Jimmy Fallon – Mister Romney’s Neighborhood
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[Jimmy Fallon – Mister Romney’s Neighborhood]
[James Thomas “Jimmy” Fallon, Jr. (September 19, 1974)] Source: LYBIO.net
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, beautiful day for neighbor, won’ t you be mine? Could you be mine? Won’t you be, won’t you be, please won’t you be my neighbor? Ta Da – won’t you be my neighbor? Of course there’s a good chance you already since I own so many homes. Ta ta tah – It is a beautiful day. Thank you Manuel
You see this, it’s called a wallet and inside a wallet, well that’s where money goes. Now do you know what money is? I’m guessing no because you are watching Public television therefore you don’t have cable, therefore you’re probably poor. Money is sorta like paper that you can use to buy things that you want like toys or yachts. Now you may be wondering ‘where does money come from’? Well it comes from a magical place called ‘our parents’.
Oh there’s somebody at the door. I wonder who it could be? Oh it’s a good friend, Mr. Obama.
Hello Mr. Romney
[Romney] Source: LYBIO.net
Hello Mr. Obama. You remember Mr. Obama right? Last week at the debate Mr. Obama taught us all a new word, CHOKE. So what brings you to the neighborhood today?
Since my sleepy performance at the debate Mr. Romney, uhh my wife Michelle has insisted that I pick up some new job skills so I’m now a mailman part-time and oh look here ‘special delivery’, October Jobs Report and the unemployment numbers are down so ‘in your face’.
That’s just wonderful. Did you know that Mr. Obama is the President of the United States? It’s a very important job. You have to make big decisions and you are in charge of a lot of people for 4 years.
Ahhhhh Mr. Romney I think you made a mistake. I think you mean 8 years
You see kids, Mr. Obama just did something called ‘using your imagination’
Actually if you take a look at the polls I think you will see that in a number of key states there are (Romney slams door in Obama’s face)
It’s fun to use your imagination. You know I love to have fun and laugh, Ha Ha Ha, but with imagination why a simple piece of string here could be any number of things. Ya. I can’t be that – I can be anything – I could be uh – that doesn’t make sense, it could be – it could be a piece of twine………..string and twine are fundamentally different things. You know what, this is stupid so.
Oh look it’s the trolley. It’s on the way to the neighborhood of Make Believe. That’s were me and Paul Ryan get most of our facts from. Let’s hop aboard, shall we? I think today I will bring my trusty friend Mr. Dog. Hi Mr. Dog, want to go for a trip? You do… Great. Just make sure that your on good and tight, make sure your on good and tight, make sure you are on alright, Ok – there – off we go.
Here we are in the neighborhood of Make Believe. A land full of things that don’t exist in the real world. Look there is a talking cat in a treehouse and hey, look over there, it’s my tax returns.
Meow, Meow, Meow. Well hello Mr. Romney
Hello Henrietta. Now kids don’t be alarmed this puppet feline isn’t real. Look. This is Bill. He is a union worker. You pay him with your tax dollars so that he can crouch down with a sock in his hand and make silly voices. You disgust me.
Well that’s all the time we have today on Mr. Romney’s neighborhood but before I go remember that there’s only one person in the world that’s like you, and that’s you and people can like you exactly the way you are; but if they don’t, then just pretend you are the exact opposite of what you are and then maybe they’ll like you.
Ya, but doesn’t that undermine your original..
[Romney] Source: LYBIO.net
Bill, You’re Fired. I’ll be back next time. Bye Bye
Jimmy Fallon – Mister Romney’s Neighborhood. It’s on the way to the neighborhood of Make Believe. That’s were me and Paul Ryan get most of our facts from. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.