Hannibal Buress – Jaywalking – Mash Up
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[Hannibal Buress – Jaywalking – Mash Up]
[WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
[Hannibal Buress (February 3, 1983)] Source: LYBIO.net
I was in Canada last year I got a jaywalking ticket. I’m an international criminal. I got caught jaywalking. It was me and this old lady, we were jaywalking together. We weren’t together like that – what if we were, so what mind your business.
So me and this old lady we crossed the street and a Montreal cop approaches us speaking in French. Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla French.
And I say, hey man, I don’t talk like that. What did you just say to me? Please talk to me how I talk.
Probably wasn’t the best way to start off by mocking his slang, but who cares. I take risk in life. He says you were jaywalking. I say sorry about that and then I tried to keep going about my day, because I thought that’s how jaywalking was handled as a crime.
Hey you were jaywalking. My bad! We’ve done here right?
Now I apologize not for the act of jaywalking, but for how my jaywalking made you feel. I’ll try not to jaywalk in future, while you watching but trust me I’m going to do this to rest of my life, is the best way to go about being a pedestrian.
Guess what? Two more cops show up. Now we have three police officers working this high profile jaywalking case.
The cop that stopped me was about 50 and the two extra cops they were about my age, I decide I wanted to talk trash and get on the cop’s skin, that was standing closer to me, because I don’t like him or what he represents and he also didn’t seem like a cop that will murder me.
I say, hey man your colleague is fifty years old and he’s writing jaywalking ticket for living. Is he considered a failure as a police officer? He was upset. He didn’t want to show that he was upset, but I can tell you he was upset, because the next thing he said was, oh so you are a cool guy, huh?
I said, no I’m not a cool guy. You are cool guy? He said, yeah I’m a cool guy just doing cool stuff trying to be cool.
I said man, cool people never say shit like that.
[Hannibal Buress] Source: LYBIO.net
They gave me a $37 ticket for jaywalking and $444 ticket just for being an asshole that how much it costs to be an asshole in Montreal police, just in case you’re pricing it out for your next vacation. But don’t worry I’m not paying either of them, it’s in Canada it’s not real to me.
Directed by JORDAN VOGT-ROBERTS
Edited by TONY ORCENA
Hannibal Buress – Jaywalking – Mash Up. I was in Canada last year I got a jaywalking ticket. I’m an international criminal. Comedy Complete Full Transcript.