the show just feeling like, “This was all a big mistake, I’m not good enough, and I hate – I felt like my jokes were a trap, and I listened to a CD of George talking about comedy and workshopping it and talking about it seriously, and the thing that blew me away about this fellow was he kept putting out—specials, every year there’d be a new George Carlin special, a new George Carlin album, they just kept coming, and each one was deeper than the next, and I just thought, how can he do that? And it made me literally cry that I could never do that. I was telling the same jokes for fifteen years, so I’m listening and they asked him, “How do you do all this material?” And I’m like eeeee…. And I hear him and he says, “I just decided every year I’d be working on that year’s special, and I do the special and then I just chuck out the material and then I start with nothing.” And I thought, “That’s crazy. How do you throw away. It took me fifteen years to build this shitty hour. If I throw it away, I’ve got nothing.” But I – But he gave me the courage to try, but also I was desperate, what the fuck else was I going to do? This idea that you throw everything away and you start over again. And I thought, “Well, okay, when you’re done telling jokes about airplanes and dogs, and you throw those away, what have you got left?” You can only dig deeper, you can start talking about your – you know, your feelings and who you are and then you do those jokes and they’re gone. You’ve gotta dig deeper, so you start thinking about your fears and your nightmares, and doing jokes about that, and then they’re gone, and then you just going into just weird shit, and eventually you get to your balls, (laughter) but there’s a whole.
It’s a process that I watched him do my whole life, and I started to try to do it and I started to think, “What do I—because he says whatever he wants. What do I really want to say that I’m afraid to say?” At the time I was a father. I am still a father. (laughter) But at the time—I had started out, I didn’t take off yet, the jury’s out, my oldest is eight. I can still split. So far I’m still there. Um… I was having a hard time being a father, and I wanted to say it onstage. One night, just I thought, okay, “forget all the old jokes, I’m going to start again, “and I thought of the first thing, “I can’t have sex with my daugh—my daughter!—with my wife, because we have a baby, and our baby’s a fucking asshole,” it was just what I was feeling and I said it and the audience went “whoa” and I thought, “Oh, I’m somewhere new now.” And I said – and I said something like, “I never used to get babies in the garbage, but now I understand it,” and they did that, and I thought, I’d rather have that than the shit tepid laughter for my fifteen-year-old jokes, so I started going down this road and he was always the beacon for me, always, this guy, he always gave me the courage.
He says, you know, the line that Kevin quoted, where he said people at anti-abortion rallies are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place. He opened a special with that at Carnegie Hall. (laughter) He comes out on the stage, you have to watch it, and he doesn’t -he doesn’t milk the crowd for applause. They’re applauding, they’re all going “George, George,” and he goes, “yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotta get this out. Did you ever notice that the people at anti-abortion rallies are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?” And most comedians would do, like, you know, a good half an hour of really sweet material and couch that joke in a lot of—but he just had to get it out there, and he set that example for me, and that’s the way I’ve done my act, and since then I’ve done three comedy specials, and I’ve started down the same road, it’s been a massive change for me, I feel every year I’ve got something to work for. The same—I’m doing exactly what he taught me to do, and onstage I feel a courage to say what I want to say because of – because of this guy.
[Louis CK:] Source: LYBIO.net
Anyway, a few years ago, I was about to tape my first, my second standup special, and he was taping the same night, in LA, and he taped his last special on the same night that I taped one. And I remember feeling like, “This is amazing that I do what this great man does, and that we do it in the same way.” And he um… died and it kicked me in the balls when he died, it really hurt, and then I remember that—I don’t want to be doing this, I’m sorry—but uh… later I was at a whatever, doesn’t matter, and my phone rang, and it was his daughter, it was Kelly, and uh… I have two kids and they’re girls, so I thought, “he’s got a daughter, and his daughter is calling me.” And I know what it means to have a daughter, because I have two, and she’s calling and asking me to come and say something about what he meant to me. So that was a big moment for me, I’m very proud to do what George did. I know I’m supposed to close funny, but I just—I’m not good at doing stuff that isn’t my act, so I’m sorry. But he was a great man, and anything that ever happens to me that’s good is due to this guy and I can tell you because I do what he did, that it was really hard to say the shit that he did, and that it took a lot of courage, it was difficult. So thanks for coming and honoring him and thanks for having me.
Support and Follow:
The Official Home of George Carlin
Louis CK Honors George Carlin. But he was a great man… Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.