Louis CK – Do You Live In This Building – Oh My God
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[Louis CK – Do You Live In This Building – Oh My God]
[Louis Szekely (September 12, 1967)] Source: LYBIO.net
I live in New York City and its okay there. I live in a nice building. I never lived in a nice place before. When I was growing up, I had no money. I mean, my mom didn’t, didn’t matter, I was a child, but uh I’m not used to it, because it’s nice. It’s like a pretty courtyard with flowers and a fountain with little marble boys pissing. I don’t know what is it with fountains? Like all fountains sculptors are pedophiles, basically. You can’t get a fountain made without; do you make me a fountain? Yes. I’ll get started right away. Oh, oh, yes. Yeah, it’s finished, and there is just little boys pissing on the face of a Greek God that looks like him a lot, piss on me forever.
Anyway, there is one of those in the courtyard of my building, and my first week in the building, about year ago, I went down to the courtyard for the first time, and I didn’t look too good. You know, it was Sunday morning. That’s my least presentable hour. There’s a lot of, you know, just stains. Just like, you know, food and me and whatever and so, I’m sitting. I’m sitting there. So, shut up. (Laughing)
[Louis C.K.] Source: LYBIO.net
Anyway, but so there I was. I’m sitting on the stone bench of this courtyard and feeling a little out of place. You know, there’s these fancy doorman and stuff, and then there’s this guy looking at me. I noticed he is looking at me from across the courtyard and he’s all spiffy looking. He’s got brown shoes and he is looking at me like, hmm. I can tell he was thinking I don’t live in the building. He thinks I just wandered in off the streets and sat in the courtyard. I can tell he’s thinking of coming over and dealing with me on his own. And I’m sitting there thinking like, “oh, please to do that. Yes, please come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.”
And I’m trying to look even more gross, and I’m like pulling up my shirt, and then I see him go, “oh, no, that’s not going to do at all.” And he comes over to me, “hmm,” and I’m like I’m, hmm! I’m so excited to have this thing, the confrontation where I’m not wrong at all and he thinks I am. So he comes over, says, excuse me, do you live in this building? And I said, no, because why not start there? I said no. He goes, well then, what are you doing here? And I said, I just need to rest, I’m having a hard time. He says this is private property. And I said, well, I don’t really believe in that.
[Louis C.K.] Source: LYBIO.net
You know, just the worst things I could say from his point of view is basically all the things I was saying. And he goes, well, if you don’t leave, I’m going to talk to the doorman. I was like can I just stay like five more hours? So he’s, hmm, no and he goes over to the doorman, and I see him talking about me to the doorman like this. And then I see the doorman going, oh, no, that guy lives here. It’s okay. And the look on his face, it was just so, it was the – this beautiful cocktail of anger and confusion. It’s like I had invented a new way to hurt somebody’s feelings. That’s – that’s how excited I was.
Louis CK – Do You Live In This Building – Oh My God. It was Sunday morning. That’s my least presentable hour. There’s a lot of, you know, just stains. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.