John Cena Opening Monologue At The 2016 Espy Awards
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[John Cena Opening Monologue At The 2016 Espy Awards]
[John Felix Anthony Cena Jr:] Source: LYBIO.net
I want to start by commending our athletes for their brave message at the beginning of this program.
Jimmy V once said you have a great day if you can think, you can cry, and you can laugh. That’s what I love about this program, because tonight we are going to do all three.
With that being said:
Welcome to the ESPY Awards!
This is that one magical night where J.R. wears a shirt.
My name is John Cena, those of you who don’t know me – I just signed a max contract with the New York Knicks.
You might recognize me from a movie called, ‘Trainwreck’ – there we go – who’s that Judd Apatow in the back, one guy. Despite his title it is not about the 2016 Summer Olympics. Ok, Okay, I get it –
I get some tension in the room. Let’s just address it. Why the hell did they get me to host this thing? No, I’m serious, I’m serious. Biggest night in sports? They couldn’t go out and get Kevin Hart, Matt Damon, Kristaps Porzingis? He was my No. 1 by the way. Instead, they hand it to a guy who spends most of his life in jean shorts and is actually proud of it.
Why, why did they go get a guy from the red-headed step-child of sport and entertainment why — ESPN get a host from the WWE?
I mean, it’s rigged.
Did I just spoil the surprise for some of the people? It’s scripted entertainment. What we do is fake! Right?!~. So I know what you’re thinking, me hosting the ESPYs… that’s crazy.
Or is it genius? It’s time to take a look at yourself sports, and realize that you’re more like the WWE than you ever imagined.
I’m going to start with the NBA.
Cleveland won something. That’s actually impossible, there’s no way that wasn’t scripted.
Especially when you look at the whole story.
Okay, LeBron – you used to be a good guy [Cleveland], and then you turned into a bad guy [Miami Heat] and now you’re a good guy again [Cleveland]?
And you left the NBA hanging – what are they going to do when they don’t have a bad guy? Exactly what we [the WWE] do, there going to make a new one. [Kevin Durant in a Golden State Warriors uniform.]
My hat’s off to football.
(check back for more…)
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John Cena Opening Monologue At The 2016 Espy Awards. Welcome to the ESPY Awards! Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.