Bill Burr – An Epidemic Of Gold Digging Whores
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[Bill Burr – An Epidemic Of Gold Digging Whores]
[William “Bill” Burr (June 10, 1968)] Source: LYBIO.net
I’m afraid to get married man. Why wouldn’t, why wouldn’t – why – a man wouldn’t be afraid to get married at this point? You know, look at Kobe; look at the shit he is going through right now. All right, the guy is getting a divorce. His wife is going to get $70 million bucks, never hit a lay up in her life. You know, can anybody explain these divorce settlements? Can anybody make sense of these fucking thing, Tiger Woods’ wife, $250 million dollars, she is a babysitter worth a quarter of a billion fucking dollars.
Somebody, go ahead, somebody explain, justify it, justify it, what, what, he cheated on her? I don’t give a fuck. Yeah, I don’t give a fuck, he cheated on her; great the relationship is over right there. Kobe cheated right? Shouldn’t that relationship been over right then? Why did she hang around like some jaded cop for three-years trying to get a fucking pension, right, get the tenures in?
I don’t know, maybe that’s too harsh. That shit bothers me man. Dude, there is an epidemic of gold digging whores in this country, and every night I put on the news and I’m waiting for someone to address it. Every night, never see it, you know. Every night I bring up gold digging whores and the whole crowd pulls back like I’m up here talking about Bigfoot, right? Like I’m saying the moon is made out of cheese or something. I’m talking about whores, people; they’re everywhere.
How many? How many more great men are going to get chopped in half before we do something? Why is it so quiet in here?! God damn, I don’t get it. What is it, as a woman do you think I’m calling you – I’m not calling any woman here a whore, okay. So don’t pull back, that’s not fair. If you brought up wife-beaters I wouldn’t like pull back, I get it. There is guys hitting women, they need to be stopped. We got to understand that gold digging whores are the wife-beaters for men. Yeah, they are, except we don’t have that Rihanna lumped up photo in the end. So it’s not obvious, it’s in the eyes, it’s in the lines in your face. It’s in Mel Gibson’s high-pitch voice on the answering machine. I did give up my Laker tickets, right? That is a sound of man being taken for everything he’s got.
I got to tell you this, because I’m envious of women, okay? I’m not saying your problems get solved but at least they are taken seriously, you know. I think we 1800 numbers, you got ribbons, there’s groups; people give a shit. Anything happens to a guy, it’s just considered funny. Some woman cut her husband’s dick off, threw in the garbage disposal and turned it on. People thought it was hilarious, I mean, hey, hey, stumpy, nobody cares.
Do you think if a guy removed a woman’s titty and threw it in the drier anybody will be joking about it the next day? The entire country would grind to a halt; it’d be a moment of silence; the NFL would have some special colored headband everybody had to wear for an entire month. The most a-feminine color they could possibly come up with.
All my heroes are going down. Arnold Schwarzenegger, another great man, another great man, taken down by that gold digging whore of a maid he’s got. And I’m not – I’m not saying he’s not a piece of shit for doing what he did, it was a piece of shit move, but how come over he got chastised. What about that maid? Why wasn’t she called the maid, that entire story, she was never called a whore, ever? Just boggled my mind, she knew his wife first-name basis, played with her kids, fucked her husband in their own god damn bed, that’s right down the checklist, first ballot hall of fame whore, right there, never.
[Bill Burr] Source: LYBIO.net
Why did you think she hooked up with him? Because of that 1987 flat top he’s still rocking, the giant space between his teeth I can put this mic cord through? Or I think maybe it’s all that Kindergarten Cop money lying around the god damn bedroom.
No, it’s awful, it’s a horrific thing to see as a guy, watching guys go through that shit, you know, and then there’s no sort of examination of it. They just, ah, he’s an idiot, yeah, he is stupid. That guy is stupid, if that guy is stupid what the fuck am I, right?
Does it even make sense? Why would you do that, why would you accomplish all that and then fuck it up? Hooking up with one of the ugliest human beings I’ve ever seen in my life. Not saying I’m a prize, I’m just saying; you know. There’s got to be something beyond that right?
You know what I think it is, I think it comes down to the way he talks, you know.
That dude should be unloading trucks in Transylvania. That should be – that should have been the height of his success, well, because he’s a great man he had the balls to move to America, became famous for lifting weights. I lift weights nobody gives a shit. He lifts weights, ah, ah, ah, becomes super famous. Did he rest on his laurels? No, next challenge, I’m going to become an actor despite the fact that nobody can really understand me. Against all odds he starts making movies, “get down there is a bomb, get out of there”; becomes one of the biggest blockbuster stars of all time.
