First Date With Carl


First Date With Carl

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[First Date With Carl]

My first date, we’re up on that before just drinking, next day I’m going to the beach with yoga chick. Sounds all great, everything is going cool. We’re doing a bunch of like yoga squats on the beach and like all of a sudden, I was like holy shit. Let’s go to the bathroom. So like in the middle of conversation, I was like, I have to go the bathroom, excuse me.

So like, it was so like, I’m like walking to the bathroom, it’s not far away? And like, as I take like 10 steps and like – there is no way I’m making into this bathroom. I’m going to shit my pants, so I start doing the like bowlegged hop, run and just trying to keep your bowels in, just trying to walk as fast as possible, and like I’m so glad that I was only about like maybe 30 yards away, so I just let loose and just shat my pants, all into my white swimsuit. It was – it was hefty amount, it was like – it was like the amount like one log. And then I got to the thing, and I was like I swear to god if one of these stales aren’t open – luckily one of them was got in you know finished the rest of the deed.

But then I’m like, I have a shitty pants, like how I’m going to solve this. Like, I like this girl, and I don’t want to lose this, so I just bite the bullet, took off my swim trunks and just kept flushing the toilet and washed my swim trunks in the like Venice Public Beach restroom toilet bowl water, put them back on, did a valiant walk, right back into the water.

Hang out in the water for a bit, cleaned myself off, made myself feel good, and went back up, started hanging out again, right, because you got to see when life hands you, shit in your pants, you must got to take care of it, you got to be in charge, you got to do what needs to be done. I did, I got done with it; it was a good day.



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