Kay Robertson – I Am Second
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[Kay Robertson – I Am Second]
When my grandmother and I talked about when I grew up and married, I said: “We’re gonna be just like all the books say. I’m gonna get married, I’m gonna have four kids and I’m gonna live happily ever after.”
And my grandmother say: “I know that you feel like that now but I promise you somewhere in life you’re gonna have to fight for your marriage”.
[Kay Robertson:] Source: LYBIO.net
When I was fourteen years old my dad passed away suddenly. He was 49 years old. He had a massive heart attack and he died. My mother was only 42 at that time. Course what it did to her was devastating. I turned fifteen and my mother and myself were dating at the same time. She would date. I’d date. I’d come home, she wouldn’t be there. Not a good situation, I want to tell you for a teenage girl. When I got my first look at Phil Robertson, I liked what I saw. It didn’t hurt that he was a star quarterback of the football team. That was just added stuff. But, yeah, I liked him when I saw him. Phil was at the funeral. And I loved that he cared enough about me to come to my dad’s funeral. From that point, when I saw him that day, it was like– we were history. Together ever since. I think that in a lot of ways he just took my dad’s place as my protector. My man. My pioneer man.
Well, my grandmother and I were so close, but she’s from a way different generation. You know, when Phil and I were probably doing things we shouldn’t, touching and things like that, I thought:
Well, I don’t wanna talk to her ’cause my grandmother never talks about sex. She never– It was kind of a taboo word. What happened was– I became pregnant. So, we did take off and get married. And the first year was a real struggle. Number one, we were so poor. So in love, but so poor. I’d never been poor. Phil had been poor all his life. So, it was anything new to him. It was different for me. We learned to live off fish, ducks, deer, squirrels. All the things that he killed. And then I tried to cook it. That was my process of learning how to cook. I started seeing the change in Phil. Phil, who had never drank before, started drinking. Alan was born. I was seventeen years old and Phil was eighteen years old. And we were kind of like two kids with a kid. I kind of feel sorry for Alan because, bless his heart, I know he’d probably liked to have a real mom and dad but he had who he had. At least that didn’t kill him. I did the best I could. Jason was born. So thrilled about another boy. Phil was happier than ever.
Unfortunately, the drinking got worse. He was mean spirited, he ran around on me, smoked dope, he got drunk. We got pregnant again with Willie Jess
Phil’ll have another boy. He’s gonna slow the partying and drinking down. He’s gonna get better. No. What I would tell my boys all the time is:
“That’s not your daddy. That’s the devil in your daddy.”
I was worn out. I picked the boys up, I came home and he was drunk on the couch. He said: “Why are you so late?” And I said: “The car broke down, bla, bla, bla. I was telling him all that.” He said: “I know why you’re late. You were having an affair.” And, course, I started laughing, ’cause I said:
“When would I have time to do that?”
“I work. I drive back and forth. I cook.”
“I do laundry. I take care of the house.”
And I just never would do that ’cause it’s not right. I wasn’t raise like that. I wouldn’t do that.
So, that night was when I hit my lowest point in my whole life. Because, all of a sudden, it came to me that I’d been fighting for this marriage for a long time, and it’s not working. I went in my bathroom and I started crying and crying, and I seriously thought:
“I just wanna die.” I really did. I just wanted peace and that was the only way I could think of it. “I wish I could just take pills and just go to sleep and never wake up.” I heard the pitter-patter of little house shoes on the floor. I will never forget that sound as long as I live. And Alan said: “Mamma, mamma, please don’t cry.” “Don’t cry. It’s gonna be alright.” And his next words said: “God is gonna take care of us.” And I said:
“What?”. And he said: “God’s gonna take care of us.” All of a sudden it’s like a light went off and I said:
“Wait a minute. Who’s gonna take care of these three little boys?” “A drunk sitting on the couch or– me? I’m all they got.”
I just got on my knees and I prayed.
I said: “God, please help me find some peace.”
“Please, help me find some hope.”
“And, please, help me save my marriage.” That’s what I said.
Well I end up coming to talk to a preacher.
And he shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
That He came to Earth for me, that He died on the Cross for me, that He was buried for me.
That He didn’t stay buried. He went back to show me that I’ll be able to go back after death. And I repented of my sins and then I was baptized.
It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And the neatest thing though that that man told me, that day was this:
He said: “You are gonna have help.” “You’ll have the Holy Spirit living in you, you have Jesus Christ in you.”
“It’s an anchor that’ll never leave you.”
“But when you go home your husband’s still gonna be controlled by the devil.”
“You are still gonna have him call you names, be mean to you, go out and get drunk.”
