Erik Skottegard Speech

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Erik Skottegard Speech

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[Erik Skottegard Speech]

[Erik Skottegard:] Source: LYBIO.net
Good morning.

[Students:]
Good morning.

[Erik Skottegard:]
How many of you are pro-dild0? Anyone? Huh? [Bones got on your balls?] All right. Well, by the end of the speech, it is my goal to change this.

So my name is Erik Skottegard and I’m here to talk to you today about s3x toys.

s3x is a very basic human need that can be alleviated through use of s3x toys. And this is a very important topic for me because I cannot stand to see people suffering from blue balls or a neglected snatch. It’s terrible which should not happen to anybody.

So my main points are as follows:

First off, s3x is a basic human need that can be satisfied through use of s3x toys.

Next, abstinence. You can use s3x toys to still have fun without having to worry about getting STDs, or getting preggers or any of that.

And finally, s3x toys can improve your relationship. Once it gets sale, you can move on and do all kinds of other stuffs that the human body can’t. So move on. Now that you’ve heard just a tip, let’s get a little deeper on this topic.

So, this right here is Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. Starting at the very top, you have the higher order thinking, most intellectual things, and at the very bottom you got the promise stuff and everything in between.

So you noticed s3x is at the very bottom here right next to food, water, sleep, [amniocentesis] and excretion. And it’s also the only thing that’s on here twice, that’s up here with love and belonging and s3xual intimacy. So it’s on here twice, which means that needs twice of your attention.

So… some thing is just for procreation. Well, procreation is the difference between living things and nonliving things because nonliving things can’t self-replicate. That’s what separates them from us. A dild0 can’t copy itself, this thing can’t, but we can. So it’s also procreation as well, and I’m about to prove that for you, so let’s go even deeper on this topic.

This is the first artificial dong. Any guess as that how long old thing is?

[Students:]
2,000?

[Erik Skottegard:] Source: LYBIO.net
Keep going. Anybody?

[Students:]
100,000…

[Students:]
100,000…

[Erik Skottegard:]
It is 28,000 years old. And that’s just a number, so to put that in perspective, the wheel was invented 5,500 years ago. That shows where our priorities were at as a civilization. You need any further proof as to why s3x is recreational as well as procreational. I don’t know what to tell you.

So – and some people think that you know, it should just be for procreation and not for recreation at all.

Well, we’ll give you this [example], would you like eating Ramen noodles all the time? No, you want to steak every now and then. You want to have fun with it. You want to cook and have a proper veal parmesan or something. Same goes for s3x. It’s not just for procreation; it’s for fun as well.

Next up, this is how far we’ve cum. So those 28,000 years, we’ve gone from stone dild0s to normal dild0s, vibrators, s3x dolls, pocket pussies, double sided dild0s, I don’t know all about that. [pointing to a picture] And this right here is like some spinning tongue thing, I don’t know about that. Anyways, it’s supposed to do something.

So do you know how to use a dild0 or pocket pussy?

[Student (whispers):]
Oh my Gosh.

[Erik Skottegard:]
You can put it in the mouth, in the pink or in the sink. Guys, you have one last option. Step one is lube up, put it in, take it out, repeat steps two and three until something happens and go make a sandwich. [Something like that.]

So dild0s can promote abstinence. You can save your intimacy for that one that you might hold out for way down the road and that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun in the meantime. So why not just go get a vibrator and crank that shit upto 10 and have fun with it because honestly you’re just wasting time otherwise. We all die, 100% of us do. So you only got limited amount of time, so enjoy yourselves.

So you can’t get an STD from your own dild0. It’s pretty self-explanatory unless you’re sharing with somebody you’re not going to get an STD. Also you can’t get preggers because there is no genetic material in here. There is no baby gravy, none of that. So you don’t have to worry about anything.

[So now let’s get involved deep into this topic.]

dild0s enhance relationships, because you can exceed your partner’s limitations. We’re only human here, okay. We only have some much we can do.

So point in – don’t be jealous of a vibrator. Your wiener can’t vibrate. So don’t get jealous of it.

Also, some of those limitations, a dild0 won’t go limp, it doesn’t need stamina, it doesn’t have to go to the gym to workout all the time. And also guys only have one wiener and some girls like getting double stuffed, and you know extra toys help out with that.

As far as pocket pussy goes, it’s not going to get headache, it’s not going to want cuddle afterward, it’s not three days out of the month where you can’t use it. Also don’t think of it as competition, it’s complementary. And if you’re fugly, and if you got no game, a dild0 doesn’t care.

Next up, we’ve got clone your willy. This little kid right here is pretty special. What it does is it creates a mold of your wang.

So what you do, is you create a mold with it, and then you put this little vibrating thing in there and then pour the rest of this other gel shit in there and it creates a vibrating mold on your own wiener.

What’s that good for?

Well, that’s good for your sweet honey baby.

