Dara O Brian – On Video Games
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[Dara O Brian – On Video Games]
[Dara Ó Briain (February 4, 1972)] Source: LYBIO.net
Videogames do a thing that no other industry does. You cannot be bad at watching a movie. You cannot be bad at listening to an album. But you can be bad at playing a videogame, and the videogame will punish you and deny you access to the rest of the videogame. No other art form does this.
You’ve never been reading a book, and three chapters in, the book has gone, what are the major themes of the book so far? And you’ve gone, well, I don’t know, oh, for fuck’s sakes. You’ve never been listening to an album and after four songs, the album has gone, dance, dance, show me your dancing is good enough to merit this. And you go, is this good enough and the album goes, no, and stops. No other art, but videogames do it all the time.
I’ll give you an example. A very famous game came out a couple of years ago, very controversial game, Grand Theft Auto IV, right. A lot of people do play that. Very controversial game because you could drag people into an alleyway and shoot them in the head. I never got to that bit. I got stuck on a bit where they steal a car, and drive across the city and assassinate a guy in a train station. But the fucker kept running away.
So, I had to steal the car again and drive all the way back again. But you couldn’t drive quickly because there’s a toll booth in the middle of the route, I had to slow up at the toll booth and pay the toll. Trust me, six or seven attempts at this, you’re in your front room, in your pants going, I’m in fucking traffic. I’m on my day off, and I’m commuting, what kind of agent am I? How am I wasting my life here?
[Dara Ó Briain] Source: LYBIO.net
If I lived in Liberty City, I’d buy a flat near the guy I had to assassinate, and I’d fucking walk to work. These games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band where you get a full sized plastic guitar, and you can play along, whoo, whoo, yeah, whoo, whoo; and you can play along to your favorite rock song, yeah, red, blue, blue, red, blue, red, blue-blue red, or difficult there’s blue and red, blue and red, ahh.
And you buy them, because at the back of the box it names the songs you can play along to, and like one of the members said, Sabotage by the Beastie Boys, and I’d oh god, I’d love Sabotage by the… I can’t wait to play Sabotage by the Beastie Boys. I wanna play Sabotage by the Beastie Boys, because it’s song number 85 in the game. So you need to play the preceding 84 songs to unlock Sabotage by the Beastie Boys, and trust me, around about the mid 40s, you’re playing maps by the yea, yea, yeas, another shite you’ve never heard of.
And in the same pants, in the same front room, going red, blue, blue, I am fucking wasting my life here, yes. And the gaming jurors go, no, you have to unlock it, that’s the way the game works, and you go, yeah, I’m 38. I unlocked it in a shop with a credit card. Give me me fucking contact. And they go, no, no, no, this is the music industry. It just mimics the music, you’ve got to work your way slowly up the music industry, song by song, until you can get to the top and play the songs you want. And you’re going, yeah, it’s the music industry. You can always suck a little cock to get to where you want to get in the music industry.
[Dara Ó Briain] Source: LYBIO.net
Why don’t they simply put in a cheat level, where you take the top off the guitar, pop the shaft into your mouth, red, blue, blue, red, red, blue, red, blue, red and blue, red and blue, red and blue? There we go, right, Sabotage by the Beastie Boys, anyone?
Dara O Brian – On Video Games. You cannot be bad at watching a movie. You cannot be bad at listening to an album. But you can be bad at playing a videogame, and the videogame will punish you and deny you access to the rest of the videogame. No other art form does this. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.