Fred – Cooks For Judy

[Fred]

Hey It’s Fred and today it’s like raining out and all discusting so, I really don’t know what I’m gonna do with my time. I’m gonna sing a song that expresses my love for Judy. Whenever I listen to the song, it reminds me of Judy’s precious face.

[So Close- Jennette McCurdy Plays In The Background]

I can’t help myself, I can’t help myself but smile. Everytime I see your face. Everytime I see your face
And we’ve never met, I bet you don’t know my name.
How’d you get to be so close when you’re so far away

[Fred]

I was trying to act like that stuffed animal was Judy. That song was by Jennette McCurdy, and let me just say her looks are as high as Judy’s looks so let me just say it’s pretty smokin. But I still love Judy with a burning passion, let me tell you, we’re gonna be together, someday, someday, we’ll be married – I swear!

Oh, my gosh, I just had the perfect idea, cause its’ so rainy outside and there’s nothing to do – so I’m gonna make food for Judy.

Let me think what would Judy like. Um, lets see what would a girl like, well, my mom is a girl and she loves buttered mushrooms. Let me tell you she’s gonna love this – buttered mushrooms – so much – Ah ha….

My mom told me if I eat too much butter I’m gonna end up being as fat as ______ but I don’t care. Yum…I love butter, even if it’s fattening.

Time to cook this delicious food inside the microwave, ha ha.

I wouldn’t want to talk about this a few years ago but an animal died inside my microwave and my mom didn’t have the money to buy a new one so we still have that one. But it’s okay that an animal died inside our microwave because now that animal’s soul is looking down on our food and guarding it. And sometimes when I’m bored I talk to the animals soul inside the microwave and it responds and it gives me advice about the problems I have.

Okay all done- the mushrooms are all done and I bet you that Judy will love them so much and then she will love me!

And I’m also gonna give Judy a frozen tv dinner. And you’re probably wondering why I’m giving her a frozen tv dinner well, the reason is, sometimes my mom doesn’t want to use the electricity in the microwave so we just eat the tv dinners frozen.

And let me tell you everything tastes better frozen – okay that’s all I’m gonna make for you – cause I don’t want her to turn into a fatty ma- gig!

[Knocking On The Door]
Judy are you in there. Judy it’s Fred. Answer the door.

Hey, here is some food for you – _______ girl.

[Judy- Speaking In The Background]
Oh, my gosh Fred that food is so disgusting, please tell me you’re joking – Go Away!

[Fred]
Why, why didn’t she like the food?

[Fred]
Ah, at least someone likes the food I made.

[Fred - Petting The Squirrel Friend]
Your such a good squirrel friend.

[Fred]
Okay, I’m back inside now, cause it started raining outside really bad. Hopefully the rain will eat through the roof of Judy’s trailer! Maybe that will make Judy learn a lesson or two. Ah, I spent so much time making that food and Judy didn’t even eat it.

Whatever! I bet if I made that food for Jennette McCurdy, she would love it! Peace out home dog. The thing I learnt today is that you should only spend time making food if you’re sure the person will eat it.

[Fred]
Bye

[So Close- Jennette McCurdy Plays In The Background]

I can’t help myself, I can’t help myself but smile. Every time I see your face.

Fred – Cooks For Judy – Fred wants Judy to love him.