You’re always at her side. You’re never gone and she doesn’t have to worry about that. And best stuff; she won’t be as tempted to cheat on you while you’re away. So if any of guys or you know, military couples or anything like that, you got a long tour of duty or something like that, don’t worry because you are still right there with her.

All right, so – moving on here.

All right, so I’m going to pull out the largest topic and get down to it.

It’s time to make like a condom and wrap this up with a list of dil-do’s and dil-don’ts.

First up, use lots of lube, a dry hole is a very unhappy hole.

Wash thoroughly after each use.

You don’t want to get any kinds of nasty infections.

Yeast infections are bad, [I had them, they’re horrible.]

Next, if you’re going into it for the first time, make sure you get a modest size. A lot of girls have eyes bigger than their puns. Don’t do that because you can’t return these things and they’re expensive as hell. This thing cost me $30, okay, and I only used it one-time and I can’t turn this thing back in. So learn from me and don’t do that.

All right, dil-don’t force it in.

Yeah, human limitations we are only so big on the inside.

Not everything is going to fit.

Don’t share your toys unless you know who you’re with is clean. You don’t want to get their STD’s or whatever the hell else they’re carrying.

Also don’t get jelly of the vibrator or anything else. It’s a complement, not a competition, okay. And finally my last dil-don’t is my anaconda don’t.

So finally ending this off, respect the dild0, understand the dild0 and dil-do have a nice day. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Camera Man Fail

[Man (Background):] Source: LYBIO.net
You know, I’m glad that I was sitting back, here not sitting in front of the class so they can see me cracking up. First of all, the presentation I think by far is the most novel that I’ve ever heard. It’s certainly the boldest thing I have ever heard and…

[Erik Skottegard:]
Thank you.

[Man (Background):]
And it was executed in [I think a rather] way.

[Erik Skottegard:]
Thank you.

[Man (Background):]
And in many respects I’m speechless … I learned a few things…

[Erik Skottegard:]
Awesome, I can still teach an old dog new tricks.

[Man (Background):]
You know what? Especially after I’ve heard of your speech in my 8 o’clock [Inaudible/Cross Talk]

[Female (Background):]
What?

[Man 3 (Background):]
Are you talking about [Inaudible]?

[Man (Background):] Source: LYBIO.net
[Inaudible].

[Erik Skottegard:]
All right, well I’ll say this in YouTube right.

[Man (Background):]
How long was your speech?

[Erik Skottegard:]
I don’t know. I’m making into about 10.

[Man 2 (Background):]
It sounds better.

[Man (Background):]
The last time you put up the good morning sign to where you’ve – oh I see, where you’re coming from, all right. You say 10 minutes, I had 8:40 in terms of where you actually started speaking, I will look at that 10 minutes because you’ve actually had that multi-pictured slide to start with. I hadn’t considered that starting place.

[Erik Skottegard:]
Okay.

[Man (Background):]
Okay. Are there any comments or questions? Ladies, I hope that you’re not embarrassed or – well, tell me how you feel about the presentation?

[Female (Background):]
I have a question.

[Erik Skottegard:]
Yes, ma’am.

[Female (Background):]
Where did you get that?

[Erik Skottegard:] Source: LYBIO.net
[Multiple Speakers]

[Female (Background):]
It was a joke. I was just kidding.

[Erik Skottegard:]
[Multiple Speakers]

[Man 4 (Background):]
I don’t have a question. I have a comment, a couple of comments.

[Erik Skottegard:]
Yes, please.

[Man 4 (Background):]
First of all, I’m pretty impressed that you’ve found so many references for this stuff. And second, I’d have to say is much more professionally put together than I expected.

[Erik Skottegard:]
What that supposed to mean?

[Man 4 (Background):]
It’s just…

[Erik Skottegard:]
You had no hopes for me, no faith … I mean, come on … [Multiple Speakers]

[Man 4 (Background):]
Did you have any personal interviews?

[Erik Skottegard:]
No, I did with the one at Love Shack [Multiple Speakers]

[Man 5 (Background):]
Did you get some funny looks when you…

[Erik Skottegard:]
I sure did.

[Man 5 (Background):]
…when you walked in to buy that?

[Erik Skottegard:] Source: LYBIO.net
Yeah, that’s kind of rough one…in there alone.

[Man 6 (Background):]
Well, if you would walked in there with another guy would have been more, right.

[Erik Skottegard:]
Good point. Anybody else have any questions or comments?

[Man (Background):]
You know, yeah, I do. In one sense, this could be viewed as a humorous speech since you had a lot of laughs and humor is always good in anyone’s speech. But again, I’ve already made my comments there, this is rather interesting. All right, who’s next?

[Erik Skottegard:] Source: L Y B I O . N E T
All right, thank you.

Erik Skottegard Speech. I cannot stand to see people suffering from blue balls or a neglected snatch. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.

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