Gavin McInnes – How To – In Public
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How To —– In Public Part 1 – The Six Techniques.
[Gavin McInnes – How To – In Public]
[WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
[Gavin Miles McInnes (July 17, 1970)] Source: LYBIO.net
Bye, buddy, Daddy’s going to work, will be back soon.
So sitting in a park and drinking all day has its pitfalls, one of them is its illegal. A lot of different techniques are used to avoid this; people buy fancy beers from Trader Joe’s or whatever, cops don’t recognize those. I do that. It’s expensive, but I do that. Sometimes I just like to keep it simple and just do with the yee’ old bag.
Before we even get started almost every public urination trick involves a cell phone. It’s an old magic thing that I learned from magic guys. If you want to distract the audience. So I always when I’m pissing in public, I’m on my cell phone freaking out at someone. So they – when – if people see me like “Wow, that guy is really mad.”
So I open it up, enough for my large penis, and I look around, make sure it’s safe. This is the sneakiest part. Pull it out and put it in the cup, okay?
“Yes, I know that. Yeah, no, it’s not – you think it will be ready by Friday. You are out of your mind.”
You are just using your urethra or whatever that muscle is the perineum; you just sort of pump it, pump it, and pump it. Here comes the crucial move and it is one, two, three, in the pants. Now, my dick is actually out right now, because it didn’t sneak in. Sometimes if you retract enough it goes in a fly. So you keep talking, look here, they pass, now sneak that in. No-one saw that, right? I’ve got a full load there and I think it’s tacky to leave it upright. So I just sort of flop it down and I will go and get another cup later.
TECHNIQUE 2 – THE NEWSPAPER TUBE
So you get it like that, put it in there and now you are on the phone and you are just like: “Wait a minute, you have got to be kidding me. No, I’m not going to be there on Friday. No, dude, ah, I was there – waiting for you guys.” I’m doing the pushes to get out every last drop. “No, no, no, he is not going to be there, because he has no idea what he is doing.” Okay. And now watch this motion. Are you watching? Go down and get it. One, two and zoop. Okay, well, I don’t want that.
TECHNIQUE 3 – CAR TIPS
I had this car before. The problem here is; these wheels get misaligned, right? Because all here, this is where the snow and junk will gather, you will get slush here, okay? The slush will build up and it will affect the suspension. I’m letting some drips go down, just to make sure I’m definitely done. And that is why this whole part would have to be replaced.
I actually had two instances of someone coming up who own the car while I was doing this stupid diatribe about the wheel. The first time it happened was in Coney Island and I just pinched my foreskin and ran away and it exploded like a balloon and it was pathetic. Second time, I had the smarts and liquid courage to say to the guy “Oh! This is your car? As I’m urinating, as I’m lying now, I go, “Oh! This is your car, I have a similar car, you have to watch with these, you get ice and slush that wraps around the wheel hub and it can really affect your transmission.” I was just making stuff up, I don’t know anything about cars and I finished my pee, got up, did the sh-loop, where it goes back in. And he was – there was his car keys going in, thanks buddy, thanks for helping out. No problem pal, we were friends and I urinated in public and didn’t get caught.
[Gavin McInnes] Source: LYBIO.net
Yeah, I know your car is great. It’s a reliable vehicle. I had too.
Oh! You have?
Yeah, we just bought it last month, it’s awesome, it’s great.
TECHNIQUE 4 – THE BUSH INSPECTOR
Okay. I’m going to show you some next level shit that I’m not even sure I can pull off. “See this leaf here. That leaf is an important leaf. There is thorns there, it will get lost, all of the different leaves here, all have the same function.” Okay and I’ve done my last sort of pumps and now I go hooo. Now, my dick is still out, but I’m just sort of like because I know no one can see my dick. Well, that’s curious. This is not a pisser, a pisser doesn’t pontificate. “Huh Oh! Well, I guess I will go now.” Awkward part, awkward part, putting it back, putting it back.
TECHNIQUE 5 – THE WALK AND TALK
In the interest of total transparency, I should say that I have been arrested for this before, but I was walking like this and just spraying it in S’s, it’s coming, its coming and walk. “Oh, shit. No, I don’t know that to be a fact. Well, then he should have been there on time. Yes, well, how am I supposed to know that, I have no way of knowing that.” And zip its back in the undies, a few drops in the undies obviously, but we are done.
HOW TO —- IN PUBLIC PART 2 – THE SIDE EFFECTS
[Gavin McInnes] Source: LYBIO.net
So the moral of the story is you can become a piss expert, I did. There is a one pretty serious downside however, when you teach your brain that you can piss whenever you want, it can bite you in the ass when you are asleep, it’s called sleep pissing. And what it’s, is urinary arrogance. So you will not wake up in the middle of the night, you will get up asleep and go I had to piss, but I’m the king, PSSSSS, you will pee on your computer, your bed, your wife, your dog, your chair, I would piss in my chest of drawers, in my T-shirts and stuff. So that’s no good.
Solution? I know adult diapers. So I got adult diapers and I’d sleep with adult diapers. The problem with adult diapers is they have these four little pussy posted note tabs and you’re just – still asleep just go get out of here, rip it off again pissing in the chester drawers.
So here is the solution to that problem. Duct tape. Get him a 10 rounds of duct tape around, you just keep going and going and going and what happens is you get up, remember I didn’t say wakeup, and you gotta get him off, gotta get him off, gotta get him off. What? What? Where am I? Oh! I’m trying to remove my adult diapers, which I can’t do unless I’m awake. Then you will get over across the bed and go cut them off with scissors.
So what did I learn from all this, I learned that I’m in control of my own destiny, and you are in control of your own destiny. It’s about being an adult, being a grown ass man and using your brain.
Gavin McInnes – How To – In Public. In the interest of total transparency, I should say that I have been arrested for this before, but I was walking like this and just spraying it in S’s. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.