JelloApocalypse – Welcome To Youtube
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[JelloApocalypse – Welcome To Youtube]
[JelloApocalypse] Source: LYBIO.net
That was an advertisement. It helps users scrape out a meager living after tirelessly making new videos unless of course you click skip this ad after five seconds then their pour is dirt.
Speaking of dirt, congratulations you are now a YouTuber.
Welcome new Tubers and old Tubers. YouTube is a fantastic site where absolutely anyone can upload, whatever they want, whenever they want and share it with the world. With this helpful guide, you too can learn the ins and outs of YouTube and maybe even become famous.
But first new YouTuber, you are going to need to learn the YouTube interface and old YouTubers, you can relearn the interface because the changes every 4 to 6 weeks and no one is ever happy about it. These are the recommended videos. They’re what YouTube thinks you want to watch, remember that one pony video you clicked on five months ago by a accident, well, YouTube knows you want to see more of that, like cooking shows, no.
We’ll ask again tomorrow and you are pretty sure you’ve never heard of Mannix before recommends are front in center because that’s what you should watch YouTube says so. Huh? You think subscription should be the first thing on your homepage, that’s stupid, you are stupid.
Let’s explore the homepage. See these, these are all worthless. Do you produce content, no. Well, then these are all worthless too, in fact the only thing you’ll use on the main page is probably subscriptions which aren’t even on the main page anymore. They are off to side and you have to click on them and there is no way to set them as your default. Don’t worry though; I’m sure they’ll change it in the next update. I bet there won’t even be subscriptions anymore.
This is a video. YouTube has lots of these. Some are movie clips, some are sketches, some are songs with the static image of an album cover a surprising amount are amateur Lego stop motion videos and some are just movie booty clap videos. With so many videos, there is something for everyone. There is also a lot of garbage like a lot and lot of garbage like wow.
After waiting for the sticky YouTube cream to settle to the top of the rank ocean of YouTube’s stank, you have to wait for the cream to rise to the top of that cream and there is your video.
You can upload anything you want; except for TV shows, movies, porn, gore, criminal activity or footage from Nintendo games, oh, and don’t even think about uploading anything for Viacom or studio Jubilee that stuff will be taking down before can say [beep—] underneath your video we have the comment section.
[JelloApocalypse] Source: LYBIO.net
These are the comments, comments give anyone and everyone a voice and that’s not always a good thing. We have a saying around here when it comes to comments DON’T, don’t it stands for don’t comment ever. Some comments are good or funny but most of them are just reasons to pray for a hostel alien invasion, Like if Smosh sent you here, fuck you.
You can upload your video in many different formats that effect the video and audio quality HD 720 480 and 2006 mode. Did you know that YouTube has a 3D feature, me neither.
Underneath the video is the like bar, the ratio of likes to dislikes can influence how popular your video becomes. But mostly it’s just used to gauge how awful it is right from get go. You can use the bar as handy tool for figuring out what kind of video you are about to watch.
156 people are…
Next to the like buttons is the subscribe button. Once you have a lot of subscribers that means you’ve become famous.
Every content producer wants subscribers.
This little red button twists our hearts and souls of mortal men.
But how important can subscribers really be?
Subscribing your channel means you get updates whenever that channel produces a new video. So basically, one subscriber means one possible view on one possible video in the future, not very important at all if you ask me. Some people think that subscriptions are so important that they point them out at the end of videos and remind the viewers to like and subscribe, how silly.
Oh – Don’t mind me. I’m just pausing to take a drink.
Now that you know the ins and outs of YouTube, it’s time to become famous. Many people become famous because their channels provide interesting original content at astounding levels of quality with frequent updates. Of course, you are far too busy for any of those things. Let’s cheat our way to the top like everyone else.
First of all, you need to make a name for yourself make sure your videos have something that really says You and one better way to do that that with an intro video. Why not search a minute long video off with a two minute long interval. Just got a set of some tasteful visuals and sync it up to your favorite music.
Yeah that’s perfect. [Death Metal Plays] How could viewers possibly close out of that window?
Now its time to pick a specialty. Why not to attract the Anime community with some Anime music videos. Showcase all of your favorite and/or imaginary Italian fan apparent set to the classiest music possible.
Awesome, ooo…don’t forget the rainbow filter. That’s the stuff.
If you enjoy Anime, but you are too ashamed to yourself of aware to make AMVs, don’t worry, there are other options out there for you.
Do you like voice acting than why not try something that only two dozen people have actually succeeded in doing and make your own abridged series. Those are always a success.
[JelloApocalypse] Source: LYBIO.net
Maybe you should upload a movie you like. What’s that you say? You don’t have the entire movie, well, that’s no problem. Just post a shitty JPEG image of what looks like the movies VHS’s cover if it was made in 1964 and say it’s the whole movie. Don’t even bother making the video of the whole movie length. Just provide a helpful link in the description and to assure your viewers that the full movie they are looking to shamelessly pirate is at other end, of course, that’s just for views.
We are trying to become famous – not popular.
Can you animate, that’s great. You could try your hand at becoming a famous ego-raptor, animator, animator that’s what I meant – animator.
Make parodies of stuff and if that doesn’t work just animate big cartoon boobs like everyone else or do something totally uninspired about My Little Pony and rake in the views by the hundreds of thousands.
If animation isn’t a cup of tea, you could try making a show about video games, just like everybody else on the planet or you could do ‘let’s plays’ simply pick a game that everybody else has already played, film your TV with the cam recorder, add commentary that isn’t as good as you think it is and wait for Retsupurae and slowbeef from Retsupurae to nail your ass to a wall, if nothing else I’m sure Machinima will take you in. Those guys have no standards.
Try your hand at sketch comedy. Can you write or act, do you have the equipment? No, no and no that’s fine. Just film you and you friends sticking around at the park uploaded then just sit back and wonder why or even trying.
What’s that, you are not good at anything you say well, then why not just compile the work that other people do and showcase it on your channel, add a minimal to non-existent commentary? If that doesn’t work then just get famous for doing something you are terrible at and if all of that fails that you could always just slap some tits or a butt on your video thumbnail and get millions of views anyway.
As soon as you follow the steps above, you have successfully become famous.
Congratulations, you now have a legion of blind idiot YouTube follower constantly disappointing you in the comment sections.
Right now, the clever viewer out there are saying this is great, but is there a way I can make money off of YouTube, of course, there is you total dick weed.
All you have to do is become partner and get ad revenue. Just pick something you are good at or not so good at and do it a million times. No, no PewDiePie fans I know what you are thinking, but remember our rule about commenting – don’t.
There are three kinds of ads, the once you skip after five seconds, the once you skip immediately and the ones you can’t skip, so you just switch to another video instead. You get paid every time someone clicks on an advertisement on your video so after a year that should ad up to a cool $7, that’s a whooping 28 gum balls and now there is paid subscriptions, that’s right.
Now I know what you are thinking. People have to paid to subscribe to me that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
Still not enough money for you well, don’t worry of you are famous and terrible enough you might even get your own TV show. Today YouTube, tomorrow Nickelodeon, soon the world.
Congratulations, you are now a YouTube master have fun with your millions of ad revenue dollars and legion of undying fans. I wish you the best of luck and happy browse – it –
Well, hold on a second let me refresh. Oh for [fuck sakes!]
(JelloApocalypse) Jello. A Writer And A Voice Actor, Voice Comics.
JelloApocalypse – Welcome To Youtube. We are trying to become famous – not popular. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.