America First Netherlands Second
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[America First Netherlands Second]
Last Friday the time had come The 45th president of the United States was inaugurated in Washington, D. C. Donald J. Trump. He had a clear message to the rest of the world: “I will screw you over big time.” Well okay, he used slightly different words.
[Donald Trump:] Source: LYBIO.net
From this day forward it’s going to be only America first. America first.
And because we realize it’s better for us to get along we decided to introduce our tiny country to him. In a way that will probably appeal to him the most.
[Vpro Zondag Met Lubach:]
This is a message from the government of The Netherlands.
Dear Mr. President, welcome to this introduction video about The Netherlands. It’s gonna be a great video. Its gonna be absolutely fantastic. Our founding father was William of Orange, who fought against the Spanish. The Spanish were total scumbags. They fought against us for 80 years, but they couldn’t beat us. Couldn’t do it. Total losers. They’re all dead now by the way.
We speak Dutch. It’s the best language in Europe. We’ve got all the best words. All the other languages failed. Danish – total disaster. German is not even a real language. It’s fake. It’s a fake language. We’ve got Ponypark Slagharen, which is got to be the best ponypark in the world. It’s true. They’re the best pony’s, they are. You can ride them. You can date them, you can grab’em by the pony, it’s fantastic.
This is Afsluitdijk. It’s a great, great wall that we built to protect us from all the water from Mexico. We built an entire ocean, okay. An entire ocean between us and Mexico. Nobody builds oceans better than we do. This ocean it is so big, you can even see it from the moon. And we made the Mexicans pay for it. It’s true. You’ve got the Trump Towers we’ve got Lee Towers. He would’ve loved to sing at your inauguration. Amazing voice. Gotta love him.
We’ve got Madurodam, which is the greatest the greatest miniature town in the world. Its great. Well it’s tiny but it’s great. And the squares they are so small, you don’t even need many people to fill them it’s great.
This is Gerry Eickhof. In December we’ve got this scandalous tradition of Black Pete. It’s the most offensive, the most racist thing you’ve ever seen. You’ll love it, it’s great. We also have a disabled politician for you to make fun of. Her name is Jetta Klijnsma. She is from the ministry of Silly Walks. You can do a great impersonation of her. Can’t wait to see it.
People tell us, very important people, they tell us we’ve got the best tax evasion system god ever created. It’s just unbelievable. You should tell your sons to put all your sorry, their businesses here. You’ll pay no taxes at all. Zero! It’s ridiculous! And last but not least, we’ve got a great, great, great dependency on the United States. It’s huge. If you screw NATO, you’re gonna make our problems great again.
They’re gonna be huge, they’re gonna be enormous. It’s true. Please don’t. We totally understand it’s going to be America first, but can we just say: The Netherlands second?
Is that ok? Thank you for watching and best wishes. We’ve got the best wishes in the Netherlands. They’re great. It’s true.
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Voice-over: Greg Shapiro
America First Netherlands Second. This is a message from the government of The Netherlands. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.