What are you going to do next Arnie? I think I’ll marry a Kennedy, there is no fucking way you can do that. Bam! He does it. Cherry on top, I’m running for governor of a state I can’t even pronounce and he wins the election. Why wouldn’t this guy think he couldn’t bang his maid in his own bed and get away with it? This dude has been in the zone for over four decades, four decades nothing but net. Bang a maid in my own bed, dude, that’s a lay up. Are you serious? I had a hit movie with a midget. I don’t even need a condom.
Right? And then what happens, the smoke clears.
Then all these trolls come out of the woodwork and start judging this great man, all these fatties, these fucking old guys who never got any with their jowls, coming on TV, absolutely reprehensible behavior, what kind of a public servant, his legacy is…
Like they have any idea what it’s like to be tempted at that level, right? Like they have groupies as they wally out to their Mercury Tracer, parked on the other side of a dumpster, really you’re beating them off?
This guy, he’s not a great man anymore; Terminator doesn’t count, is that what the fuck you’re telling me, because he fucked Alice, really? He’s still not a great man, because he did that, then that’s – the whole thing is over. Anybody here think they could move to Austria, learn the language, become famous for working out, then be a movie star, then marry into their royalty, and hold public office. How many life times would you need? I’m on my third attempt at Rosetta Stone Spanish, right?
[Bill Burr] Source: LYBIO.net
How can I judge these guys? I can barely handle the temptations of Facebook. I am gonna to judge Tiger Woods? I golf, I don’t walk off the 18th hole; and there’s a bus load of Scandinavian women, waiting to fuck my brains out. Sorry ladies, got to home to the wife, right? Now, it kills me. And there is no help out there for guys. There isn’t it, there is nothing out there to help you handle, becoming rich and famous. There is nothing to prepare you for that platoon of whores that’s gonna form on a horizon, right? Like brave heart, faces painted, skirts on, will run down the hill, they’ll jump on your dick in front of your wife, they don’t give a shit.
It’s not even a handbook out there. I saw one article written about it on – the cover of Time magazine it said, why does so many rich, famous and powerful men act like absolute pigs, right? And the article was actually written by a woman, that’s like me writing a book, The Third Trimester and What to Expect.
Ladies, you’re going to feel the pressure, and how the hell would I know? You don’t hear that from me, right? The wisest woman telling me what it’s like to have a dick, it makes no sense. You have no idea what’s like to have a dick, 24/7 do it, do it, fuck it, do it, that’s what it’s saying, Do it, do it, yeah, do it. That’s how we survived as a species.
Every man in here is programmed to fuck 85% of the women in this room, right? Yeah, we are, do it, do it, fuck it, do it, you know, it’s just that you won’t, that’s the only reason why we don’t, you know. That’s not you keeping your dick in check, you know. Some guy at Home Depot, working there, he wants to fuck, just as many women as a celebrity, right, but he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber, right?
But the second he hits the fucking lottery, all of the sudden, you know, that do it, do it, fuck it, do it, you know, that wasn’t affecting his life, then all of a sudden this whore show up, I’ll do it, I’ll suck it, I’ll do it, right?
Now somebody’s got to step up, all right. I am not even blaming whores really, it’s just guys were fucking idiots, what we are doing, why we are working so hard and giving it all away to some chick who did three shifts at a fucking Hooters, you know. They’re fucking bums, sitting there with fucking Dorito dust in their cleavage, walking around with hundreds of millions of dollars. I’m sick of that. You know, it’s what the law says. A hundred years ago I could beat you with a fucking mop handle; it’d be like, you know, it’s what the law says. Does it make us right?
Now, it’s unreal. And all this shit is going down, we don’t – we’re not doing anything. What are we doing? Same old shit, sitting around watching Shark Week, all right, watching shit about poisonous snakes half a world away, just filling your head up with all this useless information. What to do if you come face-to-face with a Bengal Tiger? Don’t look at it; don’t look away, slowly back up, as you push your friend forward, right?
All this useless information, yet hanging between your legs is this thing that could crumble your entire empire seven minutes or less; don’t know a fucking thing about it. Even worse, you think it’s your friend, yeah, you know what, because your dick. Your dick is like a dreamer, you know, your dick believes, it’s like a motivational speaker. And don’t give a shit what question you ask it, it’s always like yeah, yeah, absolutely, sounds like a plan, exit strategy, later, we’ll be fine.
[Bill Burr] Source: LYBIO.net
Where’s your dick when you get caught, right, then it’s just slumped over, yeah, I thought it was a good idea. Yeah. We have to know that, dude, your – if your dick was a third base coach, it wouldn’t hold anybody up, it’ll just be fucking waving people around, everybody, go and standing up, you got it, you got it; oh, shit there she comes, slide, slide, slide. Oh, you guys were awesome. Thank you so much for coming out. I hope you had as good a time as I did. Thank you.
Bill Burr – An Epidemic Of Gold Digging Whores. How many more great men are going to get chopped in half before we do something? Why is it so quiet in here?! God damn, I don’t get it. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.