Jaboody Dubs Baby Appraiser Dub
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[Jaboody Dubs Baby Appraiser Dub]
[Jaboody Dubs:] Source: LYBIO.net
Hey, yo what up guys. My name is Bob C.Hamilton. I’m a PhD degree, DBM, M.D., specialized in babies. Now a lot of people coming to my office claiming they have the world’s cutest baby, but they want to get a professional’s opinion. And that’s where I come in. You see I have a trained eye for top quality babies. It’s simple. I just hold onto the child and I tell the parents straight up, if the baby has any value or not. I have some babies in the office today that I need to appraise. So follow me and I’ll do a little demonstration.
Yeah, alright, what do we go on the chopping block today. Uh… we’ve got a crier. We’re going to have to knock him down a few points right from the start. You know a lot of babies come in here and make that mistake. It’s pretty common.
Okay, we’ve got these arms here. Alittle chubby, but solid rotation. Let’s just tuck those away for now. His spine is a little – but you know what he has got a good weight to him. Okay, let’s see, I could yeah easily see – ah, wait a minute, what, do you see there, he has got a bum leg that’s not good.
Well, you know, at least he has another one, time for the twerk test, yep, just as I thought. The right leg is moving a whole lot more than the bum the leg. And now I would like to check the baby’s center of gravity by applying a little centripetal force and seeing how he reacts. Ha ha ha. He’s a six. See, that’s it. He is going to cry.
Okay, who is next, come here son of a bitch. Okay, alright. Lets see who we’re working with here now, oh, oh see that. She is flopping over like that, that’s not good. This arm here is slightly underdeveloped. Okay, now there is something about this baby’s weight and posture. I feel like he has a big head, un-proportion to his body, which is just like his father over here.
Yeah, upon further inspection, he does have a rather large head and he is nearly weightless in his lower body, which is probably the worst thing I have seen in a while, because I am a doctor and babies have you know, most of their vital organs and guts back here, right where I’m gripping my hand, yeah. And if he is weightless down there that is not a good sign. And a lot of babies with the ginormal head problem usually develop a weight distribution error and they will end up falling backwards often, but they’ll just grow up to be like a janitor or some thing like that.
[Jaboody Dubs:] Source: LYBIO.net
Ah, that’s funny. This baby doesn’t look Chinese, I’ll be generous and I’ll give this baby a three, maybe even a four. Oh! No, what’s this. You guy see that. Can we get the camera to zoom in, yep; we’ve got a crusty face over here that’s a shame. I was so close to rating this baby a four, but I think he is a three. Muah.
Well, there you have it. What can I say? I’m the best of what I do.
This baby’s skin tone is kind of patchy. He is really red. Now, I’d like to go over some things that I look for on a perfect ten. A nicely shaped circular head is ideal. It should also be soft and a little squishy. Turning the baby over and checking for any signs of a tail is really important. You wouldn’t believe, how many babies were actually born with them these days.
As I said before, doing the twerk test is great. It really helps you to feel out the baby’s weight distribution. And with a slight wriggle, you can test out the baby’s ab strength and rhythm. And this guy is a little bit too chubby over here. His pants barely fit him. The hairline is kind of of off. This one is not very youthful looking. He kind of looks like a little old man. So those are the qualities I’m looking for.
The first rule of baby appraising is you got to be honest with yourself. And second of all, you’re going to have to get used to be breaking some hearts, daa, but that’s just a part of the business and someone has got to do it.
I also offer a free plastic surgery consultation for babies after the appraisal process. You’d be surprised how much a nose job or a little liposuction can boost up a baby’s score.
[Jaboody Dubs:] Source: L Y B I O . N E T
So come on down today and get your baby appraised, we’ll find out just how cute it is, and I’ll see what I could do for you.
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Jaboody Dubs Baby Appraiser Dub. So come on down today and get your baby appraised. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.