Eminem – The Real Slim Shady

Eminem – The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re going to have a problem here

(Verse 1)

Ya’ll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorced throwing her over furniture (Ahh!)
It’s the return of the- “Oh wait, no way, your kidding,
he didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”
And Dr. Dre said…Nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga)
Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
flippin' the you-know-who "yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals..." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote,
women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...

(Chorus) 2x

Cuz' I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

(Verse 2)

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so f**k him and f**k you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe!"
I should download her audio on mp3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (AHH!)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups; all you do is annoy me
so I've been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there’s a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don’t give a f**k like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing
But not quite me!

(chorus)2x

(Verse 3)

I’m like a head trip to listen to
Cause I’m only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya’ll
And I don’t gotta be false or sugar-coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip) I just shit it
better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums.
Its funny; ’cause at the rate I’m going when I’m 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting.
Pinching nurses asses when I’m jackin’ off with Jergens
and I’m jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn’t working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin’
He could be workin’ at Burger King spittin’ on your onion rings [*HACH*]
Or in the parking lot, circling
screaming, “I don’t give a f**k!”

With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up,
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

(chorus)2x