Danny Bhoy Drinking In America Vs Scotland
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[Danny Bhoy Drinking In America Vs Scotland]
[WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE]
[Danny Bhoy (Born Danni Chaudhry):] Source: LYBIO.net
In day-to-day life, it annoys me. I went–I was just in L.A. a little while ago, and they have a thing in bars- like pubs in L.A. they have a thing called a drink minimum policy. They might have it here in Canada too. I don’t know. It’s where you have to have a minimum of two drinks if you go into the pub. I don’t why. The big bouncer: [American accent] “Sir, we have ” I said, “that won’t be ” [whispers] “I’M FROM SCOTLAND.” “So long as there’s no maximum, let the games begin” and I went into this pub, and I got up to the bar, sitting on the barstool, making friends, you know, having a few drinks. But here’s the thing. They don’t have– in bars in America, they don’t have that nice little safety bit at the back of the stool. It’s just a flat stool. You know, like, ’cause that’s handy. In Scotland, you get that, and you’d be telling a story, and I sat down, and, “oh-ha-ha-ha-ha. WHOA, Fuck. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Nearly went back there, didn’t I? “But they don’t have it in America, and I didn’t know this.
And I was telling a story, and I was having a bit of a laugh, and then I went to drink the last bit of my beer, and I had to tilt my head all the way back, and I went, “OH, SHIT, WAIT, ” and I went all the way back, and I fell off my barstool. Now, there’s two reactions to falling off your barstool, right? You either laugh like a child on the ground, encouraging people to join in. “Ha-ha-ha-ha. I have fallen. Ha-ha-ha-ha.” blood pouring out the back of your head. That’s the first reaction. Well, the other reaction is, you get straight back up. You gotta get straight back up now and take a long, hard look at the stool. That is dangerous. “I did the first one, right, lying on the ground, laughing away. The big bouncer, the big, you know, two-drink-minimum guy comes up to me. Huge guy. He had his mobile phone in a holster. Don’t move or I’ll text you” “Sir,” he said, “I’m gonna have ” I says, “why? ” that’s my drunk voice, by the way. Do you ever do that? When you’re drunk, do you ever over-enunciate?
Because in your head, you think, “if I’m talking like that, how will anybody know I’ve been drinking” “because you know, like, I’m ” “hello, I’d like to get into the club, please. You don’t know me.” [chuckles] It’s one of the things I love about Scotland, is our drinking. We–we go nuts.
You can tell how much a country loves its drinking from its reaction to last orders at the bar, can’t you? Last call, you know, that little bell. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. In Paris, they’re all cool, and, “eh, well, that is last orders. Bahhh. We should finish up our drinks and go outside into the moonlight. It will be very beautiful.I will kiss you” But, see, in Scotland, we go nuts. Ding, ding. “FUCKIN WANKERS, OH, GOD, YOU BASTARD. [bleep] OFF. [bleep]. DON’T YOU DARE RING THAT [bleep] BELL, YOU [bleep] [bleep].” ‘Cause no one– it’s crazy. No one, here’s the thing. No one ever wants to go home in Scotland. “Wait, I don’t want to go home now; I’ll remember everything. What was the point in coming ” but last call in Scotland, of course, means you don’t have to–you don’t have to go there. You can get one more drink in. But we’re Scottish, so we get two in. That’s what we always do. “Right, okay, we’ve only– we’ve only got 15 minutes left. Drink two. come on, everyone. Two, two. COME ON, FUCK OFF. You’re having two. “EVERYONE’S GOING, “FUCK OFF, ” you know, you can be hunched on the toilet, puking your guts out, and they’re, “come on, get out.
You’re having two.” And it’s not uncommon. See, it’s not uncommon in Scotland to see a guy at the end of the night with a drink in each hand. Sometimes we’ve got a drink in between the two. Doesn’t matter. It’s just the way we– ’cause, you know, we’re sort of–we don’t need– we don’t need our hands. You’d never see that in Italy. You’d never see a guy with a drink in each hand. How would he talk? You always need the– [imitating Italian] ” [imitating Italian] You need the one hand. That’s what they do. We in Scotland, we’ve mastered the entire art of conversation in just the head bit. “All right, how’s it going? Yeah, all right. Have you met Barry? ” it’s like the entire Scottish male population has evolved from grain-fed chickens at some point in their lives. “How’s it going? All right. Look at her. She’s all right, innit she? Not her.her.”
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[Danny Bhoy):] Source: LYBIO.net
I’ll tell you what I hate, and you’ll get this here in Canada as well. What’s that bit at the end of the night when a pub wants you to leave? Why do they throw all the lights on? What – what possible good can come from that? All that does is illuminate the full horror of your situation. You don’t want to see anything at that time of night. All of a sudden, bang, “FUCKIN HELL, HAVE I BEEN Talking to a pool cue for 20 minutes? Did no one think about telling ” don’t know–why do they do that?
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Danny Bhoy Drinking In America Vs Scotland. What’s that bit at the end of the night when a pub wants you to leave? Why do they throw all the lights on? Comedy Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.