Amy Schumer Joke Controversy
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[Amy Schumer Joke Controversy]
Wendy Liebman, 1990s
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I like it when the guy pays… for sex, I mean that.
Amy Schumer, 2015
I am a good person, I swear to you; like I’m very old school. I think the guy should always pay on the first date for sex. And…
Patrice O’Neal – The Nasty Show (Part 2)
Taped 2006 or 2007 at JFL
Uploaded January 29, 2008
You ever ‘Gorilla mask her’? Gorilla mask. That’s – you cum in her face, right, and then take some pubic hair and throw it at her.
[Amy Schumer:] Live at the Apollo
Taped May 29, 2015
Released October 17, 2015
There is ‘The Abraham Lincoln’ and that’s where he – the guy trims his pubes, cums on the girl’s face and then phttt – throws the pubes, so she has that facial hair.
You ever Poltergeist her? Poltergeist is good. What you need your friend, though, right? Like you fucking her from behind and then you sneak out and he takes your place and then you walk outside and wave at her through the window. And then you go, ‘I’m here’. Stunk, Jay.
The worst one I’ve ever heard is ‘The Houdini’, which is where the guy is having sex with a girl from behind. Then unbeknownst to her, his friend subs in for him. Guy number one, runs outside, knocks on the window, waves to the girl, which is just rape. Like that’s just rape. It’s not fair to Houdini, like no girl is going to think that’s hilarious. No girl is going to be like ‘whoo, baaah’. Baby, I thought you were fucking me, but it’s Phil. I love you.
[Kathleen Madigan:] Source: LYBIO.net
Okay, so I get why poor people are fat, but Oprah, you’re a billionaire. You have enough money to pay a man to stand there and literally slap shit out of your hand before you put in your mouth. You [applause] – you could hire a full-time food slapper.
Amy, you look amazing. What are you doing Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig?
Yeah, right. Those take too much self-control. Last time I checked, I wasn’t a robot. Boop-boop-boop, nope.
How’d you do it?
With Slap Chef.
With Slap Chef.
With Slap Chef.
Slap Chef, what’s that?
It’s a new weight-loss program that takes decision-making out of the equation.
How does it work?
First, one of Slap Chef’s world-class chefs makes you one of their signature dishes. Then before you can say Slap Chef, they knock it out of your stupid mouth. Slap Chef!
What kind of food do they make?
Sandwiches, Slap Chef! Lobster bisque with crème fraiche, Slap Chef! Turkey, Slap Chef! Fettucine Alfredo, Slap Chef!
But what if I fight back?
Go for it. All of the chefs are trained in the art of Tai Chew Moi.
I swear to God if you ever touch me again I’ll…
What about that mumbo jumbo I heard about Slap Chef being just abject violence against women?
You’re so rich you could pay someone to exercise you. You could just lay there like a baby with cerebral palsy and have people move your legs. Heyyy, ohhh, geee.
You’ve tried Slap Chef. But that just left you hungry and with a searing headache. And those other weight-loss programs are exhausting.
Can’t I just do nothing?
What if I told you, you could with Sleep Gym?
I’d say sign me up. But what’s Sleep Gym?
Sleep Gym is a workout program where we do all the work.
Huh? Are you from Sleep Gym?
After we induce you into a coma, it’s off to the gym. As the Sleep Gym trainers take your body through strenuous workouts, the increased blood flow painlessly burns the calories away. You’ll never have to feel yourself doing annoying things like hiking, kickboxing, the official boot camp of the United States Navy Seals.
Move it, you sleepy piece of ****
All right, see you later, Mom.
Where are you going?
Sleep Gym, order now.
[Tammy Pescatelli:] Source: LYBIO.net
There is so much going on right now, like women right now – it you know and I’ll tell you truth. As a woman, I will admit that women dress for other women, right? That’s why men, if we love you, we dress you for other women too – that’s why we dress you stupid. Because we want another women to look at you and go, ‘he’s cute but I can’t fix all of this’. Who do you think invented the Hawaiian shirt? Okay.
You dress him like that so nobody else wants to have sex with him? That’s cool. Hey.
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Amy Schumer Joke Controversy. I think the guy should always pay on the first date for… sex. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.