“It’s not gonna change just because of what happened to you today.”
“Gotta understand that.”
“But you keep praying for him, just love him, and it’s gonna happen.”
What happened one day was the shock of the world.
When I came home .. in my little Volkswagen, and he– said to me–
“I am sick of you.”
“Well, I just can’t stand your holy roller life. Everybody’s reading their bibles, and their Bible story books and all that.”
“It’s just– You’re just ruining my life.”
That’s what he said.
And I said: “Well, I’m sorry we’re ruining your life but this is our life now and we’re not changing.”
And he said: “Well, what I’ve decided is I want y’all to just get out of my life.”
I said: “So this is what you’re saying. You’re– You’re kicking us out.”
“Yeah. I want you and the three boys to leave.”
“And I — That’s it. I just can’t take anymore. I mean– Go live with your church friends.”
“You like them the best anyway. So, just go on.”
“I– I can’t take this anymore.”
So, I said: “OK, I want it noted.
I didn’t leave you. You kicked us out.”
And I was thinking to myself: “I’ll have to tell my grandma in Heaven, that I tried to fight this marriage out, but he just kicked us out.”
“So, what can I do?”
The boys would say: “I miss Dad.” and I’d say: “I miss him, too. But maybe us being away will make him think about what’s wrong with his life.” “And maybe he’ll find the need for God. So, we would pray for him every day.”
One day at work, we came back from our lunch and there was the old gray truck, sitting in the parking lot of where I worked.
“Oh, no. Phil’s here.”
Well, his head was leaned over his steering wheel. So, when I came over to the truck, I opened the door and when he looked at me it was not like anything I’ve ever thought, would happen. He had big tears coming down his eyes And he said: “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I want my family back.” ‘Course my heart just started beating, beating. And I thought: “Oh, man, this is just what I want, right here.” “This is what I prayed for.” And I said: “I know who can help you.” He said: “Who? You’re gonna say God? And I said: “The only one who can help you.” He said: “Well, I don’t know how to find him.” And I said: “Well, I do.”
I went in. I called the guy who I’d talked to. I told him the situation. He said: “Kay, let me check my calendar.”
And I will never forget what I said to an elderly gentleman at my church. I said: “Check your calendar.” I said: “What’s more important than one lost soul?” And he said: “You’re right. You are exactly right, Kay. There’s nothing more important.” He said: “I’ll be at your apartment, me and my wife, at 5:30.” I said: “OK. I’ll see you there.”
[Phil] Source: LYBIO.net
He said: “Phil, what do you think the Gospel is? And I said: “I don’t know. Gospel music on the radio or something like that?” I was blown away when I heard that Jesus died for me, was buried and raised from the dead. Something so- It is simple but profound. That happened back there- almost two thousand years ago. I’d never heard it. I came out thinking:
“I’m gonna be as wide open for good and for God and for my neighbor as I was for the evil one and living this sinful lifestyle.”
I said: “I’m fixin’ to hang another gear and I’m turning from my sinful past and I am fixing to make a valiant attempt to be good.”
I said: “I’ve never tried it before.”
I told the guy when he studied with me. He said:
“Just love God and love your neighbor.” “And try to be good.” I’m like: “I’ve never tried that before.”
We became family again and the boys were so thrilled. “Oh, Mom, what if the devil’s really gonna leave dad this time?” “And what if he’s gonna be different?” “What if he’s gonna go to church with us and be nice, again?” And I told them, and I said: “Well, we’ve prayed enough for it, I think God is answering this prayer.” There he was, up in the baptistery. I heard Phil say:
“I wanna make Jesus the Lord of my life.” “I wanna follow Him from this day forward.” And, the next thing I knew, he was baptized. And he came out and the boys started hollering and singing, and jumping all over the place. And they said: “My daddy is saved, my daddy is saved, my daddy is saved.” They were so happy. Those years of growing, they were not always easy ’cause that kind of behavior that you had before it always follows you through.
It takes a lot of time to learn the fruits of the Spirit and to learn the ways to be gentle and kind, faithful and- You know, all those things that come along with growing as a Christian. But we did that and, more importantly, I looked up to Heaven and told my grandma. And said: “Well, I did fight for my marriage. And guess what?” “I still have it.”
[WITH A FAMILY SPANNING FOUR GENERATIONS, PHIL AND KAY HAVE REMAINED FAITHFULLY MARRIED OVER 47 YEARS]
My name is Miss Kay and I am Second.
I AM SECOND
Kay Robertson – I Am Second. I think God is answering this prayer. Nonprofits & Activism Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.