Joe Rogan Explaining Kim Kardashian To Aliens
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[Joe Rogan Explaining Kim Kardashian To Aliens]
[WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
[Joseph James “Joe” Rogan (born August 11, 1967):] Source: LYBIO.net
Like, if aliens came down here and we had to explain human culture, what would be the most confusing thing to explain: Kim Kardashian. [laughs] That’s not even a joke. Not that there’s anything wrong with her. She seems like a reasonable, nice person. She doesn’t seem mean. I got no problem with her, but if you had to explain why she’s the most famous woman on the planet, it would be a little difficult. [laughs] If they were like, “What’s going on? Why her?” You’d be like “Ooh, um…” That is the most famous female on the planet, by the way. I see some of you shaking your head.
Who’s more famous? Oprah? No sex tape. She wins. Fame, what’s fame? People paying attention to you. I really think that’s the most famous person on the planet that’s a female, and if you were talking to aliens, they’d be like, “How did that happen?” “Umm, do you guys know what football is?” You’d have to explain football, because you’d have to explain O.J. Simpson, [laughs] and if you’re gonna really, truly tell the Kim Kardashian tale correctly, you’d have to go, “Football is the great American pastime”, and what it is,it’s our number one sport. We take the biggest super athletes, and we pad them up, and it’s all about moving the ball across the line, okay?
The ball goes across that line, everybody gets fucking pumped, ’cause that means we scored, but if the ball goes across that line, everybody gets really sad, because that means they scored, okay?
So more people watch football than vote for president. It’s our number one thing.
Now, O.J. Simpson was really good at football, so he fucked a lot of white chicks, and he got crazy, and he married one of them, and what marriage is, is you write some shit down on paper, and then when the woman gets tired of your nonsense, she can leave, and have sex with new men, but you have to continue sending her money. [laughs]
Yeah, well, O.J. wasn’t buying that either, [laughs] so he… [applause] he allegedly got a thing called a kitchen knife, and he found his ex-wife alone with another man, and he put the knife in their bodies until they stopped being alive, and then he hired a team of legal assassins to get him out of trouble, and they worked their verbal wizardry. Said; “if the glove does not fit, you must acquit”, and all this craziness, and O.J. walked on all charges, but Kardashian and Johnnie Cochran died young of cancer. Now, I don’t know if karma really is a motherfurcker, but if you got a better example, tweet it my way. You know what I’m saying?
[Joe Rogan:] Source: L Y B I O . N E T
But this is not Kims fault – and she’s – Kim is Robert Kardashian’s daughter. And when a dad leaves behind a daughter, it leaves a hole, there’s a void, men needs moms’ and girls need dads, its this weird thing that happens, we have a Yin and Yang, and when a young girl grows up without a father a lot of times they develop this exorbitant need for male attention.
And it could really manifest itself in some really sad ways. Like, they can become strippers, or they become prostitutes or in Kim’s case she fucked this black guy with a giant dick and she filmed it. And then it got on the internet and she’s like: how did that get out there? [laughs] She went on from that, to making fifty times more than the President of the United States – those are real numbers.
If you went to Harvard Business school and said listen, I’m thinking about starting a business, I want to make more than fifty times more than the President, here’s my plan: I’m going to fuck an R&B singer with a giant dick and I’m gonna film it. And that’s it.
They would be like; get the fuck out of our office. You don’t know shit about business, then meanwhile, they were wrong, and she’s right, a woman with a fake ass makes fifty times more than the Commander Chief, the greatest army the world has ever known. And the aliens be like, we’re going to fucking kill you all.
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