Ellen DeGeneres – Memorable Monologue Web MD
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[Ellen DeGeneres – Memorable Monologue Web MD]
[Ellen Lee DeGeneres (January 26, 1958):] Source: LYBIO.net
Ellen: You feel okay, everybody feels all right? Good I’m glad to hear it because a whole lot of people are sick right now, there is something going around and I don’t what its like where you work, but here one person gets sick everybody get sick and that’s because we cant stop making out with each other. We are — all day along. I notice that when people are sick two things happen. One, they sit right next to me on the business and go. And two, then – they are hesitant to cover their mouth is what I’m saying.
And two, they go on the internet and they diagnose themselves. Does anybody – that’s the big thing now, who has been on and diagnosed themselves with some kind of – that’s horrible. It’s crazy that you do that because there is these websites, they list all the symptoms and then you are trying to figure out what you have and it seems like you know they put these ideas in your head. I think it’s dangerous, because you know you don’t know you might have a headache or you feel tired and the next thing you know you have convinced yourself you have asthma or you are pregnant with twins or something.
[Ellen DeGeneres:] Source: LYBIO.net
I had a friend call me, her name is – well lets call her Nicole that’s her name. And, so Nicole calls me and she says that she is having shot pains, so she is online and she is reading one article that led her to another article that led her to another article about and hour later she was certain that she had an enlarged prostate. [laughing] Yeah. I was no Nicole, no, no. Then she called me back, it turned out she was sitting some marbles. [laughing]
This is all new to me, when I was growing up we didn’t have the internet at all, we couldn’t diagnose ourselves and I was raised Christine science, so we didn’t even go to a doctor. If I thought I was sick, my momma would say “oh you are not sick, get back to work at the factory” [laughing]
And sometimes I think that we have too much information at our finger tips, because then it makes us worry about things that we don’t need to worry about and you can spend hours diagnosing what you think you have, you finally go to a real doctor and he says that weird spot on your cheek is chocolate pudding. [laughing]
Check. That’s what the check, throwing, could have used a credit card or billed me, but anyway.
If I looked up the way I was feeling right now, you just never know, because my pulse is raising and my heart is pounding and my feet are itching and it would probably say I have restless leg syndrome, but really it just means its time to dance.
Ellen DeGeneres – Memorable Monologue Web MD. I have restless leg syndrome, but really it just means its time to dance. Comedy Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.