DEA Raids Dorm Cody Zuccari Commits Suicide Mom Jelaine Zuccari Speaks Out
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[DEA Raids Dorm Cody Zuccari Commits Suicide Mom Jelaine Zuccari Speaks Out]
The Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention, Inc.
The Compelling Story of Cody Zuccary As Told By His Mother Jelaine Zuccari.
[Jelaine Zuccari (Mother):] Source: LYBIO.net
My name is Jelaine Zuccari and I am here to today to talk to you about something you do not want to hear about.
Something I wish to God I was not here talking about. Something I thought that myself and my family were completely safe from.
Last April, by son Cody killed himself.
Cody Wayne Zuccari
1991 – 2011
He was just finishing the second year at University of Florida in Mechanical Engineering. Getting ready to come home for summer break, telling all his friends how excited he was. No one ever suspected that he was secretly traumatized, except for his roommates and maybe the Gainesville Police.
I am sharing this part of my life with you because I cannot save my son. It has taken me several months to realize that no matter how angry I get or how hard I try, he is not coming home. The most I can do now is to be there for my daughter and to maybe help others realize that troubles are not always evident. Let me tell you a little bit about Cody.
First off, he loved going to UF and being on his own. He was always so independent and strong minded, even as a young child. His strength and academics received him a full high school scholarship to American Heritage High School, a bright future scholarship to UF and a National Merit finalist. His sense of humor was always witty and sarcastic, never taking life seriously. We were also proud of him. I always believed that he would make the right choices for himself. Well, being human, Cody made a mistake. One; that he thought he couldn’t live with.
Now I am going to let him tell you about it and his final letter, and I’ve asked his best friend, lifetime friend Nick [Last Name] to read. I will follow with my response letter. My hope and sharing my family’s personal tragedy is to try to spare another family, this heartbreak.
To mom, dad and Hannah, I have no idea how to put into words all the things I want to say to you. I love you more than I could ever hope to express even if I was never very good at showing it, even if my actions now seems to suggest the opposite. If I had known two weeks ago that I would be doing this, I would have driven home and never left.
On April 11th, DEA agents searched my apartment one suspicions that my roommate was selling drugs.
Like the short sighted idiot I am, I was making hallucinogens known as mushrooms and DMT.
These are safe to the body and completely non-physically addicting, but they are Schedule 1 drugs, meaning the manufacturer is considered a great offence than crystal meth or crack. Yeah, makes no sense to me either.
Among other things, I am soon to be charged with at least four felonies, two of them being drug manufacturing and trafficking, basically life changing consequences that I am not capable of dealing with.
I never made this to sell them, just for my own enjoyment.
I know this is pointless information, but wanted you to know that this is not something you could or should have seen coming.
Two weeks ago, I was a very, very happy with my life and suicide was literally a last thing on my mind.
Mom and dad, I love you so much and I could not have asked for better parents.
You gave me a special and beautiful life and were there for me through all my ups and downs. I was given a perfect life and opportunity by you, but I played a selfish gamble with my future and lost big time.
There should be no guilt or what if’s in your heart, as you should know that nothing you could of done what I made me a better person. I am the failure in this case.
I believe I will never be caught with my own actions and I was wrong. I failed to see that the most important part of life is family and my greatest regret other than what I am doing to you and our family is that I did not spend more time with you and Hannah in recent years. You deserve a better son and I wish I could have been that son.
Hannah, this is hard for me to write, especially knowing the pain I’m about to cause to you, mom and dad. I messed up big and in a bigway and I am taking the selfish way out.
I love you so much Hannah, and I am sorry I won’t be able to be there for you as you go through life. You’re going into a beautiful young woman, I know, I checked your Facebook, and I cannot express how sorry I am to be leaving you, especially like this. I was not the big brother I wish I could have been for you and that is my greatest regret. You, mom and dad do not deserve what I am doing to you. I am a horrible role model, but I know you will continue to be a beautiful person and live an outstanding life. I just wish I could be there for you. I will not try to justify my actions both the drugs and the suicide, though I strongly disagree with the laws regarding two main substances I was caught with, a law is a law. I played with fire and I got burnt.
I was unintentionally gambling away my future, my happiness and my life all in the name of stupid fun.
I am beyond sorry for my actions mom and day. You raised the better son than what I’ve done and I have no explanation for that. I wish I did. I wish I did. I wish I had a horrible family so I can do this without more remorse, but I don’t. I have a lovely family that is perfect in every sense of the word and now I am throwing that away and ruining your lives for further selfish reasons.
I wish I was a better person, a better man, and better son, and a better brother, but I am not. I am just some selfish idiot causing big problems in your lives by escaping my own. But that I always have and always will, love you, Cody.
[Jelaine Zuccari:] Source: LYBIO.net
Dear Cody, I want you to know that I forgive you for taking your precious life away from us. I understand that you were in such dark place that you cannot find your way out. If only you would have reached out to us, did you not realize how deep our love was for you that we would have spared no effort or cause to see you safely through the storm?
I would give anything to have you back. I am sure you suffered tremendously, but now your family and friends are suffering and will continue to suffer because you are not here with us.
You found yourself under a dark animus cloud, but how many times have we put up those damn storm shutters on our 12-foot windows only to have a storm be so mind that you and your sister played in the wind.
Sometimes fear is worse than reality. I know that you would have made it. We would have rallied as a family and dealt with your problem and been stronger for it, wiser too, maybe we would even someday laugh about the college days and worry about your children as they headed off into the world.
Your storm would have past Cody, and the sun would of risen for you again. But for now, you’ll remain forever in my heart. Love mom.
[Jackie Rosen (Executive Director, CEO – Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention, Inc.:] Source: LYBIO.net
Hello. My name is Jackie Robinson, and I am the Executive Director, CEO of the Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention or FISP.
What you have just heard is one of just many stories that take place in the U.S. at a rate of 35,000 that die by suicide and up to 875,000 attempts each year in the U.S.
Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in our country. Each and every 15.2 minutes there is a death by suicide, and an attempt to every 38 seconds, suicide is the third highest killer of 14 to 24 year olds, and the second highest killer of college students.
The most prevalent cause of suicide is the pressure, and as a family member, friend, co-worker or schoolmate, you need to know that the signs of suicide.
Don’t ignore the signs, reach out, help, go to FISP website and learn all about the signs and how many things that we have in resources and what FISP really does to help.
You can make a huge difference in a lot of lives when you help save a single life. You may even change the world.
Connect for Help and Follow:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
DEA Raids Dorm Cody Zuccari Commits Suicide Mom Jelaine Zuccari Speaks Out. Help save a single life. You may even change the world. Complete News Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.